Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 2 - Encounter

Journey Into My Heart 1

Welcome.
The events that you will read in this blog are true and accurate.
However, you will see that I have drawn my own conclusions from the events that have happened.

The section up until August 10th (Journey 16) is left - untouched - from when it was just a private blog - I was happy and proud of my miraculous romance.

It was originally started in July 2007 as a private photo record of my journey to the Philippines & was hosted on MySpace. Tierra Maria Estates were made aware of my blog in August 2007 - as I was still keeping it updated on the unfolding story - as the events happened - but it was not always public. However after I wrote the evidence about the fake-scar in October and made the blog public - one hour later - the account was hacked and everything disappeared. MySpace, after security checking, were very helpful in eventually rescuing the files for me. I now keep them separately backed up.

Zoomable map of the Philippines

MY JOURNAL

Some of you may view this as simply unashamed self-publicity, maybe as the trumpettings of a middle-aged man - finding some excitement during a mid-life crisis.
Please let me assure you that these poems, my diary of events, originally were thoroughly private affairs of my heart - they are only posted here to be read as such - and to give me something to do that keeps me close to the wonderful memories I have, while I wait for my situation to resolve itself.

It all started with a growing discontent - at the rut I was in.
My wife and I had been steadily drifting apart for too many years.
Happy in my work, but tired, really tired of being financially drained every month - life was seemingly going nowhere.
The mortgage hung around my neck like a slab of concrete - the house became a burden, not a home.

Out of the blue - cyberspace is blue you know - I received an invitation from a young Filipina to become friends on Friendster. She was very pretty, as indeed a great many of them are - we started an exchange of communication. Somehow, the forwardness of her admitted affections made them seem rather perfunctory - but it is all too easy to be swayed by the satisfaction this brings, the soothing massage to the ego. Before too long, I suspected that I was about to be scammed for money - she started to mention that her family could no longer afford her tuition fees as a trainee nurse - he, he - again, it all seemed far too business like - and stuck out like a red flag for what was supposed to be a developing relationship. Not particularly subtle at all. I've read and I'm sure you've heard tales of the sort of behaviour that goes on - so I cut off communication.

But a seed had been planted in my head. To be honest - hopefully you will have detected by now, it is not my intention to hide anything from you - I have always been attracted to an Eastern look, the dusky skin, the raven hair - I read a great deal on websites associated with the Philippines that they have great respect for the elder members of society (see where this is going?) - were not too particular about the physical appearance of their partner, appreciating more the attributes of loyalty and honesty - "God-fearing" - as they would say.
I will openly admit to my feelings and accept what my taste is - I see no cause for shame either - I am not intending to use force or deception. Provided that I find reciprocation and mutual understanding, I will stand by my particular attractions - free from any burden of guilt that some would wish to accompany them.
I am in search of the miraculous.
I was God-fearing, but now that fear has all but evaporated - replaced by an attitude of wonderment and love - sometimes overwhelmingly so, especially recently.

So I joined a website specifically designed for dating Asian women.

The process is standard - fill in a profile, submit a photo - search through the profiles and lodge messages of interest etc.
My first night, having only just completed my profile - photograph still subject to approval - I got a message back from a young girl in Manila - "Curly Hair."

"hi how are you doing? are you new here? do you have pic? wow musicia here you are! wana be my friend?"

She worked as a "Property Consultant" based in the Tierra Maria Estates sales office in Paranaque City. This was on April 14th 2007 - I remember it so clearly - the start of my adventure, my new life.

[Mayen was aware - right from the start, because I had mentioned my previous encounter, that I was extremely cautious - she admitted that there were a lot of fake people on these dating sites - but assured me that she was all genuine. My research had suggested that the girls on dating sites who lived in the large urban areas, such as Manila, were potentially more risky - in terms of finding a scammer - I was reassured, initially, by the fact that Mayen's profile indicated Southern Leyte as her home - it wasn't until later that I understood she was actually now in Manila.]

Profile picture from DIA

We both seemed to be excited at our new found friendship - indeed we returned day in, day out, to keep the torch burning - as it were - despite the difficulties of actually meeting in real time - due to the seven hour time difference.

[I was enthralled and fascinated also by the mystical charm of the Philippines and the culture there - exploring a new world that seemed to represent a perfect paradise for romance.]

I wrote of my feelings - often in poetry - for I was falling deeply, most surely, most ridiculously in love with this young girl - only 23 years old - what exactly does one feel across the internet - just one simple photograph - but within those eyes, I detected so much - a face that seemed to promise so much to me - way out into my future - I felt such a deep stirring in my heart - much deeper than a simple infatuation.

LOVE STONE

Tides never cease to come and go,
Or draw back with a sigh,
Nor stays the peace,
My spirits flow,
From sinking low,
To rising high.
My heart,
As if a pebble thrown,
Caught fast upon that sloping shore,
First rolling up,
Then tumbling down,
Polished,
Till a stone no more -
By waves that move too deep inside,
To ever understand,
But prove me brave
To never hide -
Just one
Of countless grains of sand.

I was very alert to the possible madness of what I was allowing to happen to myself - oh yes, I was wary, very wary . . .

Now we both must shed the veil,
And tear to shreds illusion's sail
That doubt or fear may no more find
Propulsion here of any kind.

. . . but instead of it fading - every day brought increased vigour to our relationship - we definitely saw each other as an answer to a long held secret prayer - and soon it came to the point of having to meet each other - to have continued, in this purely text-based world, with the depth of feeling that we both admitted to having, would have been impossible. We'd reached the end of all that words could do - so we had to prove it, finally, positively, by meeting person to person.

MIRACLE

As a shell, upon the ear
Close pressed, will bring the sea,
Within my heart, so faint, yet clear,
Is whispering to me
A voice, in kind, to silence near,
A zephyr, stirring constantly,
As soft as only I may hear,
Yet recognise with certainty.

Lucid, though no word be told,
Insistent, as a drum,
The burden of its message holds
A distant, sacred sum,
Another region of my soul
Is calling me to home,
For it be one, yet not the whole
Of all it may become.

How soon could this happen? I enquired when her holiday time was, not wanting her to be pre-occupied with her work while I was there.
Very soon, dates were suggested - confirmed - meeting with her first in Manila - then meeting with her family, seeing her environment - the province where she was born and brought up. I visited my mother - it was the first time she had heard about my domestic situation - she was very happy about my plans - not understanding much about the internet was puzzled as to how I could be in love with a girl I'd never met - but she gave me her blessing.
The next morning I got a call from my sister in Portugal "What's going on? Mum's had a dreadful dream - her guardian angel told her that you are in danger." I facetiously remarked that my phantom lover on the internet was maybe more real than my mother's guardian angel.

This all had to proceed very secretively - I was certain that my marriage had come to an end - I wanted to move on, release the capital that was tied up in the house - but I wasn't prepared to burn my bridges completely at this stage, so secrecy was imperative.
I sold some shares to raise the air fare, arranged for a dear friend to purchase the tickets online - all untraceable to my bank account - very devious goings on - and all the time, I was feeling so much love in my heart - praising God regularly for this miracle - yes, things even improved at home - well they do if you're feeling love in your heart, don't they.

The trip to the Philippines happened to fall on 10 days that were free - sandwiched between 2 visits to Jersey for work. I would simply extend my visit to Jersey to cover the gap - and to cover my traces.

Or so I thought.

12 hours on this - to Hong Kong - then a 3 hour wait - 2 more hours to Manila.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 3 - Preparations

Journey 2

Flames? - oh, very yesterday,
Fire & brimstone? - so passé,
Old Nick has now a better way,
To torture souls (who go astray)

He sends them back to Terra Firma,
As far afield as France and Burma,
And once his players are on set,
He puts them on the internet.

"Sounds just fine" I hear you cry,
But wait - and here's the reason why,
Once they're sat there, up above,
He'll make damn sure they fall in love.


A definite landmark in this period came when she sent me her cellphone number, in an effort to quell my doubts and fears about who she really was - it is impossible across the internet to know for certain - and once faith and trust are put aside, even for a moment - it can all start to turn upside down.
I immediately phoned her up - I will never forget the sound of her golden voice - hearing it for the very first time - hearing the excitement that she was feeling - her wonderful bubbling laughter. The memory of that moment proved a positive lifeline as I started to become engulfed by an ocean of suspicion - unfortunately - the cost of phone calls and the often poor quality restricted, almost entirely, their use.

[Mayen sent me two new photographs of herself after I had pleaded with her to let me know more about her. She teased me on the phone, saying "What you want, sexy pictures?" The two pictures that did arrive were thankfully modest - but made me realise, with a shock, that I had been focussing my love around one solitary photograph - and that I did not really know Mayen at all.]

The intervening time was rather painful - on several fronts. I started to feel a dreadful ambiguity - on the one hand I really wanted this to be genuine, I prayed that it would turn out as it appeared to promise to my heart. But on the other hand, what if I arrived at Manila to find the whole thing a big scam - finding someone unrecognisable there meeting me? Compounding the horror of this dichotomy - no matter how much I tried, I could not communicate this fear any more strongly than the subtlest of hints - virtually undetectable hints - without it becoming very insulting. Trying to get to the truth across the internet is well nigh impossible - words are cheap and honesty is indistinguishable from deceit.
What brought this issue to a head was the fact that I was recommended a hotel that was newly built and had no internet presence. Best advice is always to leave word with a friend of where exactly one is staying when abroad, especially in circumstances like this - I could find no trace. I even went as far as contacting the British Embassy in Manila - they wrote back saying "We are unable to confirm the existence of this hotel."
"Great" I thought - "I'm walking right into a scam" - so I confronted the poor girl with my fears, spilling out all my doubts and suspicions - it was a great relief. After initially getting angry & upset at my wavering trust - she eventually saw the funny side - me fearing for my life - kidnapping - extortion - entrapment. Well it does happen you know.

[So it does exist after all - and very comfortable it was too. This was our home for the first week and our final night together.]

During a discussion about decorating the house - my wife discovers that I am planning on selling up - she immediately, intuitively jumps to the conclusion that I have met somebody else - wow! I cannot deny it, confess everything - except the proposed trip - shh! that's still a secret - well it was. Even that secret seems about to be exposed - due to a phone call that I received at Heathrow, the day I returned - waiting for my connecting flight back to Jersey.

I am so convinced that destiny is about to reveal someone very special - I float around for the remainder of the time before the trip.
I have managed some secret shopping on my previous visit to Jersey, so all that I'll need for the trip is over there - anti-malaria tablets, cool clothes, a new suitcase etc.
Hectic exchanges over the internet approaching d-day. My wife digs her claws in at my plans to sell the house - refuses to divorce, refuses to sell the house. All is doomed as far as I'm concerned - with no money to buy a property in the Philippines or start a business - both have been discussed - I might as well not bother going.

Things go dreadfully quiet and tension in me mounts for a couple of days - waiting to hear the verdict from afar and I am more than relieved to hear back that she is still interested in meeting me - despite my seeming poverty now.
The next day, things calm down a bit at home - we discuss the virtues of splitting up - and I think we both see the wisdom in doing so. But it is frightening to see how hope can paper over the cracks, cover up so many important, crucial details - or maybe it's a case of where there's a will, a way will come. The law of attraction at work.

Yes, I've been doing quite a bit of uplifting, inspirational reading recently - The Secret, Conversations With God, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - all telling me the same thing, the same message. The world is abundant, have faith, create your own future by attracting it towards you - keep the thoughts clearly on target, be thankful - it so much makes sense - I am changing, day by day.

[My goodness - yes - some of my detractors are correct. Regarding my marriage, looking back, I can see now, I was being a selfish pig.
I am not going to attempt to excuse that behaviour.
I can only say I was certainly very unhappy & had been for a long time. I made a mistake with the marriage and considered further time spent in it, for either of us, was wasting the best we could bring to a relationship.
I am only now - over a year later - recovering from the effects of this adventure - reclaiming my life from being absorbed in the detail - and find myself right back where I was - with perhaps a little more insight - when it started.
I won't go into details here of why we are both unhappy - we have both been admitting it for years - here was perhaps the catalyst for change - that would set us both free again - allow us to both reset our lives. Divorce is not pleasant - and adultery as the grounds would not be on the cards (mutuality being a clue) - but separation - after 14 years - was not going to be without trauma - but there comes a time - such a time as this - when decisions have to be made.]

WILDERNESS

My heart has long since
Been restless,
Tethered and caged,
Enslaved in an artifice,
This human zoo.
Where concrete and glass
Confuse the sky,
And each day's passing
Sees my ancestors,
My roots,
My sense of belonging,
Become a distant memory,
Locked behind closed doors.
I want to tread, barefoot,
In my wilderness,
Cast off the grey shroud
Of a murky, out of focus world,
Step away from today,
Hang it up
Some place,
Like an old set of clothes.
I hear a voice calling me,
From my past, yet, within me still.
My inner nature, demands release,
To know that my heart shares
It's beating with the tide,
To know that my breath
Was born on the wind,
To know that within me,
There burns the sacred fire of life.
This dream arrives
From loving you.
You are my wilderness,
My proud, prowling lioness,
You, my inheritance,
My past, my blood,
My breath.
Let us bathe in each other's warm seas,
Let us roar to the same horizon,
Let us discover,
The wild,
The sun,
The moon,
This spinning orb,
The earth,
Our mother.
Our father
Of the spirit.
Becoming one
To create new life,
And let us not heed
The clamorous place,
Nor listen to the brazen voice
That lures us to it's way.
I know a secret yesterday,
And want to live it once more,
With only you by my side.
My love,
This you bring to me.
Let our days spin,
Like the spokes of a wheel,
A perfect circle
Around it's hub,
Two hearts,
Become one,
At our centre
Merging,
Fusing,
United in spirit,
Welded together
In a deep,
But silent
Communion,
An unspoken answer,
To a secret prayer.

So - the time arrives - first I have two days in Jersey, I fly back to Heathrow Sunday evening - I'm being hidden away at a friend's house while I wait for my flight late on Monday. Getting off the bus from the airport in my local town where my friend is to meet me - who should go sailing by in her car? Yes - my wife. Fortunately I had made myself invisible as I stepped off the bus.
Many messages to write before I go - last minute things. Flight day - final communication is via an internet terminal at Heathrow - then on to the plane, although I do manage a brief SMS message exchange with - I forgot, I haven't told you her name yet - Mayen - while waiting at Hong Kong.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 4 - Arrival

Journey 3

I decide to keep a journal of my adventure, so here is some of that journal - accompanied by photographs and some of the poems written before we had met - but I assure you that these dreams are all coming true - and I do believe in miracles.

I knew in an instant,
When I first saw your face,
What more can time achieve?
I do not need that space -
It merely makes a place for fear,
For un-answerable questions.
I cannot get much closer here,
My heart knows its direction.
If all the pages
Of every book
Described you to perfection,
It still would only take one look
To win my soul's affection.

DAY ONE

The first flight was a struggle - keeping it together emotionally & physically - stuck in my seat for 12 hours - I felt at times like a force fed battery hen might feel - no excercise - I did little stretchy movements regularly and meditated, which dipped into sleep occasionally but kept me reasonably calm and centred - despite the whirlpool of thoughts circling around inside my head.

Mayen and I had a brief exchange of text messages while I was waiting at Hong Kong - until she realised that I was still "roaming" on my cellphone - they stopped abruptly.

The second flight introduced me to Philippine food for the first time and my neighbour on the plane - a Filipina returning home from Sweden.

Finally stepping off the plane in Manila - the heat, the humidity - just incredible - like walking in to a hot shower room. Gradually getting used to this - changing gear dramatically - collecting baggage and all the other airport formalities were painless. Through all this, despite surrendering to destiny, having tired of chasing my thoughts any more - there was one sole preoccupation throughout my entire being - meeting Mayen.

Eventually I find the airport arrivals greeting area - a cacophony of car horns and police whistles, crowds of people, straining at the barriers, bustling and shuffling to catch sight of their loved ones - the culture shock was immediate. Again that recurring phrase appeared in my mind "What am I doing?"

After a couple of cellphone calls and about an hour waiting, there is a flurry of girls approaching me - Mayen - chaperoned by two of her friends - just over two months since it all began - my first real glimpse - aware for the first time of her young, small frame and the vibrancy of her personality, smiling, gleaming from every pore - and that hair - that luxurious wavy hair.

Our mutual delight was still evident, although mixed with other feelings - relief, overbearing excitement and the surreal - meeting someone you feel so close to although you have never met physically. It was holding hands, lots of wonderful smiles and kisses, gripping me tight and leading me like a blind man to our driver "dadda" - Marivien and Miss Ann sharing the passenger seat in the front - my heart was pumping with love and desire for Mayen - I was engulfed with such strong, natural love for this girl - there was no ice to break between us - it was all instantly melted to water - I felt what I have felt all along for Mayen - now she was right next to me, my arm around her shoulder in the back of a cab - as we all danced through the late night traffic - looking for a money changer - something I had overlooked at the airport in my eagerness - despite the offer from a couple of security guards to change my money. [Yeah - into thin air probably.]

We arrived at the hotel and I checked in - unsure of what was going to happen for the rest of the night, although it was very late by this time - my flight had landed at 10:30 pm. I photographed the hotel and Mayen with her friends viewed the rooms for me, kindly choosing one that was away from the traffic noise. We arranged to meet in the reception next morning - deciding that it would be a good idea to get some rest - we hugged, said a farewell and Mayen left the hotel with her friends and went back to her room - suddenly - I was on my own.
At the end of day one I slept like a log.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 5 - In her hands

Journey 4

DAY TWO

I wake, shower and go down stairs for breakfast. Mayen appears shortly afterwards - this is strange - we didn't talk much last night in all the excitement.
I am completely in her hands at the moment - not knowing a thing about this new land - but we are happy people - about to have our first whole day together.

We spend most of today tasting a variety of transportation - taxi cabs, metered/unmetered, with or without air-con, jeepneys, motorised tricycles - in an effort to find somewhere to change my traveller's cheques. Ended up going to Makati - trusty, fiesty Mayen by my side, holding the money for the cabs - negotiating good deals - getting more and more exasperated at her fellow countrymen - treating "foreigner" here like the Golden Goose - the penultimate taxi driver typifying the bad deal - unmetered, no air-con, challenging us for a healthy tip even before we start - he took a "short cut" through shanty town, the squatters in the fishermens village - crowded, narrow, rust coloured streets - we made sure the doors were locked - the cab showing more and more signs of something terminally wrong with it - eventually giving up completely in a gas station - the driver pouring buckets of water over the engine to cool it down - hood up - we were told to find another cab. I don't think we gave him his healthy tip.

[Here again, my detractors have really tried to make a meal out of me using "Golden Goose" - an innocent enough phrase - surely preferable to the phrase I hear later in this adventure "Fat White Monkey."
Unfortunately, it is an inescapable reality - it is not a posture one has to assume - it is presumed by many who see "foreigner" - that here is an opportunity to "up" the going rate. It is an undeniable truth - proving anyone who cares to argue this point has either never been to the Philippines - or that they are a liar - trying to conceal the truth behind their words.]

During the day I broke a tooth on some hard pork we had for lunch [I had heard that the Filipinos loved their food - what an understatement!] We shopped for a SIM card for my cellphone to lessen the expense of texting. Sat outside in the new and enormous Mall of Asia, on the Baywalk - drinking coffee.

We go to Mayen's room in the early evening - she takes a shower - a simple room, rented for her by the firm she works for, and shared with her work colleagues occasionally - a bed, a water cooler, electric fan, rice cooker, basic kitchen utensils, clothes neatly folded in a large suitcase type bag, a bed for guests folded alongside the dining table and chairs. This is a small, hot room. I go outside for a cigarette while Mayen showers - waiting on the stairs as I prepare my roll up - the door of the room at the bottom of the stairs opens - out steps a girl dressed in just a slip carrying some freshly washed item of clothing to hang on the drying rails - seeing me lurking there on the stairwell, she apologises and - embarrassed, disappears straight back inside her room. I go out beyond the gate for a smoke. A grubby and almost skinny white cat of Siamese variety lounges on top of the perimeter wall - the security guard lounges on a plastic chair just inside the entrance to this little compound.
We then go to Mayen's "homebase" as she calls it - the sales office and greet her friends and colleagues.

Our first full day together - hand in hand - as close as two bodies can be - growing, expanding in our love and trust for each other. We all went for a meal together at East 19 [I think it was called] overlooking Victoriana housing project, with lightning flashing all around on the horizon - but a fresh breeze blowing.

My cellphone doesn't like the heat. I love Mayen so completely, so deeply - I am changing.

Unto the four winds did I shout your name,
And kept alight that sacred flame
Before the altars of Sun and Moon,

Underneath a vault of stars,
I offered prayer, that Oh, so soon,
Our eyes could share and know the same.

So simple, yet, now plain to see,
I know no more, no less of thee
Than I imagine, stars of me,

Who dwell a hundred lifetimes hence,
Who's light and sight I only sense
From long ago, when present tense.

Accuse me of idolatry,
Of worshipping a beam,
My faith, alone for company,

To temper, so would seem,
The steel of my temerity,
The colour of my dream,

All is unknowing, no consolation,
Save for the glowing
Of a new constellation.

After this first full day together, I get a bad case of the blues - having to say goodnight - I give Mayen the perfume that I bought her. After she had left me, I sent her a text saying that I wished I was her teddy bear - I spotted it earlier on her bed in her room.
Flick through the channels on the TV. I am growing to detest the world as it is portrayed in the media - so unreal. I doze off in bed for a few hours - but I am disturbed by a dream - cannot sleep any more - so I dress and go outside the hotel for a cigarette.
I rolled one for the security guard - he'd never tried a roll up with liquorice paper - he enjoyed it. I was surprised at the activity on the highway - colourful jeepneys, plying their trade.

Crammed with, amongst others, many immaculately uniformed schoolchildren, dilligently, serenely and with great humility - boarding to get to school on time. Now this was 4.30 in the morning! Schools open at 6.30 - yes there are different "shifts" so to speak - but go on until 4.00pm. That's a ten hour day.

I sometimes feel ashamed at the respect, near to reverence that I am shown by these sweet people, so beautiful [but I am reminded later - in fact Sir Francis uses these very words - that there are many "snakes" as well.] Me, lurking, trapped behind the disguise of money - courtesy of the exchange rate and appalling standard of living here. The illusion of wealth is all fake - I don't do anything consciously - it is assumed for me by those who see "foreigner."

I awoke this morning from a vivid dream. A black man, doing some menial labour had developed a deformed foot from the constant repetition of his task with the appliance provided for him - he pleaded with his boss for a moments rest. The boss, unseen, just a voice - but distinctly an unsavoury type of person replied "That's one less bone for you then!"
In my dream I was moved to such depths of pity for the man's suffering, I reached into my soul and found healing powers, felt God running through my fingertips as I massaged the man's foot back into shape - to the amazement of us both.
[At this point in writing, everything welled up inside of me, all the relief, the love, the emotions of this dream - I could not continue writing and broke down into a great sobbing in my hotel room.]

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 6 - Taal Lake

Journey 5

DAY THREE

When I meet you
Face to face,
For a moment or two,
I'll shut my eyes,
Breath deeply
Into my heart,
The knowing,
The comfort,
The love
That lives there,
Flick through memories,
And paint my eyes
With the colours
I have seen you wear,
Dip into the
Refreshing waters
Of a pool
Already overflowing.
Our company
Already shared,
To love you
I've already dared.
I've come to meet
You from without,
Yet reach you still
Within.
And soul will greet
Another soul,
As close
As they have always been.

Not sleeping too well after my strange dream - I was woken by the phone - Mayen was obviously already in reception - we had arranged to meet for breakfast.
My goodness, I was so pleased to see Mayen again - we greeted like old friends, close lovers. After breakfast we retired to room 304 - I had a shower - and we just hung around in the room - I had the occasional doze.

The latter end of the morning - via tricycle - jeepney - we found an air-con van that would drive us to Tagaytay and Taal lake - the site of a volcano.
The driver, Elmer, after all the other passengers had left the van, was ours for the rest of the day - all the Tagalog chat that had taken place between him and Mayen was her negotiating a fee.
As we approached the high ground - essentially the rim of the giant crater - it started to rain, very heavily - and any good views down to the lake disappeared in mist, so we stopped at a small roadside cafeteria for food and rest.

First we were persuaded, by a street seller who had followed us inside, to buy and taste Espasol - a sort of powder covered jelly, made from coconuts and rolled in paper wraps - hmm - a little tasty, but disappointing really - next, a large pot of Bula - a big joint of pork in soup. After a strangely sweet cup of coffee, the rain seems to be stopping - back into the van - climbing up again, we find - a Starbucks - yeah!

A very good view of the lake, the top deck of the place is open - good - a smoke and coffee with chocolate cake - with the woman I love and am going to marry - perfect.

Many text messages going on - back and forth - I get to speak to Mayen's boss on the phone - Sir Francis. He's very kindly offered us his services for a day out - he'll take us to see the Tierra Maria Farm Estate housing project and maybe a beach if we'd like - we agree that will be Saturday.

How kind, I thank him very much - Mayen and I do much talking. She really appreciates having such a "kind, humble man" for a boss.

Picking up Elmer and the van we drive back to Manila - en route stopping for some Buko pie [again from coconuts - again very disappointing] some fresh mangos and pineapples. We put them in the fridge at homebase and go out for an evening meal after showering at the hotel - together.

The chinese restaurant was just in the process of closing up for the night, but they served us - we did not finish the food and it was wrapped up in plastic bags for us to take away - Mayen - ever thoughtful - wanted to take it for her work colleagues (her closest friends really) to eat the next day.

Now - this morning, walking to catch the tricycle, Mayen looked at me and said, quite simply "Timmy, I will sleep with you tonight - I missed you last night," quite matter of fact.
Needless to say, the effect those words had on my heart, mind and body were immediate and very pronounced - I had to adjust my shoulder bag to continue walking without embarrassment.

I had not anticipated, nor had I any expectations of physical love - slumbering dreams yes, that I had dared not awaken - but I had never dwelt on the thoughts. We had never discussed this, nor, I hope, will we - it flows from the soul - it accompanies my love for her - a deep and intrinsic part of the whole of my feelings for her - and completes the perfection of finding my soulmate.

I shan't go into details here - we showered before bed - very gently, supremely tenderly, my whole being overflowing with joy - we let our passions slowly rise and rise - deeper and deeper we reached into our hearts - I had come home - I cannot express how wonderful it was to be living my dream - to perfectly act out the scenes etched upon my heart. It was a long, hot night - continually returning to drink from each other's tenderness.
My heart wide open.
Never before in my entire life have I experienced such utter bliss, such a fullness of being human. Eventually after a light sleep, we rose for breakfast.

Like a church, a quiet place,
To you, my heart fondly returns,
To where I feel that flow of Grace,
The peace my soul so dearly yearns,
A comfort, an oasis found
Upon life's choking, dusty road,
Where waters cool and clear abound,
And disappears my heavy load.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 7 - Shopping

Journey 6

DAY FOUR

Lips close around a lover's seal,
Much more than just a kiss,
And doors in hearts
Swing open wide,
Secure and safe in this,
Souls escape and flying high,
Free as birds inside the breath,
They rise to meet,
In a long moment of play
With their own reflection,
Absorbing the warmth of another sun,
Sharing, knowing another love.
Two spirits, dancing as one,
Lost in the clouds of ecstasy.
To some, maybe, it's just a kiss.
But you and me, I pray,
Such bliss.

We went shopping - Mayen wanted to buy presents for her family - we were going to fly south to her province later in the week.

OK, before we go into the "golden goose" theory - I know all about that - and now I have seen, first hand, the desperate poverty here as well - it is cruel - really hard for people. Mayen, on our first day, calmly walked into a shoe shop and bought herself some new slippers [posh flip-flops] with my money - I'd given her control of it - hadn't worked out quite what it was worth - she enjoyed the feeling of having money for a change - I enjoyed the feeling of generosity - what is mine is hers. Making a peso here and there is as instinctive as breathing. Amidst all the religious slogans pasted everywhere, their faith is a sugar coating for the very bitter pill they consume daily, just scratching a living.
But - with exceptions of course - they are wonderful, sweet and joyful - bahala na - they would say - I love the country and the people - Mayen I would die for. I didn't enjoy feeling like the golden goose, nor did I wallow about in my new found role as benefactor, courtesy of the exchange rate - I am all too well aware of my own struggle back in the UK - all relationships are a trade off in some respect - I don't mind this one tiny bit - I am hopelessly, divinely in love and Mayen is a wonderful, kind, bright, humorous girl, full of joy despite her struggles - and I don't doubt the genuine love she has for me - it's just in her terms, through her eyes - as much as she is the answer to my prayer, I am the answer to hers.

Shopping here is an unbelievable experience. Due to the struggle for employment and the horrendously low minimum wage [£3.00 per day!] stores are hopelessly overstaffed - by devoted, conscientious and stunningly beautiful and courteous employees - desperate to cling on to their jobs. Nothing is too much trouble - everything is folded, packed in a meticulous way - and all with such a genuine smile - it's amazing.

We bought baby socks for a new family addition - baby shoes - there's a baptism happening, but poor Mayen will miss it - accompanying me back to Manila - she has to resume her work. Chocolate - very expensive - lots of chocolate, T shirts for a brother's birthday. I already had some gifts for mum and dad - some perfume and cologne.
I was touched earlier to see Mayen, in her room, sort through all of her clothes - hard earned - to find what she no longer needed - to pass on to her sisters or nieces.

Bought a new battery for my cellphone - you can probably get anything in Manila - every nook and cranny outside the big SM malls is crammed with every conceivable type of shop, work shop, repair shop - everyone scratching a living in their own little niche market - and working hard as well.

We had lunch in the open air on a deck of the mall - Gerry's - it was the franchise owner's birthday - some of the staff were partying outside as well - I made the mistake of ordering a "western" dish - a club sandwich - it was awful compared to the succulent, fresh food that Mayen ordered - of course there was enough to go round - a delicious Buko Pandan - lime jelly, condensed milk and scrapings of fresh Buko (young coconut flesh) Masarap! a word I think I got to use more than any other - delicious!.

Did I hand you the key to my heart?
Or, maybe you saw it lying there -
Mostly buried in the mud?
One lucky reflection,
Shiny serendipity,
Glinting in the sun light,
Catching your eye.
Or have you always owned that key?
Just how old is destiny?
To me, an eternal mystery.
And just what is it I feel
As my heart begins to open?
A burning desire -
To love you,
A desire I allow
To consume me
With it's heat,
A flame to be protected
But never fully enclosed,
Never denied liberty,
The oxygen
That keeps it bright.
Hope -
To dream with
Through the night,
Hope -
That rises
With every new dawn.
Faith -
That lock and key
Together should be.
Faith -
That one is you,
The other - me.
But wisdom reminds me -
There are no guarantees
That do not extinguish,
There is no security
That does not dim,
No mechanism
That might not seize,
A grape may shrivel
On the vine.
For love is alive -
It breaths -
It moves -
And glitters with
Ever changing brilliance -
It fascinates -
It lures -
It listens -
As free as the wind -
It does not like restrictions -
To be clothed in
Anything smaller
Than it's universal size.
Gentle yet strong,
Master yet servant,
Free yet full of need,
Destination and journey.

No pictures from this day - in the afternoon we travelled north to Quezon City to visit Mayen's sister there (she has sisters in a lot of other places as well.) We used the MRT [Manila Metro Rail Transit System.] Very hot, humid - noisy - we strayed into an area of the platform reserved for children, women, disabled, or aged - the guard blew his whistle at us and we toed the yellow line waiting for the train - which was air-conditioned. It was a relief to get on board. Travelling almost the entire length of the route we got out at Quezon City and hailed a cab to take us to the house.

The sister, Adelaide, embarrassed and giggly - with two children - Precious and Vincent, ushered me in to the house to sit down. I was privately bewildered and amazed to see an array of all sorts of general household goods hanging around, as if on display - cards full of small shampoo sachets, plastic tubs full of lolipops, cans of this, packets of that. Were they into smalltime crime I wondered, lightheartedly? Shoplifting?
Then I became aware of a plastic chicken wire grill covering the window facing the street.
The explanation for all these goods - this was some sort of shop. A concept I had not come across before is that every street has it's sari-sari store - it means "almost anything" - where the children come for the treat of some sweets and the neighbourhood can get all the things that you run out of at inconvenient moments.

I chatted to the neighbour from across the road, who was just emerging from the enclosure in which his prize fighting-cock was held. They're into that in a big way - but mercifully I didn't see any of the fights - just heard and saw the cockerels - especially hearing them in the mornings - it was like a call to prayer - crowing near and far - summoning people into the day. We sat ouside the store front under the awning - in the warmth of the early evening. Dusk happens very early here - it can be dark by 7.30 pm even in July. The neighbour told me that he had a Baldwin piano in his house - nowadays it wasn't played and it was rather the worse for wear because of the rats.
He knew Mayen well as she had lived here with her sister for a while when she first arrived in Manila seeking work - he confided in me that she came from a good family - she was a good girl. Travelling the 2 hour route we had just taken became too much and so Mayen left here and moved into her present room.

As we ate our delicious evening meal that the sister had prepared - a chicken stew and rice - masarap - the husband, Audie, returned home from work. He was an "FX" driver - [a chunky four wheel drive vehicle for hire as a taxi cab.]
We chatted briefly and then, after his day of exsertion at the wheel, very kindly offered to drive us both back to the MRT station.

Exiting the railway system at Magallanes (Manila) we immediately became embroiled in the evening rush hour - this was about 9.00 pm - the traffic was horrendous - fumes filling the air, stinging the eyes and throat, car horns creating a wall of sound - chaos - but the daily chaos here - a long line of busses blocking the traffic as they waited to fill up with passengers - jeepneys, tricycles all stopping and starting as they passed us - hoping to pick up the foreigner - we eventually got into an air-con cab and sat out the traffic in relative comfort.

That evening, already fed, we retire early to the hotel room - both feeling rather tired from the days travelling about. We wrap ourselves around each other in the heat - with the room air-con left on all night - a sound that reminded me of the ocean.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 8 - Day with Sir F

Journey 7

DAY FIVE

We meet Sir Francis after our breakfast - breakfast is a strange affair - "Korean or American?" we are asked, "Coffee or juice?"
Korean is - rice, an assortment of fishy things, a salad - I tended to go for American, which was - rice, a sausage or leg of cold chicken on alternating days, a salad, a fried egg. But the staff at the hotel [part of a Korean chain of hotels] are so respectful - bowing to us upon our appearance - always a cheerful smile.

We meet at the homebase - I meet his colleague George Mendoza - [responsible for the edited photograph of Mayen - which appeared on her profile at DIA] - a big time broker and we all discuss the possibility of me setting up a website in the UK as an outlet for Tierra Maria Estates - strangely echoing thoughts I had much earlier when contemplating Mayen coming to the UK.

After a couple of hours drive in Sir Francis's 4 x 4 we arrive at Lipa City, the town just outside which is the housing project.

It took me a while to understand all this project business - and it was kindly explained to me on the journey as we listened to a double CD of Cliff Richard - the simple lyrics tugging at my heart strings. I was missing being close to Mayen - she was only on the back seat - and occasionally I would reach around behind my seat to give her a gentle foot massage - often turning round and blowing kisses.

The Americans redistributed the land after Spanish colonisation. It was broken up into subdivisions of titled property lots - mostly farm or agricultural land. Roads were built and houses, shops, churches, motor repairs etc. sprang up alongside these roads, mainly in a single line, behind which is agricultural land or forest.

The Islands are split up into Provinces, regions, Cities & Municipalities, which in turn are split up into Barangays or Barrios and houses are built upon subdivisions of land within these areas. Housing projects are springing up all over the place as the Philippines undergoes a rapid transformation and development. They consist of lots of land - cleared or uncleared of forest - laid out with roads and utilities such as water, electricity and telephone.

The purchasers usually make their own arrangements to have a house built to their specification upon the land, conforming to the guidlines of that particular project. The newer projects are often very pronounced affairs, enclosed behind perimeter walls with grand entrance gates, security, sometimes with a clubhouse and communal pool.

The Tierra Maria Estate is slightly different in that it is designed to appeal to those who are interested in residential or backyard farming - fruit, vegetables or aquaculture and as such it is a stipulation that each individual house may only occupy up to 25% of the total lot area. The land is thick with coconut palms, some very old trees and coffee trees producing a special coffee only grown there.

As we drove around to a commentary from Sir Francis - I fired off many questions - and sat with a board on my lap - a large map of the whole site, with coloured pins marking the sold or unsold lots.

The site's developer, a cousin of Sir Francis, is a very religious man - hence the name of the project - Ground of Maria - Mary's Ground - and statues of the Virgin Mary are erected in the grounds. There is a meditation park - it's all very lush, fresh and peaceful. Marketed towards retiring people, or as second homes or investment.

tierra maria website

After the tour we go into the town for lunch. Sir Francis thinks I will enjoy Crispy Pata - he was right - masarap! - a delicious meal of a large, deep fried knuckle of pork with crispy skin - with rice - a buko shake - followed by a coffee. Lots of good conversation - so good in fact - we go outside for a smoke and then climb in the car preparing to drive off - until Mayen shouts from the back, seeing the waiter come running after us waving the bill.

Should destiny thus intertwine
To rise as one, like tree and vine,
So tightly coiled in life's embrace
That even death may not efface,
Willingly I, at heaven's door,
Would surrender my fear,
Seeing clear once more
That fate and my heart,
For many a year
Held too far apart,
Now, at last, may keep apace,
And seek together the sky above,
Seeing forever through eyes of love.

We drive off to a rather exclusive and secluded beach resort -

Sir Francis with Mayen at the Virgin Beach Resort.

virgin beach resort website

We arrive at the resort after driving for about an hour - security let us through the makeshift barrier and park up. Wow - photographs - what a scene - tranquil - idylic - white sand, sea, mountains in the background behind us.

Tasteful but simple constructions - a bar - parasols along the beach [wooden hutches, roofs of coconut matting, mosquito netting for the walls - to spend a peaceful night in.] The entrance fee is waived - we only want to sit and relax and refresh for a couple of hours. Paradise just gets better and better - the generosity of Sir Francis, to spend the whole day with us - so kind - he is a good man.

Driving back to Manila, we are both tired - I am not so talkative and we both manage to doze off at some point or other. It's Saturday so the traffic is not at all bad - but it's already dark by the time we arrive.

We visit Mayen's home base, say a farewell to Sir Francis, thanking him for his splendid generosity and meet up with Marivien, Alberto and later on Miss Ann joins us for a giant pizza -

followed by the pineapples purchased on the way back from Taal lake - which I was taught by Alberto how to prepare.

You may be wondering, like I did, why we seem to spend so much time at their place of work - the home base. The answer is quite simple.
To enjoy the comfort of air-conditioning.

Suddenly it occurs to us that we really should start thinking about booking our flight to Tacloban, the capital city of Leyte - another Island. [Mayen's province, Pintuyan, lies on Panaon island at the very southern tip of Southern Leyte. Actually, Pintuyan is a Municipality within the Province of Southern Leyte - but the word province is also used to mean - in the countryside - outside of the big metropolitan areas like Manila.] Zoomable map of the Philippines

Good job we do - thanks to Miss Ann who mans the telephone and makes enquiries at Cebu Pacific Airlines - we learn that the only flight not fully booked for the entire week is tomorrow [Sunday.] Miss Ann books us onto the Sunday afternoon flight - she is very organised and competent - and we start to discuss all the preparations we need to make. We return to the hotel and start to pack our bags - only what we will need in the province.

After missing each other the whole day - not being physically close - our reunion in the hotel room is warm and passionate. We sleep early - ahead of a busy day.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 9 - To Leyte

Journey 8

DAY SIX

Light and shadow, equally,
Can show how much I feel for thee -
Love's just begun,
But there is pain -
One brings the sun,
The other, rain,
Yet both allow my heart to see
How precious you've become to me.

A busy day - I'll keep it all brief. Breakfast - taxi driver doesn't show up, despite Mayen texting him the night before, so we hail one from the kerbside. Tata - the beginning of quite a morning with Tata - we have to be at the Cebu Pacific office before ten o'clock to collect and pay for the tickets.

Queue - we are number 19 - the counter is showing No 82 a long wait ahead - a kind man holding a young child gives us his ticket that he no longer needs for some reason - No 6 - aha - things are looking up. Later on Mayen gives our old ticket to a latecomer in the queue. Mayen is besotted by a beautiful little girl sitting astride her father's shoulders - maternal instincts coming right to the surface - we keep seeing this couple for the rest of the day. Collect the ticket - rejoin Tata who takes us to the duty free shopping mall.
Quite a lot of security - we buy some Fundador brandy for Mayen's father - I get some tobacco - the brand is called Domingo - and it's Sunday today - we look at some rings - I said I'd buy Mayen a ring - a token - there are not too many to choose from but we both like one depicting two intertwining hearts - but I've not enough cash and can't draw any more - so that idea gets put aside for a while.

Tata drives us back to the hotel - we check out [I've already booked the room again for Thursday night - our last night together - I don't want to think about that] - load our bags.
The other taxi driver shows up out of the shadows and really annoys Mayen by insisting on being paid for waiting for us - cheek - to get rid of him Mayen pays him - she is really upset to observe again her fellow countrymen trying their hardest to squeeze every peso out of her when they see her with me, presuming that I am rich - well it's only the exchange rate that makes me rich over here - I am not rich, only lucky - so lucky - in that sense I'm rich beyond imagination.

Tata drives us to the Festival Shopping Mall, in the same compound as the duty free shop - but first we drive via Mayen's room - deposit all we don't need for the trip - take some clothes to the laundry right alongside - and deposit Mayen's keys back at homebase for the other girls to be able to use the room. Tata crawls along back to the main road as we are still looking for a jewellery shop. No luck - we head off for lunch.
Tata joins us - noodles, banana shake - Masarap! - then off to the airport.

The experience of Manila Airport - the domestic terminal - it's hot and crowded - queue to get inside - first security check - queue to check in - queue to pay terminal fee - queue for second security check - the brandy is not allowed in our hand luggage - Argh!
What do we do? Sell it to one of the staff? No, we head back to the check in going straight to the front of the queue - they take it in the hold with all the chocolates - I hope they survive the journey - back for another security check with "Haven't I seen you before?" looks from the guards and into the waiting lounge. A chance to cool off in the only area so far with adequate air-con.
Great teams of airline support girls chat away behind their desks - again - overstaffing - but it's still a gentle chaos. The flight is twenty minutes late - but eventually we land in the relative peace on the Island of Leyte at Tacloban airport.
Very small scale compared to Manila. The chocolate and brandy have survived.

We are greeted by an airport taxi driver, employed by Cathay Pacific airline - there are no cabs in the city - only tricycles and jeepneys. The girl sitting next to Mayen on the flight suggested we try the Manhattan Hotel in Tacloban so we ask the driver, Ado, to take us there. All across the Philippines there are 3 main dialects as well as Tagalog, the language that is trying to establish itself from Manila outwards as a national language. Here of course, on the Island where Mayen was born, Ado speaks the same dialect - to her delight. The city outskirts are more open than Manila - there are some green spaces evident and it is generally more tranquil.

The Manhattan dates from around the 1930's and has not been kept in good condition. There are no lifts and the marble staircase contains a trick step, which gets you going both up or down if you forget that it is larger than any of the other steps. Funny how we quickly adapt to the rhythm of climbing equally spaced steps.

Our room 316 is a very odd shape - and seems to be occupied already - by a large family of ants. The room is on the corner of the hotel building and overlooks a busy crossroad. The shower works - but is more of a gush than a sprinkle - it reminded me of a female elephant having a piss. One of the lights doesn't work - the shaving socket and sink are in the shower cubicle when the curtain is drawn - the towels are thread bare and a dismal grey colour - but once they were white. We take it all in our stride - the other hotels in town are fully booked - the same reason that the flights were all booked - there is a big Fiesta in the area and many people have headed home from their places of work to attend it next weekend. I draw the curtain back to peer through the dirty window - dirty glass in iron framed sections - stained glass - by many years of grime.
Just about to take a photo of the busy street scene outside and the curtain rail topples down, smothering Mayen and me in the curtain. The room boy, still in attendance procures a quick fix and I get to take my photo as he turns on the ancient air-con unit.

Two single beds - we will only use the one. We shower in turn behind the elephant and emerge into the street in search of some food stuffs to take with us to the province - Mayen is very concerned about what I will eat - I'm still very vague as to what I shall find down there - I know it is very remote and Mayen has warned me that it will be different from anything I expect.

We hail a tricycle. You never have to wait long at all for a motor-tricycle. Sitting in the covered side-car, either forward facing - or sometimes there are extra seats at the rear, facing backwards - or sat side-saddle behind the rider - or sometimes all occupied at once - it is quite thrilling - the engine rasping away alongside - it's very snug - and you're at just the correct height above the ground to help clean up some of the traffic fumes - by breathing them in.

It starts to rain and we wander into what must be a first generation department store - no way could you really call it a mall, although it passes as such here in Tacloban. There is a strange smell that bites at the back of the throat.
The cause soon becomes apparent - again - overstaffing at work. In an effort to keep the linoleum floors clean for their customers - 3 boys are shuffling around the narrow aisles between the tightly packed shelves, sprinkling bleached water - from a pail each is carrying - onto the floors using their hands - it's all highly rhythmic and choreographed - followed by another three boys - swooshing along with mops - to join the dance - followed by another three boys wafting it dry with great sheets of cardboard.
This procession gradually snakes its way around the store as we decide to leave and go for something to eat.

Mayen really misses the food of her province and now she has arrived here on the island of Leyte is determined to make up for lost time.

She orders a stunning array of local food - a seashell soup, seaweed salad, crab, mangos, buko shakes - masarap!
Unfortunately this all gives me a very dodgy tummy in the night - some Imodium needed first thing in the morning - but the food is delicious and leaves you feeling good - as if you've just done your body a favour - all be it a brief one in my case.

Back to the hotel - another shower and sleep.
Both of us high on the spirit of adventure - somehow - we are entering the old Philippines now - and it is so irrepressible - so intoxicating. We decide on the bed near to the window. It's a noisy night - tricycles, jeepneys - a procession band in the early hours of the morning waking us up. Passion follows in the din, the air-con droning away - quite ineffectually - and we just lie there listening to the world waking up - so happy, laughing at the oddity of the hotel compared to the luxury we were used to at the Grami, back in Manila.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 10 - To the Barrio

Journey 9

DAY SEVEN

The first thing after my shower I go to the Mercury Drugstore just across the road for some Imodium for my stomach.
They sell tablets individually - not everyone can afford to buy complete packets - so I bought four - and some fresh milk. I noticed as I was weaving through the traffic crossing the road that Mayen, with a towel wrapped around her head, was peeping out of the hotel window at me to see if I was safe - I waved at her. Had a cigarette outside the hotel soaking up the hubbub of the hot morning.

We checked out of the hotel.
I thought that our original plan was to get a cab to the bus terminal and find a bus that would take us as far as Mayen's province - but all the dialect going on in the cab was Mayen negotiating with Ado to drive us all the way - and she had arranged for him to come and pick us up and return us to the airport on the Thursday. So we loaded our bags into Ado's cab and he drove us off to the Tacloban branch of McDonalds - McDoh as they call it - for breakfast.

Still rather cautious of how my stomach was feeling I ordered something safe - rice, egg, Longganisa (or something vaguely meaty) and coffee.

We purchased some oranges and Fuji apples outside on the steps - drove off to visit a grocery store for water and provisions for our stay.

After this we headed off for the very south of the Island - first taking a slight detour to see the San Juanico bridge - a very long structure that joins the island of Samar to the island of Leyte.

Zoomable map of the Philippines

The journey to Pintuyan takes us about three hours with stops for photos. We wind through the small villages and communities scattered about the mountainous terrain, travelling south - always lush with some stunning scenery.

We eventually cross the small Wawa bridge connecting mainland Southern Leyte to Panaon Island - a small island of only four municipalities: Lilo-an, Pintuyan, San Ricardo and San Fransisco.
The island suffered dreadfully in recent years with whole barrios being swept away by severe landslides with great loss of life.
There is now a new road that sweeps over the bridge and continues down the island - almost finished - but ever improvising - the hot white concrete surface is already used to dry coconuts for the copra trade - every so often we had to drive around a great swathe of drying coconut halves.

The view from Wawa bridge, named after the serious whirlpools that occur in the channel between - Panaon Island on the left - Southern Leyte on the right.

Mayen on the Wawa bridge - behind her is Southern Leyte. There are no taxis here on the island - hardly any cars - the transport is motorcycle - or habal-habal - a motorcycle with an extended rear seat. Our first port of call is at Mayen's sister's house where we will be staying.

We are greeted by Susana, Mayen's mother - I notice the local greeting - bringing the offered hand up to touch the forehead - and the many members of Mayen's close and extended family - though not all - some are at the baringay - we are in the municipality of Pintuyan at the moment - some are travelling from other islands to arrive later - and one brother, I learn, is still missing at sea - now for 3 or 4 years - he failed to return home after a storm as he was out fishing on his own at night - leaving behind a wife and two children - both girls, who live in the baringay in Mayen's family house together with two other brothers, one who is "bakla" - gay - and walks around the house with a padded bra [I think] and a dress - it is just accepted here that some are born to be "bakla" - Mayen tells me she was the first to notice this when he would always prefer to play with her dolls - altogether, a confusing multitude of people - I will take a long time to learn who is who and even longer to become familiar with their names.
I am quizzed briefly by Mayen's mother about my intentions for her daughter - have I any children? - she is eventually happy, satisfying herself that I am a good man - I am to stay good.

Once we had settled in, said adios to Ado, we were driven 3 up on a motorcycle to the barangay - to the family house, where I met Mayen's father, we were joined by his only brother, Mayen's uncle, the widow of the lost brother, another brother and Mayen's sister in law and a variety of children, suckling babies, a bewildering assortment of family members.

I am being stared at constantly - veiwed as an oddity, a celebrity even - & worryingly - a source of money. They are so poor here but have peace, abundant food - coconuts, papayas, mangos, bananas, fish - a veritable harvest from the ocean - and a way of life, uncomplicated and unchanged for many years - apart from superficially.

We visit another house, a few doors along the road, where Mayen's grandmother lives and then we take ourselves off for a walk down through coconut groves to the sea as it starts to rain gently.

We bring with us a fan from the house and eventually find shelter in a hollow underneath the roots of a coconut tree on the shore. Mayen, concerned that I get my shorts dirty on the rock I was about to sit on, as it was covered in ash from a recent fire that someone had lit there, placed the fan down for me to sit on. Of course, we left it behind when we went back to the house.

We talk and talk about our future - Mayen is noticeably happier now she's back at home.

Returning to the family house for the evening meal, I am shocked - considering I had been asked to pay for the feast - that I was only served a meagre chicken wing and a small spoonful of rice - while the others piled in - mostly eating with their hands - to helping after helping - I was frightened by the spectre of the golden goose again - later rationalising that I had just been offered a taster, in case I found it disagreeable. I awaited an invitation for more - as my rapidly emptied plate was signalling a very obvious message - but none came. I soon got the hang of things at meal times - just piling into the food - it was delicious - it was a celebration - a wonderful happy gathering of the tribe, the clan.

A thunderous storm was breaking - the most torrential rain and the loudest booming I had ever heard echoing around the hills.
There is an electronic keyboard tucked up against the wall in the room - really the house is just the one main room - kitchen at one end, dining space in the middle and lounge seating at the entrance by the front door. Other small rooms all adjoin this one, with just a curtain for privacy. The windows have no glass and electric fans try their hardest to cool us.

I decide to ask if I can play the keyboard and discover that Mayen's sister in law is a singer - she used to sing in bars in Manila - so we got going with one or two songs - he, he. I think Mayen was impressed - she likes to sing as well. Oh my goodness how I love that girl.

The storm passes in time for our motorbike ride back to where we are staying - and a mercifully refreshing ride it is, to be blasted and buffeted by the air as we are driven along through the night - dogs asleep on the still warm road surface don't flinch or move out of the way.

We shower before we retire - outside the house I enquire of Mayen if we are sharing the same bed - yes is the answer - but we must keep silent with our passions.
The shower was an open plastic dustbin filled with water at those times of day when it's available - a small plastic saucepan with which to dowse oneself - simple but effective - I notice no toilet paper is available - so it's dowsing all round then - I'll soon get the hang of this.

I help Mayen's mother erect the mosquito net around our bed "Only in the Philippines" she said repeatedly - in an amused tone - we chuckled together. I think that generally there was a feeling of embarrassment, for their skills at speaking English, for the unfinished build quality of their homes and by the overall feeling that I would be comparing it all to the "luxurious" standards of the western world.
Well, to be quite honest, we are spoilt rotten - we don't know half the hardships these people have, we take things so much for granted - all our amenities and facilities and we still are so ready to complain.
This is a really refreshing change - the sort of feeling you get when camping - making do, making the most out of things - they're only superficial things after all - life is about happiness, babies and food - only in the Philippines. Mayen and I get tearful in bed - contemplating that final hour when we have to say goodbye - it is too unbearable - we refuse to think about it - it will just happen in it's own present - bahala na.

THE LOVING CUP

I hold a fragile cup in trembling hands,
Its content, this life's greatest treasure,
Fearful lest one drop be spilled,
The loving cup, once passed, demands
Of care and trust, beyond all measure,
Until each thirsting heart is filled.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 11 - Picnic

Journey 10

DAY EIGHT

Today, after breakfast, a few of us ventured into the Municipality (the town) - just a short walk to where the shops are.

Tasted the local bread in town - there are lots of varieties to choose from - the ones I ate looked like yellowish scones and tasted sweet - masarap!
Walk down to the quay and take a couple of photos.

We were overcharged for the vegetables - Mayen gets upset when we get home - the first time I have seen her cry - I, conceitedly, think that she is upset about us having to part at the end of the week - and try to comfort her - blah, blah - she 's actually fed up with some of her family members trying to fleece the golden goose.

At lunchtime, the nephews and nieces all return home from the local school for an hour and a half - some of them will be absent from school this afternoon.

Mayen had promised that I would get to try a local delicacy - one of her favourite foods - sea urchin - fresh from the sea. I had no idea how fresh - the family had previously arranged with, and paid, a fisherman to collect a great pile of sea urchins, which was strewn amongst the rocks down on the seashore. We were going to have a picnic - Filipino style.

We all trooped off, carrying plastic containers of rice, noodles, a variety of banana which had been baked [tasted more like potato - not sweet at all, just a starchy carbohydrate] and walked down to where the fisherman had deposited the harvest from the sea.

To eat a sea urchin - they were all still alive - their little black spines bristling away - you smash open the top, remove virtually all of the inside leaving behind the strange, sponge like, buff coloured ribs that are lining the inside of the shell. This is the edible part. The whole process stains the fingers a deep red. The taste is unlike anything else - full of Iodine - it tastes very medicinal, slightly salty of course. I tasted the chewy part of a clam that had also been collected - got stuck in, as by now I had learnt to, noodles, rice - the bananas.

All the time out in the hot sun - ignorant of the fact that my feet were gradually getting extremely sunburnt. Mayen hadn't noticed, but advised me to go and sit in the shade - suggesting that I don't sit directly under any of the coconut trees, for obvious reasons. I just got on with photographing the whole happy scene.
I would regret not heeding her advice for the remainder of my trip as my feet got very swollen - at times making it difficult to walk - and attracting even more unusual stares from passers by. "It's alright" I would say "All Englishmen have big, bright red feet."

I didn't write much about today - so I'll let the photographs tell their own story.

I play a little more on the keyboard later on in the day.
After the evening meal, Mayen and I walk down to the sea again - she tells me the story of the night her brother disappeared at sea - she was at school at the time, on another Island when she heard the news - and the valiant attempts of her father, hiring a local pump boat and crew at great expense to scour the coastal regions for any traces.
We just sat there listening to the gentle sound of the ocean.
Back to the house to get our rest and "make babies" - in silence.

There once was a time,
Quite how long ago
I just can't recall.
There once was a man,
And who was he?
I don't know at all.
Some say it was me,
Before I knew you.
All this could be true,
But it escapes me now.
For I cannot imagine,
Or think of how,
There once were days
Without your trace,
A heart without hope,
A dream with no face.
This brand new world's
A far happier place,
And I'm learning to walk,
Hand in hand with Grace.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 12 - Sister arrives

Journey 11

DAY NINE

First thing in the morning, after a shower and breakfast, Mayen and I walk down to the seashore to buy a fish to be prepared for the family later on in the day.
I regret not bringing my camera when I see the big fish, a maja-maja, dead eyes staring at me, mouth open wide, as it is chopped up by the fisherman on a crude table outside.
We return to the house carrying the pieces of fish in a plastic carrier bag, one of its eyes pressed up against the inside of the bag. At least I'll get a photo of this when back at the house, I thought to myself.

While reloading my camera with film - there's some activity going on in the kitchen - Mayen, realising my wish to have taken a photo of the fish has asked the fisherman to come up to the house - there he is, busily reconstructing the pieces of fish on a plate by the kitchen sink. How amenable is that?

After a while we go back to the shore, to the same spot - Mayen's sister, who she stayed with while schooling - was arriving with five of her six children from the island of Mindanao - from the town Surigao, right on the north of the island, not too far away - arriving soon at the quay here by pump boat [a small passenger ferry] travelling over, apparantly, one of the deepest stretches of ocean in the world.

Mayen takes a beautiful photo with my cellphone of two yellow flowers we find lying on the shore - I will find a means to post it here sometime.
We chat and watch armies of termites crawling over the tree above us. Eventually the ferry comes in to view and we head back to the house - this time I have my camera and I pause to take a shot of the fisherman's table.

By the time we arrive back on the road, Mayen spots her sister, Christy, and family already walking past and rushes excitedly to greet them.
I am introduced, my red feet explained, and we walk back to the house with much laughter and happiness.

Wherever Mayen and I go in the Municipality we cause great amusement and arouse the curiosity in the many children we meet and often they just stop and stare at us - we take the liberty of play acting in front of them - dancing in the street - singing.

We arrive back at the house to find "bakla" brother having a pedicure in preparation for his big night from a local woman. She has a busy time, after about three hours solid, sprucing up various family members she suddenly fell to the floor, having a fit. After coming round, having the abrasion on her face tended to and a glass of water, she collected her things and a few pesos for her work and left - staggering and spitting as she disappeared down the road.

It was a fishy day altogether today - at some point in the morning Mayen's father appeared, carrying a small tuna fish.

The clamour of the day, subsided,
I'm surrounded by my own space,
And time stretching out before me.
A crescent moon tonight,
Rising in the western sky,
Needle sharp at each end,
Pricks my mind,
Causing me again to think of you,
Devotion now lies to the east,
My heart, in supplication,
Turns and remembers,
I offer a secret, whispered prayer.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 13 - Bakla basketball

Journey 12

DAY NINE (cont'd)

The magic in your hands,
Bestowed upon you -
A gift that flooded in
With the sunlight
The day you were born -
An abundance of Grace,
That follows your days,
Comforts your nights -
Giving you, you alone -
The power to strip away
My falsehood -
All that is in me
That is not life -
Of life and for life.
You expose my very soul
To the elements of God,
The raging torrent of love,
Cyclones of passion,
Soft clouds,
Billows of tenderness,
All of nature's urgent rainbow,
Heaven's living miracle.
I see new depths,
New pinnacles,
They reveal to me
Your astonishing touch,
You have kissed me
With reality
And shown it to be Divine -
Oh how sure is my prayer,
For you to soon be mine?
Let us light a fire in this world,
A beacon, in a high place,
That others may see,
An everlasting mercy,
How blesséd we may be,
With truth - at last,
Out of disguise,
Life, standing naked
Before us,
Her fragrance, alone
We breath - not masked
By swirls of heady incence -
True riches -
More precious even than gold -
To feel that pulse,
Life's beating heart,
To know and share,
His supremest art within ourselves.
Only the Almighty hand
Could create such a wonder as this,
Finding you,
Joining you,
Becoming one
With only you,
I become one with eternity.

This evening, postponed from an earlier night due to heavy rain - we are to be entertained.
The weekend sees the Barrio Fiesta - when the local saint is honoured and great festivities happen - it is localised to the baringay, the particular area [like a parish] in which the family house is.

Already, along the roadside outside the house, stalls are being set up - and the whole atmosphere is lifting in anticipation. Tonight, Mayen's "bakla" brother has organised a "bakla" basketball tournament in the playground of the small school just down the road, next to the small local chapel. This will be followed by a talent contest - featuring the singing talent of the locals - one of Mayen's nieces is to take part.

I take some photos from outside the chapel where a service is being held, having been attracted there by the singing.

Mayen joins me, accompanied by two of her newly arrived nieces and ushers me in to sit at the back of the chapel for the rest of the service.
We sit down on broken plastic chairs - Mayen invites me to make a donation to the church. I try my best to join in with the Tagalog words projected on to a screen as hymns are sung, but I don't recognise the tunes either. Someone at the front, who I can't see, is playing the accompaniment on an electric guitar - rather well.

After emerging from the service, the whole street is buzzing - I take some photos of children playing in the school playground - they are so happy just entertaining themselves - playing a variety of different games - a delight to watch.

Just outside Mayen's family house a woman has set up a makeshift barbecue out of breeze blocks - I taste the skewered pigs intestine - curiously curly, like a pigs tail - covered in a sweet sauce - it is delicious - very like liver.

We go inside the family house - the three men who were conducting the mass in the chapel are sat down, feasting at the table - underneath a picture of the last supper made from glittery coloured tinfoil, hanging on the wall.
It is local protocol - families take their turn to feed the churchmen.

We sit and wait by the open door for the family meal being prepared in the kitchen - when suddenly the power cuts out - left in darkness - and much muttering - oil lamps and candles are hunted by the light of cellphones - it happens regularly - often during the day when it is shut down for repairs on the line.
The last supper continues by candle light and we go back outside - the festivities won't happen if there is no power - but soon there is a great cheer as the lights all come flooding back on again.

Most of the family is rounded up for a photograph around the dining table.

The basket ball match is arranged to start at 9.00pm. It's dark at around 7.30pm and we usually take our rest around 10.30pm - which is rare for me back home in the UK - and equally rarely - we have been rising with the roosters crowing far and wide soon after dawn.
A natural rhythm - that I would be only too pleased to adopt - sleeping with my loved one - rising to a refreshing shower - I could live here most definitely.

The meal is masarap - a sweet and sour pork dish - with liver, sauces, rice of course - followed by pineapple.

Shortly after the meal we go and take our seats around the edge of the playground - now transformed into a mini stadium - complete with PA system (a sound system borrowed from the house) a karaoke microphone - well it's certainly loud enough to do the job. Music is playing.

Soon the two teams are announced - the individual members parading themselves, with much posing, causing uproarious laughter among the crowd.

My feet are starting to swell up badly - I notice that my ankles have all but disappeared. From the lower shins downwards the look is remarkably like Elephant Man. There is genuine concern from the family.

The basketball itself was hilarious - the high heels of some of the players soon being abandoned - it was taken very seriously indeed by the teams. I learned afterwards that some prize money had been donated by a local sponsor - all arranged by the "bakla" brother - one of the other brothers was referee for the match - they are obviously very involved with their community.

After a long setting up time, the talent contest got under way - the contestants performing on an outdoor stage adjoining the playground - the judges seated themselves on the playground in front.

First there are four junior contestants - including Mayen's niece - then there are four senior contestants.
Mayen's niece sings really well and has a certain "X" factor in her personal charm - I was captivated by her beauty when I first saw her.

She wins the contest I find out the next day - her mum is the singer.
Quite late at night we are driven back by motorcycle to take our rest under the mosquito netting. Our penultimate night together.

From the invisible,
The silence,
From nothing,
The word,
The thought
Gave birth
To this world.
From no place,
Not even darkness,
It sprung,
Not even before.
Then came
A beginning,
For time,
For space.

We are creators,
From the invisible,
From nothing,
Not even before,
We came
To one place,
Together.
Our words,
Our thoughts,
Slowly growing,
Unified,
Our dreams
Of each other,
Tied,
By a knot
Of love.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 14 - To Manila

Journey 13

DAY TEN

Up early - we go for a swim at the place where we bought the fish. The sea is glorious - clear - fish swimming around us - and incredibly warm - the sun still below the crests of the coconut palms.

We cuddle, swim, lots of kissing in the water - we discuss ideas for starting up a business - right here in Pintuyan - it is so beautiful and Mayen would be close to her family - and this beloved place she misses so much, having to work in Manila.

We return to the house - very happy people indeed.

I shower and we pack our bags. Ado arrives from Tacloban after a really early start and we are driven with "mum" in the front passenger seat, in the air-con comfort of the cab to the barrio, where we start the farewell process - Mayen's uncle, her grandmother, the newly arrived sister - we are ushered into the chapel by Mayen's mother where we light candles - she told me to say a prayer to ask that I be allowed to return here. What else could have been in my heart at that moment?

I waited in the shade of a tree for a while, where the cab was parked and chatted and smoked with Ado - we talk about cars, crocodiles - he practiced his English & I roll him one of my liquorice paper cigarettes.

The family adults all gather for a meal -

Mayen has already started discussing our ideas for a business - one of our ideas that we talked about during our swim was to open an air-conditioned supermarket. My initial concern was that we should not be responsible for putting out of business any of the small shops already there - many of which already seemed to be stocking the same sort of goods.

Later on Mayen tells me that she has been discussing business ideas with her father - he suggested to her that one of the better business opportunities in that area is in coconut farming - for the copra business, perhaps I could buy some land for him to administer?
This conversation took place without me being present.

The idea was to purchase a few lots of land, very cheap in this area, they are already populated by mature trees - little upkeep - nature renews the stock every four or five months - little in the way of labour costs for harvesting. Mayen told me that when landowners get into financial difficulties, a loan of money to them - nowhere near the worth of the land - against the title to the property, in default of repayment of the loan within a specified period of time - can mean that sometimes land can be aquired very cheaply indeed.
I must admit - it sounded extremely risky.

I sent some astrology readings to Mayen after our first night of contact - they suggested quite strongly that we would make good business partners - and I see that quite clearly now - Mayen does seem to have a very astute mind for business.

Outside again - I am introduced to a cheerful lady - Lisa - she played the guitar in the chapel yesterday - I shake her hand and tell her how much I enjoyed her playing. We all had a great laugh when I asked if she also did heavy metal or grunge.

After quite an emotional farewell to most of the adults - particularly Mayen's parents - I officially state my intentions to Mayen's father and thank her mother for the welcoming hospitality.

We set off in the taxi - I hear a voice from the front of the cab - I think at first that it is Ado talking in a very strange way but soon realise that it is Mayen's slightly built sister-in-law sitting, completely concealed in front of me. She's getting a lift as far as San Fransisco [I think] - travelling along the road built by the company she presently works for - a Thai-Italian construction consortium. She wants to collect her final wage packet - the road is almost completed and she must find another work contract somewhere.

After dropping her off, the discussion turns seriously to talk of business again - in particular the copra trade - I mention the cost of living back in the UK to try to put any capital that I get from the sale of the house in perspective - it wouldn't go very far there at all -whereas, over here, it could possibly set us up with home and business - with some to spare.

Mayen sleeps across my lap - eventually Ado pulls over - we are a few kilometers from Tacloban - under the shade of a large tree alongside the ocean - the island of Samar on the horizon.
My feet are dreadful - I cover them with two giant leaves that have fallen off the tree, to stop Mayen from staring at them, but soon kick them off as I see an infestation of termites about to transfer from leaf to leg.
After a smoke - no more photos - I'm out of film - we drive on for a short while, stopping for lunch at Adoko's - a local "fast" food chain - for chow mein, rice and a roast chicken that takes an age to arrive. We notice the staff furiously fanning the charcoal embers in an effort to bring the chicken up to the regulation temperature. There are lots of flies around.

Then the last leg to the airport - we check in and Ado then drives us to a nearby store to purchase Pasalubong [coming home presents] of local delicacies for Alberto, Marivien and Miss Ann.
We taste them as we wait - Mayen getting rather tearful - in the airport lounge.

[Looking back, I remember again thinking, she's pretending. Mayen had buried her face in the bag on my lap and made crying movements with her shoulders. I don't actually remember seeing any moist eyes.]

Mayen has trouble with her ears as we descend into Manila - but soon we are back in the hustle and bustle - stuck in the traffic as we are driven back to the Grami Hotel.
We check in and are greeted as old friends by the respectful staff - a little glad to be back in civilisation, air-con and proper showers - although the peace and joy of the barrio makes almost any hardship bearable - and it felt so good to be woken up from my western laziness.
We are both a little confused in our mood - trying to be joyful, but the closeness of our farewell is so painfully obvious - we don't know how we are going to handle it after 10 days of being virtually inseparable.

Collecting our belongings from Mayen's room - we collect the laundry that we deposited before the trip to the province.
I think they do a good job - it's all neatly pressed and folded - nice and fresh - apart from a few accidental blemishes that appear on some of Mayen's clothes to her annoyance - and the fact that one of her previously white blouses had been turned a light grey.
I don't know quite how she is feeling - so brave - courageously facing her life - away from her family again - and about to be faced with me flying off into the sunset as well. She has good friends at work thank goodness.

Our last evening together.
We go for a meal - very good - splendid menu - the waiter and one of the customers have incredibly infectious laughs - it amuses me. Mayen gets a call from her brother - a seaman - in Manila on his way to the province - I want him to come and meet Mayen - I say hi on the phone - no good - his flight is at 4.00 am - and it's a dreadful journey from where he is - with Adelaide in Quezon City, to where we are.

Back to the hotel - we separate our bits and pieces - it's very hard - we've been living like man and wife for the last 9 days - so close - well maybe not like man and wife - more like new lovers. I want to keep Mayen's handkerchief - something with her smell on it - and her tears from Tacloban airport - I don't - Mayen doesn't like the idea. Gifts of handkerchieves are taboo - because of the association with sadness & funerals.
We shower and bed - tenderness - no making babies - we save that for the morning.

I shall run,
No,
I shall fly now,
Until I have no more breath,
And beyond,
Until I find the long swaying grass,
The green, lush, safe place,
And nestle there,
In that comfortable hollow
That we made,
Me and my love,
The paradise we found together
In those early days
Before . . .
I shan't look up . . .
Listen to the babbling stream,
The air, singing sweet with birds,
The warmth of the breeze,
The whispering of the grasses,
The long drawn out sighing of the ocean,
This is where I belong,
There is no other.
I shall sleep,
I shall hold on to your hand,
We will live, waiting in each other's dream,
Till the day comes
For us to open our eyes
And see,
Open our hearts
And know.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 15 - Last moments

Journey 14

DAY ELEVEN

TEN THOUSAND

A face that hides ten thousand secrets,
Eyes that reach as many miles
Into the corners of my soul,

Lips to kiss ten thousand times,
And paint upon ten thousand smiles
From whence those secrets will be told.

Ten thousand silkworms spun the hair,
Who's colour, darkest night gave style.
The stars, within her hand she holds

To cast, with love, to whom she cares.
I think one fell to me awhile,
So I return, ten thousand fold.

Up at a reasonable hour - 9 ish - head straight to the drug store after breakfast in the hotel for Anti-histamine tablets and Amoxycillin for my feet - these in combination with my anti-malaria tablets make me feel all woozy as we head for the SM mall to eat and buy Mayen a new cellphone - her old one is giving up - I could never successfully phone her from the UK.
We have a good brunch at Max's - choose the cellphone and head to a small coffee booth on the ground floor where we sit - I smoke, drink coffee as we sort out the SIMM card and enter a few important numbers. The SMS soon start to flow.

Back at the hotel we have more coffee in the reception area.
All around us preparations for a Filipino wedding - a posh one at that - men wielding great chunky video cameras film the bride as she glides down the stairs - followed by her mother - then her father. A long white mercedes parked outside, with a large bouquet attached to the radiator grill, gave the game away as we approached the hotel. I can see Mayen's thoughts whirring - and to be honest - my imagination is working overtime as well.

We keep strong - it's time to go to the airport.
I check in and meet Mayen for a final fifteen minutes in a restaurant. It's all quite bearable as long as we are together - we can do anything.

The time comes - I see Mayen off in a taxi cab, watching her being whisked off to continue with her life, that I knew so little about. It was a strangely unemotional farewell - very business like and swift.

I feel dreadfully alone as I wander through the milling crowds through security and in to the waiting lounge.
I receive an SMS from Mayen while sat in the lounge - but cannot reply for some reason. I hunt down a payphone and using my last pieces of Filipino coinage manage to speak to her. That was the last time I heard her voice - just before boarding the plane to Hong Kong.

I ask my neighbour on the plane to translate some of the other SMS messages that have arrived on my phone for Mayen who had been using it all the time - nothing critical - but there still was the important one from her - in English - saying that she loved me - and that she would wait.

[I wrote the following passage at Hong Kong airport.]

My world is strangely silent now - and suddenly spinning on its own orbit - no longer two bodies in a dance of attraction - pulled together around the sun of a mutual love.
Like a dream just gone - I feel the sharp focus of my memories beginning to blur - the intricate detail becoming fuzzy, receding fast, speeding away into the past.
But I know that same speed is pulling me towards a future - the adventure continues - I still find myself in two worlds - the world of faith, surrender to love's destiny - and less often now - the frightening world of doubt, of fear - and I feel I know which of those two worlds is the true one. Yet the disguise, the illusion is at times so convincingly deceptive.
What have I just been through? The amazing, kaleidoscopic - fairground world of Manila - hustling, bustling - all the time alive - sometimes disgustingly so - having to breath those eye stinging exhaust fumes. I see the less positive side of their inheritance from the years under the control of America - the glittering "fools gold" of capitalism. The stark contrast between the towering Bali-high-rise promises of the Makati skyline - and the rusty, dirty, grubby poverty - that frames so many sparkling eyes. The scratching for a living - making everything conceivable an opportunity to earn a few pesos. That enormous gulf I find, turns my stomach - I feel it as profoundly as in my dream. Yet there is always the strength, the warmth, the humanity - bahala na Manila - bahala na.
I don't care that Mayen managed to drain me of all my money - I gave her all that was left over - anyway - "mine" is an illusion - an attitude that denies abundance. I was a willing participant - fighting poverty is as instinctive as eating - support and respect of the family is the first concern - I wouldn't even say it was selfish - but life does revolve around family.
I don't care at all - relationships are all based on need - there is always a trade off. I am certain beneath it all we have a strong, genuine love - I've no idea how it would be were I poor and pennyless - but as it is - it works - and it works beautifully.
I hate the feeling of being the Big White King - the Golden Goose - being fleeced for all they can get - I loathe the undue respect that the exchange rate affords me. I will never be one of them - even when I marry - I will always be the outsider - they will always put blood before paper - but I do want to be a part of that world - a part of Mayen's life - I want to share her paradise - for that is how it is, in her province - unspoilt as it has been for years.
"Progress" may be slow in coming - but it will come eventually - at the moment there is no internet there, hardly even a telephone line - water supply is crude, power intermittent and unreliable - but the important aspects of life they have in abundance - such a wealth of spirit, of joy - a natural happiness.
I want to start a business there with my beloved - start a family.

SALT

Should you near the sea today,
And chance to feel the softest spray
Fall light upon your lips,
The salty taste may well display
The like as on my fingertips,
For they have freshly caught a tear
From dropping to the floor,
That formed as I came fraught with fear
At thoughts of you, but you no more.


Then it's just airports, planes - it's raining at Heathrow - high security - there's just been an attack on Glasgow airport that morning. I have to wait here all day.
My phone is completely drained - but after a long hunt - I discover a secret power outlet just inside the entrance. I innocently sit alongside my phone - concealed behind my suitcase, as it charges up - I have loads of time.

I receive a call from a work colleague enquiring after a contact number - I can't really help, I tell him, I'm at Heathrow airport waiting to go to Jersey.
I didn't realise, but he had also left a message on the answer machine at my home which was intercepted by my wife. I don't know what she's been thinking - my last contact was a text message - sent as a last resort really, just before I flew to Manila - telling her that I would not be home until 7th July (a fortnight later than she had expected) and that my phone would be off - I needed time to think. She could make of that what she would - hopefully just presume that I was staying on in Jersey for the entire three weeks.
She decides to reply to the answer phone message telling him I'm away - "It's OK" she learns "I've managed to speak to Tim at Heathrow - he's just on his way to the Channel Islands."

Of course - I don't know any of this - until I return home, a week later.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 16 - Waiting

Journey 15

A MONTH ON

Photographs have the unfortunate habit of usurping feelings, replacing them with something purely visual, in a reference that is only courtesy of the camera lens.
They give me the same sensation as walking through a waxworks.
What is crucial for me to remember is exactly how I was feeling when these photographs were taken.
Memory is an ephemeral, fragile thing - however my feelings exist at such a deep place inside me - I am never going to forget the power those moments had to change the thrust of my life.

Mayen and I are still regularly keeping in touch - via the humble means at our disposal.

I have planned another trip in August - mainly because I am desperate to be with her again - and to sort out various plans and explore in more detail ideas for our future. Progress seems laboriously slow on the home front - there is so much to be done - and my guilt at keeping poor Mayen waiting - so patiently, bless her - adds to the overall discomfort.

I am faced with poisonous attitudes from some of those people around me - which at times have encouraged, reconstituted my own early fears and doubts. I have battled willfully against this - my faith being victorious - I am now so resolute that, no matter what, no matter when - I will marry Mayen - we will live a happy, prosperous life together in the Philippines.

We will not be defeated by time or space - we are as close as ever - and constantly growing in trust and respect - excited and full of wonder, as always, by our seemingly miraculous happiness.

Ours will be no shooting star
To burn up soon,
Without a trace,
Or like the moon,
That shines afar,
No smile upon her face,
But as the sun,
So warm, so bright,
Our days are spun
With rays of light,
Threads of fire,
Woven gold,
Young love's desire
While hearts grow old.

God bless you all.

I have another very strange dream - riding in a horse drawn carriage I arrive in the forecourt of a large, sombre castle.
As the carriage crunches across the gravel and makes a turn to the left I look up - standing behind the castellated boundary - up on the roof - two hooded figures - both women - I know them to be members of Mayen's family.
One of them points out and I hear "Mayen is here - she's waiting for you."
In the dream my cellphone rings - it's Mayen. I don't get to hear what the call is about - for at that point I wake up.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 17 - Hindsight

Journey 16

Poverty is cruel.

I suggest that impoverishment is more cruel.
To be living in the outfall of corruption, the moral pollution that spills out and all around - impoverishment is the effect on the human soul.
To be like a child in the shadow of a parent who has turned away, turned their back.

Only an impoverished soul could employ love as a means to satisfy the complete opposite - and I don't mean simply hatred - but lovelessness, avarice, contempt.
Only a soul that was starved of the experience, the possibility of genuine love would attempt such a devious disguise with full conscience.

Each country walks its own unique path through history - the path trodden by the Philippines has been cruelly twisted.*

They wish to come to the table - they are reaching out a hand to the rest of the world.
But what of the table manners that this cruel path, including the present day, has taught the Philippines?
We welcome the beautiful Philippines and their wonderful people to the table, but we must take their hand - and with the assistance of our governments - stamp out one or two deviations in manners - that at the moment seem to suggest, to a few, that they can hide under the table - and share the meal.

* Please read this to understand just how cruel.

Okay - now please remove the rose tinted spectacles, crush them under your feet and put on the brown pair.
Almost as hard for me to believe as it is to bear - this has come to an abrupt end.
I admit to being carried along on a cloud of self-delusion, which my ego found very agreeable, to which I ascribed the word love.
As we shall see - things cannot be so.

I will leave the previous chapters in this journey completely untouched - so they may be read for what they are - the musings of a big fish - caught upon a dirty hook - believing that he was about to be lifted into paradise pond, when in reality - all the time - he was secretly being prepared for someone else's feast.
So here are all the bits I left out - plus a few that I left in - but their selection will show you that there are always two sides to every coin.

I was virtually immediately snapped up to take part in these adventures - remember - my first night - my picture not even on display, only the tag "new" and she was there, waiting.

Her picture, by the way, had been edited - Mayen openly told me this - once in one of her rare longish emails - & again in the back of a taxi cab, making a point of showing me her ID card. It was then she told me that it had been taken for her ID badge - but she had used it on the dating site.
I think it much more likely that it was the other way round.

The age range selected for her interest was suitably vast.

I admit to playing perfectly into her skillful hands - yes - putty indeed - the unhappy marriage - the burgeoning hope for new horizons - the poetry - ha!
I think my contribution to our overall communication must stand at least as high as 80%.
No matter how long were my messages to her on the dating site, or my emails to her - apart from two occasions when I emphatically supplied a heading to my message - "Here is your questionnaire" - and bulleted and numbered the questions - only very, very rarely was any comment made by her upon the content of these messages - she explained . . .

Hello my dearest tim,
I know that your intention to me is true and pure..I can sense it.. im
so glad sometimes flattered about you. I know also that everytime i
wrote shortly here or even in DIA seems you disappointing coz you
wanna know everything and every little details about me and yet you
can't discover it through those short message.. Im so sorry about that
honey..Sometimes im just so tired, coz of my work.. I feel pressured
and sometimes i wanna quit.. Im so tired of this life..The load im
carying now seems so heavy..But writng you very shortly doesnt mean
im pakipot [playing hard to get] or even mysterious.. Its just me..
And i hope you understand me in everyway. . .

Despite numerous requests for her to be more illuminating about herself - all that followed were harmless, day to day remarks - generally positive - to keep the wheel spinning - as it were, (although, as you will see, Mayen starts to write at much greater length - when the emotionally twisting emails - and the emails trying to persuade me that she was somewhere that she wasn't - start arriving.)

Not the kind of communication one would expect from someone with a serious interest in a relationship - but certainly the sort of behaviour that suits deception - a vacuum of knowledge - soon filled by the imagination - and usually that picture is painted mostly in the glowing colours of hope and wishful thinking.
I offered the hand - she was able to fashion the glove - a perfect fit - every time.
A contemporary metamorphosis of the fabled Oriental pliability.
I really greased the slipway when it came to the subject of the visit - picking up her subtlest hints - and obligingly carrying them to fulfilment by myself.

Quite often, during pauses in our chat sessions, Mayen would ask me "Are you chatting to other?" as if she knew that it was possible, as if she knew the ropes and half expected me to be "playing the field" - I wasn't - I was hopelessly devoted to only her.

The rest of the journey is already written - just one or two details to add - one or two moments when I felt a very menacing spectre cast it's cold shadow over me - no - not quite the fluffy pantomime image of the golden goose - something tangibly more sinister.
But - being ever the cock-eyed optimist - perhaps a good choice of phrase in the circumstances, not simply for its musical theatre location, I managed to blind my vision at the time.

The first occasion my blood ran cold - a portent of how wrong things could have gone - came after a cellphone call that Mayen received in our hotel room.
I remember seeing a transformation - suddenly, there was a switch to a cold, hard, completely impersonal attitude to me - as if she was hiding her self behind a barrier - extremely business like.
The call was from her sister, apparently, passing on the instructions that Mayen was being expected to pay for the family festivities soon to happen in the Barrio Fiesta - purchase all the food in other words.

Now we are talking about only a small amount of money - perhaps less than a days wages here in the UK.
But morals do not have an exchange rate - they are universal - and this blatant taking advantage of my perceived riches was the first warning of how low the graph can sink.
This was the first direct request for money - and I could see her physically and mentally detaching herself - steeling herself for an awkward reception from me - which of course didn't happen.
I suppose I had anticipated the odd squeeze for some money - the decision was handed to me - now it appeared that if I didn't oblige I was being mean - instead of confronting the situation there and then, who knows what might have been the result of that - I found it easier to just go with the flow - not make a fuss.
Besides, it was a confusing and unusual situation for me to find myself in.
It was perfectly apparent, however, that this was all part of the plan, part of the reason for my being there.
I really think that everything else was just a sweetener

I saw a distinctly aggresive side to Mayen one day when climbing into a tricycle beside her, I accidentally banged into the top of her shoulder.
There was an immediacy of rage in her eyes and voice that would have not seemed out of place in a bad humoured terrier.

I have alluded already to the manner in which she decided, completely for herself, to buy the new shoes - again - and I must stress this point - it is not the amount of money that is the issue here - it touches on trust and moral behaviour and shows a very unfamiliar angle to them.

Also mentioned was the first night's meal with the family - again that fearful shadow - I was in very different company. I glossed over this in the journey - but in fact I ate no more than I was originally offered that night - waiting to see if my prematurely empty plate would catch anyone's attention, or an invitation to more.
But I sat there, deeply disturbed when neither of those things happened, not a single word was spoken to me - and all those around me just carried on - obliviously - like a family of crabs in a feeding frenzy.
I have tried to rationalise what was happening - but I know what I felt at the time - there are areas of perception that are not fooled at all.

While on the picnic at the seashore - again - in a perfectly graphic depiction of what was happening - I felt the deep fear pass over me once more. On all of these ocassions, it was as if I were being warned - as if a cloud was deliberately put in front of the blinding light of my love - to show me what was really going on. But they were fleeting clouds, which my eagerness and my desire soon brushed aside.

Sat alongside a small fishing boat on the ground - Mayen sat on board - as a friend of mine pointed out - quite possibly letting her triumph show rather too eagerly than was tactful. She set about showing me the various fisherman's implements that were stowed on the boat - a catch net - a cleft stick for picking up the urchins - and a giant gaff hook which she posed with - me the big fish and her the successful fisherman. She drew the rest of the family's attention to this and muttered some Tagalog - to which they all erupted in laughter which I detected as mocking - and extremely unsettling.

I noticed towards the end of our time together that it was only the top price dishes that Mayen ever chose for herself in restaurants.

Yes - we did have great fun - and it was very much a holiday - and we were both very generous with the budget, although with hindsight it is possible to see why.

Mayen had originally told me that the hotel room would be P800 per night - I had forgotten this detail - but on checking in, the price I was quoted per night was P1,800.
The long return journey by taxi from Tacloban to Pintuyan - I was not privy to the negotiations - it was all in dialect.
I'm sure that from the moment I stepped off the plane Mayen was probably earning herself percentages of all the deals she struck with these people - who themselves were only too happy to make more than the going rate - all at my expense.

OK - a little respite - does this sound like sour grapes? Read on - you may grasp exactly how tart that fruit can taste.

How much of her behaviour had been simply a charade?
How much had it been disguising a far less amorous motive - just giving dear Hansel sufficient sweets to lure him in?

From this moment - from this point onwards - it is important to realise that the events I am reporting as "real" are simply me repeating what was told to me, or written to me - by telephone, text message, IM or email. I have no way whatsoever of verifying that any of it is true or false.

It will reveal to you the convincing power of words, of documents, of false testimony - but too much faith was invested in that power - at the expense of ignoring other dimensions of communication - through which truth can be discerned.
When there is a determination to deceive, the illusion is very easy to achieve in communicated material alone - depending on its perception - which the scammers believe has been preconditioned - emotionally - by love - to accept that everything can only be how it appears.

Remember also how it feels - to be insanely in love.

You may well find yourself being lulled into believing the words - but stay alert - read between the lines - ask yourself constantly - is this an appropriate response?

I am reminded of the lines by Kahlil Gibran.

"The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you.
Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say."

Bear in mind that in the Philippines, as no doubt in other areas of the world subject to poverty, some people will sell their integrity, compromise their honesty - "truth" can be purchased - by threat, by favour or by pesos.
I am no longer prepared to accept what information I am given as true. Viewing the history of our relationship with this same suspicion throws absolutely everything into the shadow of doubt - how does one decide where to draw the line between fantasy and reality - once complete trust has gone - it is probably gone for good - the boy who cried wolf was never believed again.

Let me please emphasize something crucial here - this is not an issue about money - far from it - it is all about trust, honesty, respect and integrity - essential ingredients, surely, for me to concern myself with - planning, as I was, to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

What is perfectly clear to me is that love and the sort of activity I am starting to suspect, do not go hand in hand.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 18 - Squeezing

Journey 17

Since my return to the UK there have been occasions when I have been asked to send money - of course - the expected route - via Western Union - untraceable.
My interest has been encouraged also in a variety of "business opportunities" - purchasing some land available in Mayen's province - land that is for sale cheaply because the owner needs some money, according to the method outlined in a previous chapter - land that Mayen's father would administer for the Copra trade - interest has been stirred for purchasing condominiums, a franchise in a restaurant chain - requiring a 3 million pesos deposit - not quite my league.

I recall now, looking back, on at least a couple of occasions, Mayen quizzed me on why I had no children (if they were to try a scam & I had had a vasectomy, for instance - it would blow the whole thing wide open. Important for this detail to be discovered.)

The honey trap was set for me - I ate the honey . . .

I was surprised, as I expressed in the journey, when out of the blue the relationship with Mayen became physical.
That night I asked her if she was at all concerned about becoming pregnant - should I use contraception, to which she replied that she wasn't bothered and that she thought I would prefer not to - distinctly giving me the impression that our love was to include the possibility of children - whether sooner or later - which was precisely how I felt at the time - desiring passionately to bring new life through our union.
I was not rational at all - not thinking of complications, implications - merely being carried along on a tide of love.

I was equally surprised that while staying at the family house, after the briefest of inquisitions from Mayen's mother, we were permitted to share the same bed - it seemed to be contrary to the strictly Catholic morality that I had understood ran so deeply in these people.

Now I realise that my feet are starting to feel sticky . . .

Back in the UK - back from my final week in Jersey - my first day at home, just over a week since leaving Mayen in the taxi at Manila airport. I am busy sending the photos of the journey to her via email.

Soon, we are online - chatting - Mayen requests some money to help with the expense of internet cafes, as I am expecting her to chat to me daily if possible.

However - Mayen is not feeling well - fever - a stiff neck - very soon the request transforms into a need for money for a health check. Her friend's brother has been hospitalised with Dengue Fever and she is worried that she might have contracted that, although personally, my perception is that there is something else going on here. The following day I send the money - not an enormous amount for me - but a large amount for her to receive.
I learn later that Mayen and her colleagues all ate well on one occasion after collecting the money.

Having now discovered that I'm willing to play ball with her requests . . .

Friday 13th of July - ominous sounding date already - I learn from Mayen that she has had the check up - but she thinks that she is showing symptoms of pregnancy - I knew it - and has to go for another checkup . . .

"Timmy, I have to go back to the doctor this day coz i felt something unusual.. my fever is gone and stiff neck but i lose my appetite and i keep on vomiting..feel so weak and im delayed, im suspecting that im pregnant huhuhuhu.. but to make sure have to go for check up again.. i'll just let you know the details after the check up.. I love you..and i mis you a lot my timmyboy.."

. . . certainly the list of symptoms sounds suitably convincing - but it is too early to be positive and she is under medical supervision until the 27th. But the email is curiously brief and to the point - as if it were simply ticking a box in a checklist of procedures. After this I get the occasional report of morning sickness - loss of appetite.

But later in an email she tells me . . .

"my monthly period was came and i told you im not pregnant coz i have a monthly period.. but i was wondering why its too early.. i know i have it every 2nd week or 3rd week of a month.. i thought it was just changing cycle.."

So why did she think she was "delayed" on only the 13th of the month?
My time with her was right across the 2nd and 3rd week of the month - and there was certainly no menstruation, nor talk of being delayed, so I can safely presume that she is referring to July.

And stickier . . .

On the Monday 16th July Mayen informs me that she is "spotting." Unsure of what this implies I do a google search - we are still online chatting - and discover that one of the causes could be infection with some types of STD in early pregnancy.

Now - this gets very personal at this point - but in the interests of authenticity I will include the details.

I had discovered what I thought had been early signs of a boil or a spot - squeezed and medicated the area and thought no more about it - until now. Putting those two pieces of information together - alarm bells rang like crazy in my head. Herpes was the number one contender in this case - although the symptoms are varied and sometimes unnoticed - but the major implication was for the health of the suspected baby.
So I passed all this news and information to Mayen. I should go for a check up. We chat on into the early morning - a 5 hour session in all - and my brain is completely fried when we say "bye for now."

I have a complete breakdown - early in the morning - after the chat session - I can do nothing but lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling - there is no one I can talk to who sees and feels both sides of this as strongly as I do.

I am on my own - contemplating that I have made an enormous mistake in my life - I felt about to be entering a living hell - the cold, menacing spectre descends on me again - this time it doesn't go away - I'm throwing away my marriage, my house - destroying any vestiges of trust I had with my wife - I've possibly contracted an incurable STD - a pregnant girlfriend whom I love so deeply on the other side of the world - was she lying? Is this all true? I shall have to go underground - change my identity - I envisioned a horde of machette wielding Filipino men coming after me to avenge their family honour.
Working through it all I am left with the strongest feeling - that I would never desert Mayen - carrying our child.

The next day, Mayen denies having an STD - telling me her sexual history - last time was a year ago. Now - hold on a minute - she had told me that she last had a boyfriend two years ago - inconsistency - more alarm bells. (She had told me as well that she met with him in Manila a year ago, by chance - not imagining that she'd had a sexual liason at this time - I had forgotten this detail - but Mayen confessed to having had sex with him a year ago at the Barrio Fiesta in her province & explained away the discrepency of dates.)
The implications that I had even dared to think that Mayen was a "dirty woman" - of loose morals - infected with an STD - resulted in her disappearing into the bathroom - in floods of tears - and there she remained - refusing to answer her cellphone - her colleague, Miss Ann, took over the chat session - and made me feel completely ashamed for my suspicions - telling me "You should love her with heart, mind and soul - she's too young to be hurt like this . . . " - always the emotional twisting - never any attempt at calm rationality - in other words - trust your faith in her - blindly.

Miss Ann

The outcome of this particular sub-plot was that I went for a check up - nothing confirmed - but that's the nature of the disease - I'd left it too late for a positive diagnosis. Although blood tests can confirm the presence of anti-bodies there is no way to distinguish between the two varieties of Herpes.

To accurately diagnose genital Herpes a swab from the infected site has to be collected - and collecting a suitable swab depends on the time of presentation. Maybe it was just a spot - but I'm in the clear for anything else - relief.

I realise that the knife in my heart gets a severe twisting - and Mayen knows it - going overtly overboard in her crying - I am certain now that it is just part of the charade.

We are proceeding at home with visits from estate agents - plans are moving slowly.
A friend of mine had suggested that I go for another visit - now things are out in the open at home - I might view the whole situation differently. I remember telling Mayen that now would be a good chance for me to visit again as I still had some of the money from a bank loan in my account - she seems thrilled at the news.

An extract from my email to Mayen July 16th . . .

. . . Please can you try to get from your father some facts and figures regarding the Copra trade - I have an idea that Copra will feature strongly as a commodity, as it is now required (or some processed form of coconut oil) for additives to diesel fuel, yah?

We will need all sorts of figures eventually, average profit/expense forecasts per hectare, plus some form of legal assistance - someone who is aware of business laws, requirements, stipulations regarding foreign/national investors, tax relief, taxation itself, labour laws (insurance etc.) property transfers - the list is endless - my goodness - help!

As many useful, trustworthy contacts as possible - to assist with things like immigration, investment - I want to protect our investment from the hands of anyone who might take advantage - I'm sure you understand exactly what I mean.

You have my implicit trust, Mayen - we are working as a team in this from start to finish, yah?

But all this is fundamentally to protect our love, our happiness - not our investment - so that we can live comfortably and enjoy a safe and secure future for us and our family. Once we're up and running and established in a home - we can start to share and enjoy the fruits of it all . . .

I have mentioned to Mayen already that I am thinking of going to see her again in August - and my email to her of 19th July shows that I am still under the impression that she is pregnant . . .

. . . then there is the news that we might be expecting a baby . . .

A couple of my posts from Filipino UK site that I joined at this time - seeking information for my proposed emigration, but which also go to prove that my story was already written up (so far) and was not entirely done out of revenge.

Here is part of my email to her on the 21st July . . .

. . . I want to try to get things moving as much as I can
before August - as I said on YM - I plan on flying on
the 14th (to arrive 15th) and leave again (huhuhuh) on
the 28th. I don't really care what we do in that time
- but I will ask you to keep a tight control on the
budget, yah? It would be wonderful to perhaps have a
look at a selection of condo appartments that you
choose to be suitable - and make some appointments for
me to discuss all the protocols with one of the
agents. I will not be making any payments yet as that
is premature - but it will get us a lot closer to a
realistic idea of things - time scales, budgets,
running costs etc. . .

My diary entry for Monday 21st July reads that concerns for the pregnancy have vanished - it appears to have been a false alarm. So around the time I have announced my definite plans to visit again, the pregnancy disappears.

Time marches forward - regular chats on the internet to Mayen - which definitely are growing longer each day - Mayen devoting a lot of time to me - often at the Internet cafe myself because of regular interruptions and scenes at home, threats of personal damage and damage to my property - the computers. It's all getting very complicated and messy.

And stickier still . . .

Mayen informs me that her boss has decided that all 3 girls should now share Mayen's small room, although later on he denies knowledge of this.
Of course, I have seen the old room - it is decidedly small.
Mayen wants to find an alternative place to live. Will I pay?
Shall she have the one with air-con?
No - she chooses the other one - it's cheaper.

August 2nd - The end result is me sending another £160.00 for deposit and 2 months rent.
Of course - to keep my concern - it is in a very seedy part of town - the squatters area - and a few days later the room floods in the rain and Mayen has a row with her "new" landlady about fixing it. Although in a later chat Mayen doesn't seem to remember what I'm talking about when I refer to "Ten buckets of water . . ."
Also - I have discovered these conflicting stories from our chats on these two days:

7th August

mayen: tomorrow i will vivit my sister
tim: yah Adelaide?
mayen: in novaliches
mayen: yes
mayen: she invited me

8th August

mayen: yes and the drainage in the terrace
mayen: is not worki9ng
mayen: that's why the whole unit was fiiled with water
mayen: hhuhuhuhu
tim: not good
mayen: i just discovered it all last night
mayen: really get mad
mayen: i fixed one hour
tim: you fix it?
mayen: filled the water in the pale
mayen: huhuhu
mayen: 10 pales of water
mayen: the drainage in the terrace is not working
mayen: really trouble
mayen: hehehe
tim: yah - huhuhuhuhuh
mayen: that's why i left the unit
mayen: and visit my sister
tim: yah - to your sister's?

So Mayen has now been separated from any connection Tierra Maria Estates had by providing the original room.
Well - the room that I was shown - did she actually live there - perhaps that was a set-piece, with the emphasis on being miserably small and hot - that the girls used when it was their turn to entertain a foreigner - place a different photograph on the table - bring in a bag of clothes - a toothbrush.
This move would also distance Mayen that little bit more from the "paternal" protection that she seems to have hinted at from Sir Francis.
The stage is being set - perhaps . . .

And I'm stuck fast . . .

Friday 10th August.

I send Mayen an email saying, amongst other things, that I have just noticed that her profile on Date In Asia has been set to hidden.

Little contact with Mayen the last couple of days, since our last, long chat on the 8th August - she is staying with her sister, Adelaide, in Quezon City.
I recall now, thinking back to just before my first visit in June, Mayen visited her sister Adelaide - last minute details to discuss?

Early Friday morning, 6:30 am after a long discussion with my wife about my fears, I check online to see if there are any messages - I might have a date to keep at the internet cafe at 10:00 am - I can't use the computer at home for chats - too many interruptions.

A couple of minutes after I log on to the Messenger (something that they can observe discretely by signing in themselves as invisible) I get a call on my cellphone from Mayen - very unusual in itself - what with the cost of international calls.
"Timmy - it's Mayen - I'm in hospital - call me back on this number, bad reception on my phone . . . "
I try to call the number from my house phone - the line is dreadful - breaking up in a very strange distorted way - I just about manage to hear Mayen who sounds annoyed that the phone is so bad, I can remember thinking that Mayen was unaware that I was even on the other end still. Stressing, but in a very business like way, I hear her say . . .
"It's not working . . ." so I abandon the call.
The first call was from a cellphone - I traced it later - it belongs to Mayen's landlady - ate Glo - good enough reception on her phone for the first call, in the same room as Mayen. I try Mayen's own cellphone - reception is fine - Mayen - suspected apendicitis or something - waiting for an examination - send money . . . the call is disturbed by my wife who screams abuse down the telephone at Mayen . . . I hang up saying I'll be in touch again really soon.

At home - imagine the scene - my wife attacking me - she overheard my loving sympathy on the telephone to Mayen - this provokes a great rage and a fit of violence towards me - she baracades herself in my studio - the computer room.
I try to barge in - my tobacco is in there - I'm desperate for a smoke - my wife threatens to phone the police - go ahead, I say, I've not done anything to you. She does . . . !
I send a quick SMS to Mayen "Be in touch later, my wife has called the police - the police are here now."
They had just arrived - keeping cool - my wife has hidden my tobacco somewhere - we are separately interviewed - it lasts about an hour - there is nothing they can do - much to my wife's chagrin - as she wanted me locked up there and then and the key thrown away.

I take myself out to the park and call Mayen on my cellphone.
"It's an Ectopic Pregnancy . . ." I'm passed to someone else, I'm reminded later on that this was "Dra. Leonardo" who explains in a very detailed way what I already knew about Ectopic Pregnancies - back to Mayen - "send some money . . . Sir Francis has paid a P10,000 deposit . . . groans and sobbing . . . speak to Sir Francis."

I dash home - in a panic - pick up a business card that Sir Francis gave me - back to the park - I call him up.
"I was just going to ring you" he says "Mayen has given me her phone . . . her sister is coming soon . . . Mayen has no insurance. . ."
We discuss things - my visit - Mayen's condition - what hospital is she in? Should I try to move my flight earlier?

I am in a whirl - what the hell do I do? Sir Francis sends an SMS:

SMS from Sir F. Sent Aug 10 18:55
Hi tim, mayen wil b out of recovery rm n a whyl.
She's ok - wil need to stay n hosptal 2 to 3 days.
Vien wil stay wth her til her sis arives.
Wil vsit agen late tom wen bak frm tme.

My first instinct - go to the bank draw some money - try to change the flight - or buy a one way ticket and go to Manila.
But I am worried - somehow - an Ectopic Pregnancy is just too perfect, exactly the right vehicle for extortion from a loving boyfriend - and worth quite a bit of money if it comes off.
I am very worried - I do go to town - sit and have a coffee - banks aren't open yet - and phone my supportive friend.
He is just amazed by this latest twist - tells me to hold on and be rational - he'd suspected all along that I might be being scammed (and so had I) but this latest event just revealed the magnitude of the scam - they were all in on it.



I get home - discover the website for the hospital - Medical Center Paranaque - phone up the hospital saying I am the fiancee - (perhaps I should say financier) I am passed up to the nurse station - a man who I presume is a nurse hands the phone to Chots - one of Mayen's work colleagues - we chat.
"I have Mayen's cellphone here . . . just given it to her . . . you can call her on that."
I take myself outside and phone Mayen from my cellphone.
"Oh Timmy . . . no more babies . . . huhuhuhuh . . . send me the money . . ." in a nutshell is all that was said.

So, what was I supposed to do at this point? Phone up the hospital accounts department, I expect - and enquire as to the exact amount of the bill - send the money over via Western Union?
One thing's for sure - there is a certain amount of preparation to do for a scam such as this - people to brief, facts to organise.

But the long list of coincidences & indescrepencies that I am being expected to believe, is growing.

* Mayen's behaviour regarding money during my trip and since.
* Her initiating our physical liason.
* Her denial of having an STD is later proved a lie.
* Mayen's confusion over the dates suggesting to her that she was pregnant.
* The pregnancy itself. (Not everyone gets lucky - 1st time round.)
* The rarity of Ectopic Pregnancies.
* The time scale of the Emergency operation - pains at 4.00am - operation at 3.45pm.
* Ruptures of Ampullary Ectopic Pregnancies normally occur at 8 to 12 weeks. This is 6 weeks, 6 days from the earliest possible date of conception, 23rd June - very early. Read HERE page 267.
* The Fallopian tube was not removed - very unusual after a rupture.
* Mayen is only expected to be in hospital for 2 to 3 days.
* That this is happening just 5 days prior to my scheduled visit.


Convinced more than ever it is a scam - I phone my friend again - are they all in on it? - hiding behind the Real Estate business - teams of girls - luring Westerners into parting with their money - small amounts by our standards - but multiply that by the amount of girls involved and the amount of potential "clients" they can each have at any one time - and it adds up to quite a business. Maybe the odd big windfall when the result is a sale of property - remember I was prepared to do all this - buy a condominium - maybe even another one to rent out. They must all be in on the scam - Mayen, Sir Francis, Marivien, Miss Ann, Chots, Adelaide and the people at the hospital.
One of the tell tale signs is the purchase of a new cell phone - remember - so that she knows who is calling.

My only course of action is to completely - from this point of time - cut off all communication.
That night I deleted all her emails, addresses, my profile on the dating site, Mayen's addition to my Messenger - the only way to get in touch with me that was still available was my cell phone.
I received several calls - I didn't answer them - voice messages left simply said "Timmy - call me - on my cellphone."

I was resolute - I was firm - for a whole day. Fortunately I spent the whole day, Saturday, working at a theatre and was busy until late evening. I'd told Mayen of this in an email - so my lack of communication was obviously expected - and mysteriously, despite the "seriousness" of Mayen's plight, I received nothing from her either.

Saturday night - I just can't sleep - what if it is true?
I am more interested to try to know the truth - more so than my relationship with Mayen now.

Sunday 12th August
More calls on my cellphone - I weaken - I send an SMS - simply saying "I know, I know, I know." which had become Mayen's catchphrase every time I told her how much I loved her. Clever - ambiguous - I thought - perhaps she'll be confused now - am I on to them?
I weaken again - this time answering a live call - Mayen asks me what's going on - I turn the question around - "You tell me " I said "I'm worried."
This continued without her giving me any information - until she upped the action " What are you doing to me . . ? " and burst into tears - uncontrolably - her sister Adelaide takes over the phone (perhaps Mayen's visit to her was to rehearse the script) - a brief exchange - the phone goes dead.

I cannot talk to Mayen on the phone - a distinctly unfair advantage to her is the effect the sound of her voice has on me - she knows this. I send an SMS saying I would only deal with this by SMS, email or chatting on the messenger.
Mayen sends an SMS back - she has given Marivien her Yahoo password.

SMS from Mayen Aug 12 Sent 19:49
ok, i wil let marivien access my email pls send me email .. love you

In our first chat after the "hospital" incident - Mayen is confused over these details - suggesting that she had given Marivien my email address and the password to her account on the Friday.
Mayen also states that Marivien had sent me an email using her account, but had received a failed to deliver notification - thinking that my blocking Mayen's address would have this result. Not true - blocking an email address simply results in its deletion - no failure notice is issued - reinforcing the fact that no prior email was sent - and that they were waiting to use the immediacy and intimacy of Yahoo Messenger - I might not have read or responded to an email straight away - and they knew I was working all day on Saturday - so they waited until they could use YM on the Sunday - no webcam - easy for Marivien to pretend that Mayen was not there - easy for Mayen to write the "Hi Timmy?" email herself - just using each others accounts.

So - on the Sunday I get an invitation to add Marivien on the messenger - she has sent me an email, using Mayen's account - I hastily add Mayen again to my list of email addresses and take her name from the block list - reply to Marivien asking her to resend it.

Subject: Blood transfusion Sat 11 Aug 2007 18:48 -0700 (PDT)

Hi Timmy?
Good day?
I just got your email now!
This is Marivien Friend of Mayen.
She ask me to check her email & to inform you also that she have blood transfusion yesterday.
She ask me to inform you that she need money for hospitalization & medicine.
Please call at her celphone ASAp.
Thanks & godbless,
Marivien Jalos

Marivien

Marivien and I have a chat session - Mayen is conveniently in touch with her via cellphone.
Apart from the small talk - remember I am trying to find out what is going on - without spoiling my patch with Mayen if it does all unfortunately turn out to be true - these events are really happening - and they're all really nice people.
I say that I can't talk to Mayen on the phone - it is too distressing.
I need to know what the hospital bill will be before I can assess whether I can still afford the visit in 3 days time - I have the plane ticket already but there is spending money for a fortnight to consider.

Here is an extract from our chat, Mayen is allegedly in hospital - but I think it's plain to see that Marivien is trying to cover the fact that Mayen is actually right beside her.

v: okey.tim mayen txt me right now that she need money for the hospitalization.please rely it to you she said
v: mayen ask if your at home or at the internet cafee?
[Curious - if this is a casual remark, is it the sort of thing that anyone would bother texting? If it was important - why? To ascertain whether or not I needed to proceed in secrecy at home, opening a door for blackmail?]
t: thank you - I need to know the total amount due - not just the deposit or the blood transfusion - please can you get that information?
t: I am at home
t: I got really scared that what my friends were telling me might be true - just a week after me paying for Mayen's new lodgings.
v: okey tim mayen call me right now more or less
v: P50,000 thousand pesos i dont know the exact amout due beacause im at the office right now.
t: OK - thank you - how shall this be sent?
t: or can it wait until I see if I can still bring it in person on Wednesday?
v: I understand what u said but i know Mayen loves you very much tim
t: tell her "mWaaaaaaaaah"
t: can you tell me how I get the money to the hospital?
v: mayen call me please sent it tru Western Union you can send it to my name because mayen cant go claim
t: and you will take it to the hospital?
v: Yap
t: ok - be careful
t: you will get a receipt from them please?
v: okey thanks tim .This is my Complete name Mxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx.celphone number xxxx-xxxxxxx
v: yap i will do it.Thanks for the trust
t: thank you Marivien.
t: but if i send it Monday when the WU office is next open - you won't gwt it untill Wednesday
v: later afternoon if sir Francis visit to the hospital we ask a favor to barrow his laptop so that mayen & you can chat
t: there is a 36 hour hold on money to the Philippines
v: ah okey
t: I might as well bring it myself
v: ah okey i ask mayen about that .okey
t: ok - thank you
v: okey you very much welcome tim
t: Ask the hospital to send me an invoice by email - mailto:xxxxxxxxx@ - then I can send it to them Monday by eloctronic transfer straight to their account - the quickest way - yah?
v: okey tim i txt mayen regarding that
t: will Mayen still be at the hospital on Wednesday?
v: i dont know yet tim.i ask him or talk her doctor after out @ the office
t: thank you - ask who?Sir Francis?
v: your welcome
t: So will you please do that Marivien - sorry to burden you with all this - please tell the hospital that they must send me an invoice via email. I will get the money transferrd electronically to their account.
v: okey
t: you have my email there anyway in Mayen's mail application - he, he
v: okey i add you also om my email list .okey il email you any updates dont worry
v: hehhe
t: I read your email now - please pass on my love to Mayen - thank you so much for the time Marivien - hope to see you on Wednesday if I can still afford the trip.
v: lets pray for early recovery of mayen.
v: okey

That is how things remain at the moment.
I can cut off contact at any time - for my own peace of mind though - I need to try to find out, with as much certainty as possible - the truth about what is going on.
I am most concerned that I may be skuttling under the shield of my own and other people's cynicism - hiding away from my responsibility in its shadow - an act of cowardice.

But what a dilemma - wanting to have faith in the love I felt, but now suspecting that very same love to have been groomed from the start for the purpose of this scam. If I succumbed to blind faith - not listening to caution - that would be playing right into their hands - but is that also what true love would do? The whole of our planned future depended on me finding out the truth and I had very little time before my flight.

What had just occurred revealed how the plan was supposed to have unfolded - but now they realise that I am asking for proof, to deal with this through the proper channels - I haven't swallowed the bait, hook, line & sinker.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

ARCHIVES - NAVIGATION - LINKS - STATISTICS - BELOW.

Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 19 - Decision time

Journey 18

Monday 13th August

No sleep for me Sunday night - heavy discussions here at home - my wife being thoroughly wonderful throughout - understanding the emotional pressure I am now under - even offering to help pay for some of this from her own savings.

Things kick off again internationally - early in the morning - remember they are seven hours ahead of UK time.

At 5:34 am UK time, I send two emails marked URGENT to the hospital.
They have never been replied to.

I'm certain that at first this was intended to be just a simple and quick scam for money - but it had started to go wrong for them.

Here is an extract from a chat - the last one we had before the hospital incident. We were making arrangements for my visit the following week. I think Mayen has to do some quick covering up - the fact that she is friends with the money changer in BF Homes (where her old room was) after only 2 occasions that I had sent her money via WU.

tim: I'll try to change my money at the airport
mayen: why?
tim: save us having to go into Makati
mayen: is there any travellers check in iarport
mayen: money changer?
tim: I don't know - but as it's only for the flight - I might just bring British Pounds
tim: I'm sure there are money changers there
mayen: we will still go in makati
tim: yah?
mayen: i have friend in a money changer
mayen: in Bf
tim: we know where to go now
mayen: YES I HAVE THE ADDRESS
tim: he he
mayen: in makati
mayen: and i have friend also in bf
mayen: money changer
tim: but not for traveller's cheques?
mayen: they have western union there
tim: yah?
mayen: no traveller's check
tim: nope
mayen: i usually get your money their in western union that's why we are freinds
mayen: hehehe

That last remark and then the usual nervous laughter reveals a certain anxiety about what she had told me.

I hadn't seen it clearly at the time - I was about to become blinded by my own cloud of dust - if I had either walked away or payed up - which is probably what most people would do in this situation - the gang would have not had to go to such extreme lengths to fabricate their own innocence, by producing the evidence of legitimacy that I insisted on seeing.

It was only the depth of my love for Mayen, hoping still for a future together and the absolute necessity I felt to discover the truth - one way or the other - to find out once and for all if I should invest any more trust in Mayen - resolve my guilt - or to face up to my obligations - that kept me forging ahead on this painful trail.
My love, all be it for a phantom that was becoming more and more unreal, was not going to vanish overnight.

Yes - above all - this was about a human relationship - two people - professing a deep love - who had shared that love.
How could any further hellos or even a final goodbye happen until the truth were found?
Everything was in suspension - time, evolution for this love, was now standing still.
This was not so much about recriminations or blame - as far as I was concerned - it was about finding that true peace of the soul again - either way - a hello or a goodbye - words of understanding, forgiveness or of a most sincere and regretful apology could only be spoken when that truth was finally, unquestionably found.

Marivien appears on the messenger. She wants me to write an email to Mayen which she will print out and deliver to the hospital - I pass over my flight details - which Mayen had already received but Marivien needed to know as she was going to meet me at the airport.

13/08/07 03:54 am

v: Hi tim!
v: Good day?
tim: hi there marivien - what's the news?
v: Mayen ask when is your flight from UK? What is the exact time arrival her in philippines so that she get taxi for you & i be the one wait for you at the airport.please let me know
tim: I don't know yet if I can still afford to come marivien - I have this large hospital bill to pay - I will have no spending money
v: Mayen getting better but she still transfer 1bag of blood
tim: We need to get the hospital businees dealt with as a matter of priority - today - before I can know what I can do.
v: please email me your message for mayen so that i cant print it
tim: So please get them to send me an invoice - today - it is urgent.
tim: ok - I'll do that Marivien - I send you a message to Mayen.
v: okey for now dont have the exact bills because i came late evening yesterday
tim: They need to be sent to me from the hospital - directly to me via email - today please.
v: i dont know yet the exact bills because i know yet when the exact date she out for the hospital.
v: okey
tim: It is the last day I have to do anything before my flight on Tuesday morning.
v: okey email me all your message for mayen il print it then bring to the hospital so that she can read it
tim: See if Mayen has kept the email I sent her with all the flight details
tim: if not I'll resend it to you.
v: okey send it to me il print it now.
v: thanks
tim: ok - hold on a moment
v: okey
tim: It is now confirmed as GULF AIR - all the way - via Bahrain.
Flight GF2 to Bahrain. Flight GF154 Arrive Manila WEDNESDAY 15th August 10:35 am
return flight Flight GF157 departs Manila TUESDAY 28th August 18:25 pm.
v: GULF AIR?
tim: So I am leaving UK very early Tuesday morning - have to be at the airport at about 7:30 am
tim: yah Gulf Air
tim: why?
tim: you ask?
v: GULF air?what that?
tim: an airline
tim: Arabian Airline
v: okey.tim mayen call just right now asking if your okey she worried why you din't call her
tim: I will send you a message for Mayen
tim: I need the invoice from the hospital
tim: today - please
v: okey il print it .il go at the hospital before lunch .its near at GRami hotel thats why i can go there hehe
tim: yah - I remember seeing the hospital when I was there
tim: I'll get on with the email then - thanks again for your time Marivien.
v: okey so email your message i will print it now as soon as i recieve.okey
v: welcome my friend
tim: Marivien - are you religious?
v: yap
v: why?
v: mY mother is a religion teacher?
tim: can you swear to me before The Almighty that this is not simply an elaborate scam for money?
v: that what?dont send long message tim because i use old YM i cant read it all
tim: can you swear before The Almighty
tim: that this is not simply
tim: an elaborate scam for money?
v: oh i swear the money is for the mayen bills tim
tim: I am very, very worried
tim: very, very worried indeed
tim: not only if it's true
tim: but if it's not true
tim: I am worried on both counts
tim: you see - it is all down to trust
v: oh i understand what you feel
tim: yah - all trust?
tim: these sort of things do go on - yah?
v: okey its a big trials i pray that god has a great plan for both of you
tim: I find it hard to believe - having met you all
tim: you are all nice people
tim: but by implication if it is a scam
tim: you are all involved
tim: Adelaide, Chots, yourself, Sir Francis - the hospital
tim: it's hard to believe
v: Thanks tim, no its not. hope you could come her so that you could see mayen at the hospital
tim: but that doesn't prove anything
[Slightly confused at this point - thinking of a laparoscopy.]
tim: the operation doesn't leave any scars
tim: and by that time I will already be over there - completely at you mercy
tim: I am so, so worried Marivien - I have faith
tim: it's easy to say - trust, have faith
tim: but in the face of all this
tim: it is a very severe test
tim: and Ectopic Pregnancy is the perfect vehicle for extortion - yah?
tim: are you still there Marivien?
v: yap sorry there someone call me
v: at the phone
tim: ok
v: i cant see a scarrs beacuese there a bandage
tim: and even so - I won't be able to see either
v: okey
tim: and if it is only a small incision anyway - a Laparoscopy
tim: so how can it be proved to me that it is not a set up?
tim: Marivien - I am so worried - and so mixed up
tim: I really really love Mayen
v: no tim its not a set up much better if you could come so that you can see the situation of mayen
tim: we were planning to marry
tim: I don't know if I can afford to come though now
tim: I have very little money until my house is sold
v: okey so please email all your messages for mayen.okey I will print it all so that she can read it
v: okey i know i & understand tim that you love mayen .
v: she love you also very much that why she cried every now in then when the baby lost
tim: It is so difficult for me to talk with her on the phone
tim: I am so confused
tim: I will only upset her more
tim: I will send you an email when we finish - but please try
tim: to prove that it is true to me, please try
tim: although if it is a scam - even you are involved
v: okey tim il just do this for mayen because i know she need me beacuse all of her family is in the province so please dont think negative
v: she called me right now ask me to call you on her celphone or on the hospital she cried tim please call her
tim: I cannot talk to her - it will make things worse -
tim: she is upset already - my heart is twisted into a knot
v: okey.so please email your message for mayen.She cried when she call me i said dont cry because its not good for her situation
v: okey.i will open it & print before i go at the hospital before lunch.
tim: ok marivien - I will do it now - thank you for the time
v: okey thanks you tim
v: bye for now
tim: I am sorry I feel like I do - please understand my situation
v: okey i understand tim.dont think any negative gods know all that are true.
tim: yah - I wish He would come and tell me - he, he
v: yah.
tim: talaga
v: talaga
tim: totoo
v: totoo lahat sinasabi ko
tim: ?
tim: my Tagalaog isn't that good, he, he
v: means all i said to you is true
tim: aha - thank you - and likewise
v: okey i understand
tim: ok - I write to Mayen - bye for now - xxx
v: okey your welcome
tim: your email address . . . ?
v: okey il wait
tim: v*********@yahoo.com
v: v********@yahoo.com
tim: yah - salamat po

A text message arrive from Sir Francis . . .

SMS from Sir F sent 11:25 Aug 13
Hi tim, wil b n hosptal abt 3pm to c f we can take out mayen. I hope we can talk
latr wen evrythng s settld.

Another two arrive shortly after:

SMS from Sir F. Aug13 11:48
Tim, thx 4 ur email.I hope all wil end wel. If u r ariving tom,
fine-u can personaly settle mayen's bil. F not arivng soon, u can either
deal with hospital direct thru email & settle with them drekly
then pay me my advances latr ordposit to my hsbc $ savngs acct
no.19087736437 £968 whch s d total hospital statemnt plus my advances.Ur
dcision.

SMS from Sir F Sent 11:48 Aug 13
I'm trying to understand d situation but I'm slowly getting d facts right.Many
things hav occured dat i didn't knw abt.
Anyway, i hope i don't get left hold* some text missing* [holding the baby? - not very tactful.]

So - in response to the knowledge that I have insisted on dealing with the Hospital directly - Sir Francis joins in to reassure me of the legitimacy of it all - in fact as early as this Monday morning - he already has precise knowledge of the amount owed to the hospital and tries to be casual about the method of payment - unusual to include his own bank account details though.
So they've had this information all day - but sit on it until the last moment possible to send the figures to me - while I still have time to visit the bank.

I get a call on my cellphone from Sir Francis.
He has a very paternal air, saying that this is a wake up call for both Mayen and myself - he knew nothing about Ectopic Pregnancy before all of this - Mayen was one of his favourite girls - a bit young, hot-headed - but tenacious and ambitious - her family were being no help, they couldn't even inform the hospital of Mayen's blood group - he told me there were several things going on that he hadn't known before - he wasn't aware of the fact that I was not yet divorced - he wasn't aware that Mayen had asked me to pay for her new room.
He said something about how the girls aren't used to seeing such a lot of money and go a bit out of control.
He is obviously concerned about the payment of the hospital bill - he has paid certain moneys as deposit - I tell him that I initially was expected to send the money via Western Union to be picked up by Marivien - he said "Oh that is a stupid idea."
He is probably more concerned because now I insist on dealing directly with the hospital - no photocopies - no scanned images - I want the hospital accounts department to deal with me via my email which I had instructed Marivien to pass on to them.
He tells me that my suspicions are very insulting to anyone from the Philippines - but I say that he surely must understand my cause for suspicion - this sort of thing does happen - and this is showing all the classic signs.

There was no attempt to quell my fears rationally. I said "I have already met all of you and can't believe that any of you were capable of such a thing" - but then - that is the nature of a confidence trick - they are expert at gaining my trust and confidence - something they had implicitly up until this point.
Well - to be honest - I gave Mayen the benefit of the doubt - I have had my suspicions about her, which have grown apace with my hopes - in almost equal proportions. In fact my vacillation has been due to both possibilities being in equal balance - genuine relationship or scam - the slightest change of conditions could send my mind from believing one to being convinced in the other.

I had replied to Sir Francis in a long email stating my reasonable suspicions again, also I emphasised that I was absolutely willing to honour my moral obligation, providing I could be convinced I wasn't being cheated or lied to, but that I had met them all and found it hard to believe - and ended up by saying I should come and see for myself.
He replied with:

Mon 13 Aug 2007 16:37 - 0700 (PDT)

I agree Tim, come & see for yourself what is going on here. I was with Mayen,
her brother & Vien in the hospital last night- you should be here to as soon as
possible to solve the problem.

Also I send one to Mayen via Marivien - including the following poem hopefully expressing my total confusion. I had written it in an earlier period of doubt but had thought twice about sending it - but right now - it seemed perfectly appropriate.

The mighty kampilan
Has cleft me through,
Clean from head to toe,
The keenest edge,
Both swift and sure,
Has sliced me up
With single blow.
A fair duality now there lies,
For once a mind and soul unties
Each will walk alone.

Two roving eyes
That don't combine
Impaired in vision,
Out of line.
This pair of me
Cannot unite,
Despairing in their lack of sight,
Colours fade and disappear,
The world, unclear,
If black or white.

My email to Mayen asked her to stop the emotional hyperbole - quit cursing me and accusing me of deserting her - for heaven's sake I still have a flight booked - try and evaporate my fears a bit more rationally please. Was I to prove to her that I was stupid? Did she want to marry someone who could be rash and irresponsibly blinded by his love?

I said that we were not the guilty ones but were suffering from the acts of people who did these despicable things.
In answer to her pleas for me to "Just trust me as I trust you" I said that trust is perhaps a lot easier (for her) when there is no serious risk or financial obligation attached.
The emotional risk - presumably - we both shared equally - wasn't it therefore in our mutual interest to sort this out speedily & civilly?
I also repeated that I would only deal with the hospital directly - I knew by now that the whole team were trying to keep track of each communication I made.
I think they were all quite confident that I would fly out there - maybe that explains the lack of urgency in their response - providing that I had the cash with me when I arrived - everything else could be handled, they thought, as it arose.

Marivien was to deliver the email to Mayen at lunch time - I knew that Sir Francis was visiting the hospital at 3:00pm (PH time.)

Despite me having given Marivien the information the previous day - that I would only deal directly with the hospital - nothing was done until the last minute - I felt that me wanting to deal only with the hospital was somehow awkward for them.

Flurries of SMS messages from Mayen - trying to find out if I was still coming, but also playing heavily on my guilt, my responsibility - the only means she had at her disposal - to ensure as much as she could that I did "come home." But remember they all want to know this - if there is a crime going on here - it's a highly organised one.

SMS from Mayen Sent 12:35 Aug 13

timmy pls believe me, f u luv me pls be here, y dnt u do th!s to me . . this d
moment dat i nid u but u turn away.
and ds s so hard 4 me.
...................

SMS from Mayen Sent 15:20 Aug 13

timy pls be home, im tired, dn't knw wat to do.pls dnt do th1s to me.
...................

SMS from Mayen Sent 16:04 Aug 13

timy juz wait, marivien s thr n d acountimg to get d invoive. . its stil in the
acounting
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent16:47 Aug 13

ds s d worst th!ng dat ever hapend 2 me, and it hurts, coz u stil hav doubts in me..
sir f loves me coz he nvr leave me.. but ur r turning away.
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 16:50 Aug 13

he is here, we talked and i feel ashamed, coz hes not supposed to be involved in
ds situation coz ds s our problem.
im sufering with al ds.
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 17:09 Aug 13

they are gone now, they got d bil and email it to u right now ...im alone in ds
rom huhu.heartaches, pain i feel ryt now.
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 17:20 Aug 13

i cnt help but cry evrytime i think dat u stil dont trust me.f u luv u shud
trust. like wat i do 2u.
pls be home timmyboy i need u.
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 17:44 Aug 13

u tel me f ur coming home coz sir francis ask me coz of d hospital bil. but pls
i want u 2 come home, please i nid u. i luv u.
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 17:59 Aug 13

timy sir f wants 2 knw, coz if u cnt come he wil deal d bil first.coz he wil
setle h!s budget also.pls tel me..
or tel sir f as son as posible

[There's a solution - but it never gets mentioned again though]
..................

SMS from Mayen Sent 18:20 Aug 13

timy i ask d nurse the original copy is in d acounting. the xerox s with
marivien, coz she wil email u.. is it not enough?
i ask also d billing section 2 email it 2 u, but close already. maybe tomorrow i
wil try

[That explains why they were delaying - yeah - send it tomorrow when I'm
already on the plane.]
.................

SMS from Mayen Sent 18:23 Aug 13

timy.. pls be home, marivien wil be email u d bil. pls trust me..im telin u d
truth swear to GOD..
its already 630 pm here. please believe me.
.................

SMS from Mayen Sent 18:57 Aug 13

she took rest, my brother seaman is here with me now.nursing with me..jaz arivd
frm d province..

So - here we have Mayen, her brother, her sister, Sir Francis, Marivien - all at the hospital - all knowing the urgency of my request that I deal only with the hospital - none of them able to convince the hospital to send me an email? Something really strange is going on.

I notice now that there is no mention at all of the future excuse that they are to use - that the hospital doesn't trust me & is refusing to deal with me, or the matter of confidentiality.

I told them that I wasn't sure if I could afford the trip as well as fulfilling my obligation to pay the hospital bill - I needed to know the amount involved before I could assess that - and I needed to know before the banks closed in the afternoon as I was flying out there early the following morning.
I sent another SMS to Marivien saying "No photocopies, no scanned images" - I needed to verify as much as possible that this was all actually true.
I realised that here I had a bit of leverage over the situation - if this was a scam, they obviously wanted me to arrive with cash - but I needed the information urgently - not really much time for them to prepare a convincing "bogus" invoice.

At around the time that the hospital was closing down office business for the day I get an email from Marivien containing the details of the hospital invoice. This is it - as I received it - not very convincing is it? - and as has been pointed out to me - they need a better accountant.

August 13,2007
Medical Center Paranaque
Sucat Paranaque
Tel.No.(s);(632)825-6911-15
Email:mcptri-isys.com

Tim,
I seem to have problem scanning the bills I got from Medical Center Paranaque but hereunder is the summary;

1) Deposit made by FMJ******* Aug. 10, 2007 - P10,000.00
2) Advances made by FMJ******* Aug. 11 & 12
for blood & day to day expenses - 4,500.00
3) Doctor's fees 40,000.00
Anesthetiologist 16,000.00
other doctors 1,552.00
4) Hospital bills of P27,061.39 less P10,000dep &
P375.70 pd. in cash by Mayen 16,685.69
P88,737.69

I'll do best to have the hospital email you directly the billings. Please note that if the P74,237.69 balance as of today is not settled, it will be hard to have Mayen released.
Thanks
Marivien

I immediately phone the hospital using the information I had found on their website.
I spoke to the duty nurse - emphasizing discretion - that I suspected I was being scammed into paying a bill - could she verify that there was such a patient there and that these figures were correct.
She kindly offered to check with the accounts dept. Oh - there's someone still there then? I was to phone back in 15 minutes.
I prayed that this would bring it all to a conclusion - that she would tell me that there was no such patient - no such invoice had been raised.

I phone her back - she confirms it all - the patient - the figures on my email all tally.
So - again I swing back to having to believe it all - I am facing my responsibility - I'm going to have to fly the next day - drain my bank account - the amount is near to £1,000.00 - plus some spending money - I don't care - it is my obligation - my duty.
I send an SMS to Mayen asking if she still wanted me to come. Sir Francis had told me that Mayen might discharge herself prematurely - so I insisted to her that she stay there until I arrived.

Her replies:

SMS from Mayen Sent 19:50 Aug 13

yes i want to see u. please come home..we wil fix th!s th!ngs..i luv u so
much.il wait 4 u here in d hospital. ok mwaah

.....................

SMS from Mayen Sent 20:43 Aug 13

timmyboy i wil sleep now, so stressed this day. i luv u so much. be home soon,
mwaah.
il be waiting 4 u okay.let me know d flight details..be safe

I try to think of ways to raise some money, some support and most importantly, some company for when I arrive at Manila - I phone the Sun newspaper - a human interest story - but no interest from them and the phone very tersely slammed down on me after a brief explanation.

I phone another "sell-your-story" contact - ask her to read the story so far on this blog. She is interested but cannot help financially at such short notice.

Now I am becoming extremely worried about my security when I arrive in Manila - if this is a scam - they are all in on it - including some people at the hospital - they already know that I'm suspicious - and determined to deal with the hospital through the proper channels - who will in fact meet me at the airport, where will I be taken?

I had already been prepared for Mayen wanting to discharge herself prematurely - I had already been told that Sir Francis wanted to settle up. I imagined a scenario on my arrival - Mayen nowhere to be found - my having to deal with a debt to Sir Francis - and being prevented from going anywhere near the hospital - unable to check the authenticity of anything - or the accuracy - and carrying a big bundle of cash.
That's why Sir Francis had to be involved - he was the only person in the gang able to pay the hospital fees and deposits - to lend it credibility.

Again I phone around for some help - the Philippine Embassy in London - lovely music for half an hour - not much help really.
I phone the tourism branch of the Foreign Office - more helpful - suggest I phone the British Embassy in Manila - I have - but it's night time over there - no response.
They did have an emergency out of hours cellphone number however - so I ring that - speak to an English girl - thank goodness - I feel that I can trust her.
I explain the situation - she understands the danger - can't really help - it's my decision whether to go or not.
As if I didn't realise - the weight of this decision - an absolutely critical point in my life.
I post a couple of urgent messages to online "Internet scam" sites - obviously - although they did reply very quickly, it wasn't in time to help with this decision.

Girding my loins, gritting my teeth - my love for Mayen wins the day - I head off to town - draw the money from the bank - get the traveller's cheques.

No sleep for days - I am in need of some help - essentially from someone who can sympathise with both sides of my situation. I call at the church where I was married - a warden gives me the phone number for the vicar - and I ring him up telling him that I am in urgent need of spiritual guidance, a bit of confession and hopefully a blessing for my journey.
He drives down to meet me in the church office.
I am extremely emotional and fight to hold back my tears - the pressure is immense inside of me.
I start to explain the scenario - my cellphone rings - it's my wife - "Have I drawn out all the money - am I still going?"
I continue explaining things to the vicar telling him that from my point of view my relationship with Mayen has been miraculous - I find him wonderfully comforting - he is totally sympathetic and seriously understands my predicament and my concern over personal security. "The heart has its own reasons" he tells me.
He suggests various options - but the cost of another air fare at a later date is out of the question and I don't want to keep Mayen on her own in this time of need.
So I am not to venture outside the security of the airport - seek assistance immediately and get taken to the British Embassy in Manila - don't proceed with any transactions without an unbiased witness - only deal with the hospital.
He says a wonderful prayer for me and asks me to visit him when I return.
I leave - full of resolve - perfectly calm and inspired - feeling brave yet cautious - once again treading the path of love.

There has to be one path or another - in order to proceed - it is impossible to follow both at once - fear or love.

So before going home I visit my dear friend who has offered me so much wisdom and support throughout.
I am going to say to him, despite his best advice to me - "I am going to fly to Manila in the early morning" - I'm going to say " Thank you for your help - but farewell."

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 20 - A friend indeed

Journey 19

Let me introduce you to my friend - Jim.
It was his suggestion that I revisit the Philippines - for a second opinion, convinced that the beautiful picture of romance that I had been painting for him would start to show a few cracks.
Jim has first hand experience - previous encounters with racketeers - the Mafia.
Perhaps not on such a global scale as the Mafia - in downtown Manila - but we are essentially dealing with the same sort of underworld. A cocktail of prostitution, money laundering and extortion.

We examined the whole of my journey so far with a forensic eye for detail - and it is clear that not only have we discovered and fulfilled the criteria for guilt in Civil Law - "In the balance of probability" - but also those for Criminal Law "Beyond reasonable doubt."

Unwittingly - in complete ignorance - I have stumbled into a nest of vipers.
It would seem to us that we have the boss man - Sir Francis - with his teams of girls, trawling the internet from dating sites - luring folk into parting with their money on all sorts of false pretences.

The only reason this is so successful is because the men have been duped, fooled into thinking that there was a genuine relationship happening - and are therefore highly emotionally involved - feeling great responsibility to the girls of their dreams.

Starting out with requests for small amounts - to prime the pump, as it were - and test the willingness of their victim - gradually escalating to larger and larger sums - who knows where it could end - how much it could net for these fraudsters - all neatly tied in to a real estate business.
Indeed - in my plans with Mayen we had discussed the purchasing of property - I had been shown condominiums, either already built or "off plan." I know that some, if not all of these, were directly connected to her business.

Considering that the law prohibits foreigners owning land, the alliance between a real estate business and dating sites seems like a marriage made in heaven.
Who knows what devious ways they would have found to rid me of more and more money - real estate purchasing in the Philippines is a mine-field of potential hazards for the unwary even with a legitimate business. Now we have uncovered the possible association between Tierra Maria (certainly the Marketing Manager) and racketeering - the credentials of this particular company are not looking enticing at all.

I had met up again with Sir Francis in Hounslow UK in July, at a Barrio Fiesta - thinking at the time that Mayen was pregnant - anticipating my next visit to see her. He was there representing Tierra Maria Estates. I discovered him sitting inside a tent with various other real estate companies from the Philippines. I had set up a web site at Sir Francis's invitation - to expand the marketing exposure into the UK - and went along to pick up the latest specifications and prices.
It is so hard for me to believe that this man, who I had a lot of respect for, was pulling such a big confidence trick on me.

Click here for the psychology of scammers.

Jim and I talk well into the night - and I end up by handing him my passport and traveller's cheques - to prevent myself from going. I know that the pendulum will swing back to the love I have for Mayen - but I am scared. After all - they know my flight details - they are expecting me to arrive in Manila carrying a wad of cash - I don't know who would have met me at the airport - where I might have been taken - Mayen probably nowhere to be found - me with a private debt to Sir Francis, who no doubt would try to prevent me from verifying anything with the hospital - or if I did, I would just be following a paper trail of falsehood.

I decide to remain here in the UK - still confused - all we have is circumstantial - scam or genuine? How can we find proof positive? Will I be tortured by doubt for the rest of my days? I truly love Mayen - if I have deserted her in her hour of need - I shall live haunted with regrets. A love as beautiful as this has been - surely will not visit me again?

Now the big question for me is - who is the real Mayen? What sort of personality has she really?
I am certain now that with me, Mayen was plotting, working towards this final scam, as far back perhaps as day one.

On her own - with her friends - I'm sure she is as charming as I found her to be.
I saw her in her work environment - amongst her co-conspirators.
I saw her in her home environment, where she showed me off as a trophy - and her family seemed happy at every opportunity for me to be the provider.
Judging from the attitude of the family towards me, there is no excuse here that Mayen had been seduced into this lifestyle under duress - far from it - her association with Sir Francis seemed to lend her an inflated sense of status - work that she undertook with relish, completely ignoring any consequences to me.

I quote from The Lonely Planet.

"Filipino families protect their own, the public good be damned. This explains many things that observers often cite as "wrong" with the country; it explains why rich, powerful clans are content to build huge fortunes while turning a blind eye to shocking poverty . . . and it explains why the best qualified are passed over in favour of the well connected when applying for jobs."

Does it explain lies or extortion? What can I believe about Mayen?

I heard stories from her tragic past - her struggle to be honourable to her family - how did she end up in this situation - part of this set up?
How can people become so impoverished, financially - emotionally - ethically - that this is even seen as an option by a young, bright, zestful and attractive girl?
For she is all that - but those things are immediate - on the surface - what is going on at a deeper level - in her heart?
Is love a luxury she simply cannot afford herself to indulge in?

In a very true sense - she was selling her body, her emotions - condemming them both to become merely tools of her trade - no longer essential parts of her personal liberty - but plain prostitution has more honour than extortion by these means.
To carry out such a scam as this with her obvious relish and enthusiasm - reveals sociopathic behaviour - in the full knowledge of how devastating the results can be - financially - and the cruel price that is paid emotionally.
The level of conscious, manipulative deception is something that really shocks me - and I was deceived - truly - by the sweetest, tastiest honey.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 21 - Non-arrival

Journey 20

On the Tuesday - although I am not peaceful at all within myself - I get no disturbing messages or emails from the Philippines.
They think I'm in the air somewhere between Heathrow and Manila.
I am expected to land in Manila airport - precisely 4 months, almost to the hour since I first met Mayen online in April.

Wednesday morning, at exactly the time my plane was due to land, I get a barrage of SMS on my phone from Mayen - unwittingly I hear one word of a voice message that she leaves - one word was enough - I delete the message.
The sound of her voice renders me incapable of rational thought - and perhaps I need a great deal of that from now on.

Possibly they don't know whether I was on the flight or not - I decide to keep them guessing - maybe they'll think that I'm lurking in Manila somewhere - checking things out - secretly - in which case Mayen may well be tucked up and tightly bandaged, in a bed provided by the hospital.
Up until now, they have been quite content to be the go-betweens for me and Mayen, never once suggesting that I contact the hospital directly, only Mayen - on her cellphone.
I expect that the original phone calls might well have come from them in the hospital on the Friday - they would have been sure that I would want to phone the hospital on that day for verification. The hospital staff obviously have been told exactly what to say to me should I phone again.

Today, however, they are expecting me to show up - I suspect that Mayen might actually be there again. She told me that her seaman brother was there with her on Monday - just arrived from the province - Sir Francis told me on the Monday that he was with Mayen and her seaman brother the previous night. Later on - in an email - he tells me that Mayen's seaman brother has been with her in the hospital since Wednesday. Now they start encouraging me to phone the hospital.

I receive two emails from Sir Francis, sent early morning PH time, Thursday 16th August - the tone of both are insulting and vaguely threatening. The first one was CC'd to Mayen.

Hi Tim,

Everybody was expecting you to arrive yesterday. As of now, I understand that Mayen is still stuck in the hospital & you have not showed up. Where do we go from here? I hope there is a good explanation for your delay. I'm told that your celphone does not answer either. I'm still hoping that there will be a happy ending to this episode.

Tim,
Mayen now thinking that you might never come. Please advise what we are to do
now?
If there is no logical explanation for your delay and unfounded suspicions, then
I think you are an animal of the worst kind.

Thursday I get the following offline message from Marivien on Yahoo Messenger.

vhienne (8/16/2007 11:07:38 AM): tim good day?
vhienne: mayen still at the hospital right now?
vhienne: please directly comunicate with here or to the hospital .She's waiting for you?
She needs you right plese call here.
vhienne: She always cried because she expect you come to see here.
vhienne: Please call here
vhienne: Thanks so much.

So I reply - still pretending that I might be in Manila - and also implying that I might not be alone. Still between a rock and a really hard place - I don't want to lose Mayen - if this all turns out tragically to be true.

Tim: The money is no problem - I need a genuine invoice from the hospital.
Tim: *Invoice No.
Tim: *Patient ID
Tim: *Doctor's name & licence No.
Tim: *Anesthetiologist's name & licence No.
Tim: My email to the hospital has not been answered.
Tim: I have the cash - up to P100,000 - I can't get any more - I have no credit card.
Tim: When all these conditions are met we will surface.
Tim: The invoice should be a numbered invoice on hospital headed paper - in other words legitimate.
Tim: It must be sent to me by the hospital - directly.
Tim: You have had my email address since Sunday.
Tim: Please send all my love to Mayen - and say "Better safe than sorry - mWaaaaaaaaaah"
Tim: The invoice will itemise all medications, drugs, treatments etc

Marivien replies - more excuses for why nothing can be done about the hospital getting directly in touch with me.

vhienne: okey il tell all of that to mayen
vhienne: i ask here before to tell the hospital to send all the invoice of the bills she had a copy of this
vhienne: i will print all of your offline messages & emails then give to mayen
vhienne: il give it to maye tomorrow because theres a typhoo here i cant go there coz of flood
vhienne: commuicate directly to mayen she in the hospital she waiting for you.
vhienne: I email to your here messages.
vhienne: She txt me right now that the admin of the hospital half day today because of super typhoon.so please call mayen she is i the hospital.please she waiting for your call.
vhienne: thanks
vhienne: Mayen is waiting for your call please call here i cant visit here now to the hospital coz of super typhoon
vhienne: okey hope you call here .thanks
vhienne: if you love my friend seriously call here directly or call & communicate directly to the hospital...
vhienne: thanks

We checked the local weather in Manila - nothing was mentioned about a Super Typhoon - it looked perfectly normal.
I leave an offline message for Marivien - not using my email - they can trace my whereabouts from the IP address.

Tim: Marivien - hi - please answer the following questions.
Tim: Where is Sir Francis Jalbuena?
Tim: Could you ask him to provide me with:
Tim: Mayen's patient ID.
Tim: The Surgeon's name & licence number.
Tim: The anesthetiologist's name.
Tim: The anesthetiologist's licence number.
Tim: The surgeon's email address.
Tim: The anesthetiologist's email address.
Tim: Also please ask him - why is Mayen still in the hospital?
Tim: We need to know why the hospital have not yet communicated directly with me.

Late Thursday night I have a chat session with Marivien.

vhienne: Mayen dont have money to pay for the hospital bills thats why she cant go out of the hospital.

[Didn't Mayen say that Sir Francis wanted to know if I was coming - something about settling up his account? He must have forgotten - poor Mayen - stuck in hospital - and Sir Francis - who "loves her" - is now refusing to help.]

Tim: They are keeping her in?
vhienne: il tell all you need to mayen yesterday to email directly to you.you communicate directly to mayen @ to the hospital .
You call to the hospital so that the answer to your questions will be answerd im at the office right now
vhienne: yap she is still in the hospital right now please call here
vhienne: or call directly to the hospital.i visit mayen early morning because she has a letter to you.i send to your email right now
Tim: I have written to Sir Francis emails to 2 addresses. I would like him to comply with my simple requests.
Tim: I have no animosity towards you at all.
Tim: mWaaaaaaaaaah
Tim: tell Mayen - I can't stop thinking about her.
vhienne: okey.Communicate direct to mayen & to the hospital .Please call here now.She waiting for your call.
Tim: The hospital must communicate with me - directly - via email - with all the details that I have requested.
vhienne: To erase the doubt in your heart direct communicate to mayen & to the hospital now.Thanks
Tim: I repeat - the hospital must directly communicate with me vis email - with all the details that I have requested.
vhienne: yap.i ask that already to mayen before.I have work thats why i cant talkd to her doctor i visit her after office and the the doctor is already out
vhienne: okey
Tim: I'm sorry Marivien - we need those explicit details - from the hospital directly - via email.
Tim: And I have written to Sir Francis asking him to deal with it - so I am expecting an answer from him very soon.
vhienne: okey.mayen said that mybe the hospital email by tuesday cos saturday & sunday dont have admin office then monday its a holiday her in philippines
vhienne: okey.thanks for the time
Tim: thank you Marivien - bye for now - please pass on my love to Mayen - tell her to enjoy the rest.

Still no mention of the "patient confidentiality" that is to feature so heavily in all of their excuses later on.

So it looks as if the hospital are planning on extending Mayen's stay until the bill is payed, despite hints that Sir Francis might have wanted to settle up. This was normal practice in the Philippines across the board until recently - as you can see from - Republic Act 9439 - now, however, even since the passing of this Act, it still does not apply to private rooms.
It seems very odd that there should be this distinction between the public hospitals and the private ones - which are run as businesses. If the Act were genuinely in the interests of the patients - I would have expected to see it applicable to both - but that's the Philippines for you - I envisage a scene where the advocates of the Act are being lobbied - or bribed - by the private health care businesses - to include a caveat excluding private rooms - to allow them to continue cashing in - detaining patients - making them prisoners until their hospital bills are paid - such an easy source of extra income.
However - this might not have been a component of the gang's "Plan A" - when I was expected to arrive on the Wednesday - but they're busily working on "Plan B" right now. I'll try and help them exhaust the whole alphabet of plans before I'm through with this.
OK - now couple this with the fact that some Doctors & hospitals have even been defrauding their own Government - claiming subsidies, grants etc. for ghost patients - article - and it makes it, potentially, more lucrative still.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 22 - Try the Embassy

Journey 2

I receive an email from Mayen on the Friday - now a whole week since she was admitted to hospital. The email was physically written by Marivien, using Mayen's email account. No - I didn't send them my address.

August 18,2007
Timmy,
Im worry free now knowing that you're alright. Marivien told me that you left an
offline messages to her.
All i can say is that i have to wait for office days coz the admin of the
hospital is off during saturdays and sundays and this coming monday i doubt if they have o office because its holiday. I tried my best to talked to them but i do nothing.
Timmy the main reason why i never do it the other day because i thought that you
have verified it already.
You are the one who sent me the SMS and you told also that you will come this
wednesday.
I was expecting you but even your shadow never came. Now you are claiming that
your an honourable man, so tell me where is your word of honor.
I have here all the receipts and invoices they are all numbered and legitimate. I
will send it to you through DHL or fast pak.
This is the least i could do while waiting for the office day to open.So please
give me your address.
Timmy, why is this happening to us? Why you let this happen? Why you let other
people motivate you instead of yourself?
Try to examine yourself. No doubt why your not happy with your married life, this
is because you are weak and coward.
Sorry to tell you this but i have to. Now please dont do it to us,dont do it to
our love and to our relationship.
This is the time i needed you most and the time to prove how strong we are. I
want you to be strong and brave.
You are the one who told that we will work as a team. So, where is it now? We
promised we will be honest and respect each other and we will trust,now where is it? Timmyboy, I let you enter my life, open my world to you.
We had a good memories during your first visit. I introduced to you to my family
and to my friends and collegues for you to know me more. I want you to remember them all as i reminisce them. Please dont be blind, dont be deaf, we are destined to be happy the both of us. Why you let yourself live insuspicions and doubts? Are you happy with it?
I swear to God and to the angels in heaven I never lie to you. And Im always be
your bukobaby. I want forget you. All my life i will remember you the scar in my tummy during the operation reminds me of you and to our first angel.
I still love you and trying to understand you. I never change my timmyboy. I hope
it will end well.
Thanks to Marivien the bearer.
Love,
Mayen

I wrote an email to Sir Francis at two of his email addresses - determined that someone get the message that I needed something legitimate from the hospital. I got the impression that the first "quick scam" had gone seriously wrong from their point of view and they were now busying about trying to procure "fake" evidence - trying to fabricate their innocence - because I knew a lot about these people - and it was now apparant to them that I was not going to give up trying to get to the truth - by any means open to me.
I expect they just wished I would disappear.

Friday 17th August

To Marketing Manager, Tierra Maria Estates.
Dear Sir Francis Jalbuena,
We understand that you have kindly made some monetary deposits on behalf of Mr.Timothy Ellis Cumper.
Please would you supply the following information regarding the recent operation on Ma.Ana Samson Betita to relieve an Ectopic Pregnancy at 7 weeks gestation.
1) The name, licence number & email address of the operating surgeon.
2) The name, licence number & email address of the anesthetiologist.
3) The patient ID number for Ma.Ana Samson Betita.
4) The reasons for the above patient still being detained by the Medical Center
Paranaque.
5) A reason for the above hospital failing to make contact with us via email.
6) An estimation of costs to date 17/08/07.
Thanking you in anticipation of a prompt reply.

Sir Francis replied - forgetting conveniently that at first he had suggested that I could deal with the hospital via email. I noticed that the email had been CC'd to Marivien and Mayen and seems to convey an air of relief to begin with - now that they're sure I'm still in the UK, then Sir Francis sinks his teeth in, with an attempt to get even more money from me - Mayen's "lodgings advance" - which disappears in the 2nd email.
Curiously - my email that Sir Francis refers to, in which he deduces that I am in the UK - said nothing about that whatsoever - but the email for help that I had sent that very morning to the British Embassy in Manila, did mention that I was still in the UK - also it hinted that my phone calls to the hospital were possibly being intercepted. An hour later, I receive this email from Sir Francis.
Notice he suggests that I try contacting the British Embassy in Manila.

18th August 7.22 am

Tim,
I't crossed my mind that something terrible happened to you as the reason for
your not being in contact for several days.
As I told you, we were expecting you Wednesday so that you can have a good understanding of the problem you and Mayen got yourselves into. Your email now makes me believe you want to settle your obligations long distance, am I right? [How does he know I'm not in Manila? Has he checked my IP address?]
Anyway, the first thing I want to do is to advise you that the Philippines is a
third world country so don't expect things to be done here as efficiently as they are done in the UK.
As per the requests you have enumerated, I have dispatched Vien again to the
hospital for the nth time to get your requests no. 1 to 3. I had similar requests since last weekend but up to now it seems to have fallen in deaf ears of the hospital staff [a perfect opportunity to tell me that the hospital are refusing to cooperate, because of patient confidentiality, but no - it's because they are deaf] and the ones helping Mayen and Mayen herself- maybe they can't relate to your actuations and it seems that they have fallen into a belief and have faith that you will appear and be the Knight in shining armor helping the lady in distress.
The reason for no. 4 is that nobody here is capable, readily and/or willing to help Mayen pay your obligations and at the same time she has no health insurance- even if she had, her situation will not be covered by the regular health insurance. [I'm not expecting anyone else to pay it - I just want proof from the hospital.]
The nature of her employment does require insurance either and she did not get
one for herself same as in more than 90% of those not covered by local laws for the emloyer to insure their emplyees. Mayen earns on a commission basis and thru my voluntary help was getting food, transpo and lodging allowances.
Mayen has a seaman brother with her now since wednesday in the hospital and I
have advised him to do the ff:

1) transfer to a cheaper room so as to save abt P400/day until problem is
resolved. [This never happened.]
2) Bargain with the doctors about their high fees.
3) Talk to Hospital about deferring payment of hospital bills and fees against
his future salary
(very hard & long shot to be able to do though).

I have extended my capacity to help and it has been more than enough.
It seems that I will just have to be the last if ever to be paid even if you and
Mayen get out of this hole you have placed yourselves in.
I doubt if the hospital has the capacity to do business via email or long
distance. [Well they have - as proved later & as he had first suggested.]
I have requested Vien to try and find out as I did last thursday- I will also
try again myself and I have talked to Mayen's brother about it.
I helped Vien email you a running balance of Mayen's hospital balance a few days ago, it will be more or less the same except that P950/day for the room will be added. According to Vien you have acknowledged receipt of this and even inquired about the advances that I have made.
We will again give you a running balance ASAP. It appears to me that you think
the only thing we do is help you with your problems- please be more considerate. On top of my P14,500 advances, Mayen still owes me another P9,000 more or less in cash advances and lodging deposit which she has not yet refunded. If you have intentions of helping, please do it soon. If not, please disappear from our lives and don't create more havoc by giving us false hope.
You have already destroyed the life of Mayen who will be forever scarred in her
life.
Both of you made your bed, it is turning out to be made of nails rather than
roses.
Why don't you instead request the British Embassy to help you.
I have every intention to make them know about the incident if it is not
resolved soon.

And another charming reply from Sir Francis

Sat 18 Aug 2007 03:43 -0700 (PDT)
Tim,
I am forwarding email of Vien to you that she sent Aug. 13, 2007.
As I said, the billings will be the same except for the additional room billings
that accrued due to Mayen's overstay in the hospital. Vien had success in seeing the doctor who will cooperate in sending you requests no. 1 to 3 and the bills accrued by Mayen but by tuesday yet as monday will be a holiday.
As far as my advances is concerned, you already have the figures I sent you
earlier- It is P14,500 for the hospital alone. I don't know advances made by others but I know the landlady had a few hundred pesos advanced also. I don't want to be brutal about it but consider our celphone conversations ( about 60 minutes) [Ha! 15 minutes, tops - the 1st call was from me to him] my time spent for this incident ( which you can't afford anyway), and the time spent by my people to help Mayen whom I have paid as a blessing.
Again, please settle immediately.

However, on Saturday 18th August 6.28 am I had already sent a first plea for help to the British Embassy in Manila - and received the following reply.

Monday 20th August
Mr. Cumper,
Your email did not state what specific assistance you are seeking from the
British Embassy. If the subject of your request is to help your
girlfriend who is a Philippine national, we are sorry the British Embassy
cannot assist. We suggest you contact the Consular Services of either the
Philippine Embassy in London or the DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) in
Manila.

On the Sunday I was starting to lose my patience with the incompetence of these people in the Philippines - apparantly unable to get any legitimate information to me from the hospital - so I sent the following email to Sir Francis - subject - Time Is Up - and attached a really long list of Philippine Government Agencies, some email addresses of his business associates - indicating that I was about to start sending out emails to these people - outlining my suspicions.
They were also aware that the whole story was being written up and publicly displayed on my MySpace blog - I had sent them all the URL.
After this email was sent - things started to move a little - I started to get some results - all be it undoubtedly fake, fabricated material to try and throw me off the scent of their fraud.

Dear Sir Francis,
This intolerable situation has gone on long enough.
I find complete incompetence in complying with my simple requests to instruct the hospital to communicate directly with me via email about this matter.
For all your sympathy for Mayen it has not amounted to a single jot of real help.
I receive emails that are solely intent on extorting money - there is absolutely no genuine concern for poor Mayen.
I receive emails with cowardly veiled threats - which I suppose is about as far as you dare go.
I have access to the following - via direct email contact - despite the Philippines being, as you say, a third world country.
Perhaps someone, one honest, caring soul among them, may take a grasp of the situation and show me some action.
I resort to contacting them directly because they are apparantly unknown to you.

On Monday 20th Sir Francis replies with -

??? What do you want me to do? Your problem with Mayen can only be solved by yourself and her. I have advanced money, I have requested the hospital to get directly in touch with you, Vien and myself have given you all the facts of the case, I don't understand this particular email.
You said you were coming and you did not. Your best bet is to get in touch with the doctor to help you. I am not in a position to help you any further.

On Sunday 19th August I receive the following information from Sir Francis - and reply to him that I am dealing with it urgently.

Tim,

Hereunder are the answers to your first three requests:
1) Dra. Leonor Leonardo, physician no.******, CP **********, email- *****@*******
2) Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon, anesthesiologist *****, email- *****@******
3) Ma. Ana Samson Betita, patient no. 51546-2007

Dra. Leonardo, per Vien and Mayen is the main cooperator to your requirements ( I understand she was the source of above answers) and is willing to help facilitate your requests 6 and maybe give more answers to your questions 4 & 5. I'm copy furnishing both doctors with your email and this reply of mine.

We discover that the two doctors named appear to be resident at the Medical Center Paranaque - on the hospital website it is possible to access a further page of details for a few names on the list.
Seeing as we were being pointed towards Dr Leonardo - we decided to write to Dr Dizon - another reason for this was that we discovered an alternative email address for Dr Dizon - so the plan was to send our email to the address provided by Sir Francis and ask for confirmation using the email address that we had found.
A good plan - but the confirmation email was bounced back - failed to deliver.
We sent the same list of questions to Dr Leonardo - but have never had a reply - and no failure to deliver message either.
I have written to her again since - still no reply.
Dr Dizon did reply however - although, in our opinion, very unprofessionally - and a lot of the questions we asked were left unanswered.

It is very strange if (as suggested by one commentator) Dr Leonardo didn't get her own, current email address correct - as she was the person who allegedly supplied the information - "the main cooperator to your requirements" - as Sir Francis puts it.

Sunday 19th August
Dear Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon,
My name is Tim Cumper - I understand that you will be expecting an enquiry from me regarding the operation for an Ectopic Pregnancy at 7 weeks gestation - which was performed at the Medical Center Paranaque on Friday 10th August at some time in the afternoon.
I am being held responsible for paying the patient's bill.
I am more than willing to meet my obligation in this matter.
However because of the very strange procrastination that has been taking place around the method of payment I am suspecting that I have become involved in an organised fraud.
My reasons for writing to you are to ask you please to confirm the following information.
* You are Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon.
* Your licence number is 57066.
* You were the anesthesiologist for the above operation.
* You have submitted an invoice for your work and the amount corresponds with that shown below.
* Would you please transmit to us a copy of the above invoice?
* You assisted Dra. Leonor Leonardo as the operating surgeon for the above.
* The patient's name was Ma.Ana Samson Betita.
* By which name is the patient referred to by her friends?
* The patient's Hospital ID number is 51546-2007.
* The patient is still being detained in the hospital subject to her hospital bill being paid.
* Is the patient being detained for any other reason?
* Why has the hospital not yet contacted me at all?
* Which surgical or medical procedure was used in the operation? eg. Laporoscopy etc.
* Had the Fallopian Tube ruptured?
* From the patient's perspective - was it the left or the right Fallopian?
* What is your relationship to Francis M. Jalbuena?
* Could you provide an estimate of costs to the present time?
Please can I stress the urgent nature of these enquiries and humbly ask you for a rapid reply.
Thanking you kindly in anticipation.
Yours sincerely.
Mr Timothy Ellis Cumper
UK

His reply arrived promptly on Monday 20th August - this is all that was said.

Yes,I am the anesthesiologist of Ma.Ana Samson Betita.She was brought to the operating room in severe pain.She was sedated and was given analgesics thru IV.Inducted under regional anesthesia at around 3:45 pm with nurse E.Caballero as surgical nurse and N.Orobia as instrument nurse.On opening up,hemoperitoneum(blood in the peritoneal cavity)more than a liter was suctioned.Operative findigs was ruptured ampulla of the Left fallopian tube.Operation ended at around 4:50 pm.Patient tolerated the procedure well.

Perfectly anonymous and non-incriminating. The IP address for this email came from an untraceable source - named only "Blackhole."As stated before, a litre of blood is a considerable amount.

Ruptures of the ampullary section of the fallopian tube are generally between 8 to 12 weeks gestation. This was six weeks, six days - very early. Anyone can find the sort of information quoted in the email on the Internet. CLICK HERE.

A great deal of this communication is revealing more and more to me at each reading - however, at the time it was happening - I was generally in a blind panic - my heart racing as I received each of them - and still acutely aware of - and haunted by - the onerous possibility that it all might have been true.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 23 - Bill arrives

Journey 22

On Tuesday 21st August - finally - now 11 days since Mayen was admitted to hospital I receive the first notification from the Medical Center Paranaque.

As an attachment to the letter there was a photocopy of a hospital bill.
On thorough examination we noticed a few suspicious details.

* The figures for Professional Fees had been creatively altered, but added up to the same total as the original figures sent from the Tierra Maria office on Monday 13th August, as had the two small amounts of credit from the cash Mayen said she had paid. The sort of thing that is done to make round figures appear more arbitrary. There is no other possible explanation.
* The patient's ID number was different from the one Sir Francis had given me.
* The accounts manager had signed his name over the "Prepared by" field at the bottom of the bill, obscuring the fact that it said "null," indicating that only one person had been involved.

The reply also indicates that my requests to Sir Francis had been passed on & complied with - the doctors details.

Now - the significance of this arriving are nothing to do with the details contained in it - for certain, this was produced by the Accounts manager at the hospital, and he knew what he was doing. It is the fact when it arrived - I was informed by email on Monday 13th August that they were having trouble "scanning the bill from the hospital" - by Tierra Maria Estates - so they allegedly had a bill of some sort in their possession at this time.

Nothing further was sent to me however, until I had started circulating emails, outlining my suspicions to various locations, including Tierra Maria Estates owner, Tony Montinola. At this time I also revealed my blog to them, although it was still being kept private.
Despite Mayen having allegedly already arranged several days previously to have the account payed by "selling the inherited property" - I am sent this JPG of the bill at the same time.
Why? If settling the account has already been arranged - the only reason must surely be to get me off their backs, by trying to prove their innocence.

This is from Medical Center Parañaque, Inc.. We have a patient in the name of Ms. Ma. Ana Samson Betita who was admitted last August 10, 2007, but still with us due to none payment of Hospital Bill and Professional Fees.
Her Attending doctors are as follows:
Dr. Reynaldo S. Dizon
email Address: ****@***.net
License no.: ******
Dr. Leonor Leonardo
email address: *******@*****.com.ph
Licence no: ******
Attached is the Statement of Account of the above patient.
The said statement of account is as of to date only. Daily room rate is P950.00.
Thank you.
From,
Mr. Jaime Landico
Accounting Manager
MEDICAL CENTER PARAÑAQUE, INC.
Dr. A. Santos Avenue, Sucat Road, Parañaque City
Philippines
825-6911 to 15 loc 197
Direct Line: 826-2121
email address: ******@******.com

We noticed that Dr Dizon's licence number is different from that quoted by Sir Francis and that the accounting manager has mis-spelt his own name.

Also, whether significant or not, The accounts manager does not signify that the surgeon was a woman by using the abbreviation, Dra. for the Spanish - Doctora, the feminine of Doctor.

I send a reply to the accounting manager.

To: Medical Center Paranaque.
22/08/07
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your two emails and attached photo-copies.
The current matter is still under investigation.
In the interim - would you please:
* Kindly suggest to us how you require these moneys to be paid.
* Please confirm to us that your signature is to be found on the photo-copy.
* Is your name Mr.Jamie Landico?
* Who is to be found on Direct Line 826 - 2121?
* Please could you supply us with the Direct Line telephone numbers for:
Dr. Virgilio Oblepias - Chairman of The Board of Directors.
Dr. Renato Bernabe - President of The Board of Directors.
Dr. Humberto Villareal - Hospital Director.
We have already contacted the two Doctors allegedly concerned.
We have only had a reply from one of them.
The answers to our questions were not comprehensive.
We stress the serious nature of the allegations being made about this event, implicating quite a few people.
We count on your integrity and honesty to supply us with the answers to our queries.
Yours sincerely.
Mr. T.E.Cumper
UK

He replies with -

Dear Sir,
answered to your query.
* Kindly suggest to us how you require these moneys to be paid.
- You can remit thru our depository bank under
Account : *****
Equitable PCI Bank
Dr. A. Santos or St. James Branch
* Please confirm to us that your signature is to be found on the photo-copy.
- Yes, that is my signature
* Is your name Mr.Jamie Landico?
- My name is Mr. Jaime M. Landicho
* Who is to be found on Direct Line 826 - 2121?
- Either me or Ms. Josephine Jimenez, Billing Supervisor
*Please could you supply us with the Direct Line telephone numbers for:
Dr. Virgilio Oblepias - Chairman of The Board of Directors.
Dr. Renato Bernabe - President of The Board of Directors.
Dr. Humberto Villareal - Hospital Director.
- You can reach the officers mentioned at 825-6911 and ask for their extension.
However, they are busy persons to look for your concern. Furthermore, please be informed that the documents sent you are all authenticated. A certain Mr. Carlos Tampengko of the Bristish Embassy has also called us and inquire the hospital bill of Ma. Ana Samson Betita.
Respectfully yours,
Mr. Jaime M. Landicho
Accounting Manager
MEDICAL CENTER PARAÑAQUE, INC.

Notice that he states that the British Embassy in Manila had been in touch with the hospital - it is odd to me that the accounts office seems to be dealing with all enquiries - it seems to be the hub of the hospital - at the end of the only email address - and where my emails had been disappearing without trace.
Notice also that he says that the enquiry from the Embassy was about the bill - although their reply to me later on tries to paint in a few details to add realism - and excusing the phone system - bear in mind that all this information has come from the same source - ie. the accounts department at the hospital. Despite the apparent weight of authority that originating from the British Embassy was supposed to lend this reply - it only adds further suspicion.
Since I sent out my circular dossier email (as I like to call it) with attachments on Wednesday 22nd August 4.02 am the British Embassy are now showing willing - rather too willing in my opinion.
Interesting also that Sir Francis had suggested to me that I contact the Embassy for help - just one hour after my first email to the Embassy.

Here are the rapid fire communications between me and the British Embassy from the same day Wednesday 22nd August. This was a "live" exchange, proving that someone was actively involved on this case and considering the general apathy in replying to my emails, a rare occurrance indeed.

06:27
Mr. Cumper,
Thank you for your lengthy email with attachments. Let me state first that the assistance you asked is purely personal and is not something we normally get involved with because the subject of your enquiry is a foreign national.
Having said that however, I made few enquiries and found out the following:
1) That Betita still remains at private Room 137 of Medical Centre Parañaque awaiting your remittance to pay her hospital bills. She has been given discharge order but unable to leave the hospital without payment.
2) Her total bill as of today is Php 83,262.69. Her daily room and board in a private room is Php 950.
This amount will add to the total as the day progresses. The room does not have a telephone but if you wish to speak to Betita, you can call the hospital switchboard on 0632 825 6911 to 15 and ask the operator to connect you to Nurse Station 3. Betita is four rooms away from the station. Also to warn you that the telephone system is not efficient - reception is noisy and connection to local number takes sometime and can be disconnected from time to time.
3) Payments may be deposited directly to Medical Center Parañaque at Equitable PCI Bank, Dr. A. Santos Avenue Branch under A/C number ******. I checked this account number with the bank manager who confirmed the account number belongs to the hospital.
Hope the above information helps.

Dear Sir, thank you very much for making those enquiries on my behalf.
May I please enquire as from who the information you have aquired originated?
As this is absolutely critical to my enquiries.
Awaiting, humbly, your urgent response.
Yours sincerely,
Mr Timothy Ellis Cumper

06:42
This was your original email. [They had pasted a copy of my dossier email below.]

Dear Sir,
I am sorry, my question referred to who at the hospital did you speak to with your kind enquiry on my behalf?
Mr Timothy E Cumper

06:45
Did you mean the source of information?
Hospital: Mr. Landicho - Accounts Manager
Bank: Mr. Louie Domingo

06:46

The original email request came from you. Did it not? I deleted your
original long email.

06:48
Billing Supervisor Josephine Jimenez and Jaime Landicho, Jimenez's Accounting manager.

Now - considering that the reply bears all the authority of the British Embassy, there are no caveats at all about caution - unusual - as my email to them outlined my suspicions.
There is no mention that the information that they were given from the accounts department is actually true - no investigation - just word of mouth.
In fact they are simply echoing information that I already knew - to what purpose?

Considering that they knew all about my concerns - the tone of their reply seems extremely biased - leaning towards the side of the "Foreign Nationals" rather than the British subject who contacted them initially - trying to excuse and defuse my suspicions about the telephone system.

Surely they are aware, just as everybody else is, that scamming does go on over there - Hospital bills being one of the preferred means?

My dossier email was also sent to a close business associate of Sir Francis - she had given me her card when I met her at the Fiesta in Hounslow.
I figured that Sir Francis would get to hear of what I'd done as all the email addresses that I'd sent it to were CC'd. The dossier email to the Embassy was sent separately however and was not included in these CC's.
The close business associate corresponded with me, briefly, about the whole affair - I expect Sir Francis was using her to spy on my emotional state - which I honestly revealed to her.

Wednesday 22nd August.
God bless you ****** even the British Embassy have been in touch with the hospital - spoken to the accounts dept - the bank manager - confirming it all.
I have tried to be impartial about this all -
but had I been entirely on my own and asked myself about these points . . .
* My feelings for Mayen in no way imply that it is reciprocal.
* Only what I believe - remember on one level - from my visit.
* I am on my own as to proving whether or not I am a moral coward.
* Take responsibility.
* Am I escaping into purely specious territory when I ask myself "Which has a higher ethical value - honouring the love that only I may be feeling - or - searching for the truth?"
* But I find myself wanting to believe that there is a deceit going on - because it now seems to me to be the easy way out - and that is biasing my efforts, my searching - it seems to be pushing me into a corner, coupled with the fact that I have absolutely no idea how Mayen feels for me - purely selfish I know - why not just run away and hide, if the relationship is destroyed anyway?
* Maybe that's what it has been all along - pure selfishness under the disguise of love - in which case - this is a very just outcome.
* The only answer I can find is that I am a moral coward - the proof of that is only in the choices I have made and will make.
* Surely the facts of this episode read either way - which ever perspective one looks at it from? Suspicion - or - truth.
* Just like I did with Mayen from the beginning - we fill in all the missing pieces ourselves - supposition.
* Or have we further to go - more "facts" to uncover?
* Like has been pointed out to me by Sir F "We made our own bed . . ." I should really come to a decision.
* If the British Embassy Manila can't convince me of the truth - who on earth can?
* I still believe that God is love & love is God - somehow my love is involved in this - that is my only base at the moment - my faith in that.
* What is Sir Francis's base at the moment? - he's obviously been stirring up a response - covering his base.
* Does my base need covering?
* As long as I remain impartial - not misguided by my cowardice - I will steer in the correct direction. I need have no fear. God is love.
* But I cannot hide behind spiritual love and ignore the love of a human in distress - Mayen - no matter what she may or may not have done - this is still my responsibility.
* But if I speak to her - I know that it will wrench my heart in only one direction.
. . . I don't know where I'd be now.
Thank you
Tim

I received a reply - allegedly from her.

Hi tim:

This is sad. Please let me know if you are still visisting Manila so I can connect you to the right persons. ty

***

This was from the IP address which I have since tracked to be where Sir Francis has opened recent emails sent to him.

Here is a schedule of all emails sent and received between myself, the British Embassy, Sir Francis & his close business associate.

*1st email to Embassy - outlining my suspicions (but not sent to Carlos Tampinco's seperate email address.)
Sat. 18 August 2007 - 06:28:11 BST

* email from Sir Francis - Sat. 18 Aug 2007 07:22:35 BST
"Why don't you instead request the British Embassy to help you."

* 1st reply from Carlos Tampinco - (drew a blank)
Mon. 20 Aug 2007 04:03:05 BST

* Sent dossier letter Wed. 22 Aug 2007 03:27:45 BST
To the owner of Tierra Maria Estates & CC'd to the close business associate of Sir Francis and many other government agencies in the Philippines - (many of the others failed, treated as spam.)

* Sent dossier letter Wed. 22 Aug 2007 04:02:38 BST
To Carlos Tampinco - no CC's.

* Ist reply from close business associate - "Hi tim: This is sad. Please let me know if you are still visisting Manila so I can connect you to the right persons."
Wed. 22 Aug 2007 05:09:05 BST (from Sir Francis's IP address.)

*2nd reply from Carlos Tampinco - (All the details)
Wed. 22 Aug 2007 06:27:25 BST

* Email sent Wed 22 Aug 2007 06:52:03 BST
To close business associate.
"Hi ****** thank you for your reply - I am desperate - I don't know who to trust.
I have sent out so many emails to all sorts of organisations.
I'm sorry - but the implications contained in the documents I sent you - might be upsetting - I can hardly believe this myself - having met most of the people concerned.
I certainly won't be returning to the Philippines until this situation is resolved - and my relationship with Mayen is surely doomed by all of this.
The circumstances are so suspicious to me.
I hope that you are well - and business is good.
Yours sincerely "

* 2nd reply from close business associate - "I will pray for you."
Wed. 22 Aug 2007 08:38:15 BST
(Different IP address from previous reply.)

Here is a copy of one email sent to my MP which will explain my thoughts on this aspect of the situation - the matter had been passed over to the Foreign Office for investigation.

Friday, 21 December, 2007

Dear ****,

Firstly may I thank you for your help in presenting my issue of concern to the relevant authorities and for your recent letter which enclosed a copy of their response.

Please forward the content of this email to **** at the Foreign & Commonwealth Office.

I will argue the point that I was being steered to pay the hospital costs - for the email I received from the British Embassy in Manila was perceived as an endorsement of the information it contained.

I will argue the point that I did not request that the Embassy obtain information from the local authorities - I requested validation that the information I had already received was beyond suspicion.

The critical point, central to my concern is not the specific situation that I became involved with - and has not been suitably addressed.

It is to do with implementing a policy, within the protocol of the British Embassy, that would prevent a recurrence.

The suspicions contained in my first & second emails to the Embassy were ignored by Mr Carlos Tampinco.

By communicating to me using the authority of the British Embassy - and particularly with the omission of any caveat advising caution or further vigilance - the inference was that the information contained in his response to my second email was legitimate - and had been thoroughly checked and verified as true.

However, the information that I received from him in this case was no more than the suspect information I had already obtained - and had indeed been supplied by one of the very same sources.

Furthermore - the specific information regarding the telephone system at the hospital appeared to be providing an explanation for my suspicions - information which, in the absence of a thorough investigation, must have been conveyed by the very same suspect source at the hospital itself.

My concern was not to simply obtain echoes of what I already knew - but was specifically an endeavour to try to illuminate the truth.

The predominant content of my emails to Mr Tampinco, together with the attachments, was of my suspicion- and evidential support of that suspicion - all be it arbitrary and incomplete at that time - due to my distress.

The Embassy in the Philippines surely had "a duty of care" in this situation - either to thoroughly investigate - and report to me the conclusion of that investigation - or to advise that caution and due vigilance be taken - in the light of the evidence for my suspicion and the certain knowledge of the proliferation of this sort of activity in that country. Or to remain consistent with the policy of non-involvement shown in its reply to my first email.

I am privy to the background of this event - I have kept detailed records - there are so many discrepancies, lies, cover-ups - it is continuing to this day - with efforts to manipulate me into removing my incriminating writings from the Internet.

I have conclusive proof of lying - and a recording from web cam, of the revelation of a fake scar - all done in efforts to both extort more money from me -and force me to retract my allegations.

All of the above leads me to one firm and singular conclusion - that from beginning to end - this whole business has been faked - and yet consistently, the deceit has been corroborated by people in positions of authority.

We do not know precisely how exceptional was Mr Tampinco's second response to my circumstances - he certainly did not address my key concern, but by his own admission - the British Embassy do not normally involve themselves in the business of foreign nationals.

However - it seems to me that the interest of the foreign nationals concerned in this instance, have been given priority of support.

The crux of the matter is this - if, as I would expect, the Embassy desires to be - and appear to be - impartial, then the implied authority perceived within its message to me should have been counterbalanced with a caveat advising precaution - particularly in the light of my suspicions, which were made perfectly clear.

If this impartiality is absent - the strong implication is that the response has been influenced in some way.

Co-incidentaly, I received an email from one of the main suspects - steering me towards making an appeal to the British Emabassy in Manila for help - an hour after sending my first email to the Embassy.

To help prevent any further occurrence - the apparent endorsement by the Embassy of entirely unverified facts - from potentially assisting criminals in achieving their goals - I would like to see evidence of an addition to, or reinforcement of, the Embassy protocol in dealing with similar situations - a caveat advising caution and due vigilance - when disseminating unverified information of this nature.

Unfortunately - as the recent press bears witness, with tragedies occurring in the Philippines - this advice is particularly pertinent for visitors to those shores - becoming increasingly notorious for their corruption and lawlessness.

I cannot expect the British Government to assist me in what is a purely personal matter - discovering and revealing more of the truth of the episode that I was particularly involved in.

However - in the matter of ensuring that protocols within the British Embassy are suitably comprehensive and robustly adhered to, on occasions that demand strict ethics and impartiality - I think you will agree with my insistence that these protective measures be securely in place.

May I take this opportunity to thank you again - and to wish you and all of your staff a very happy Christmas and successful new year.

Yours sincerely,

Timothy E Cumper

Maidenhead

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 24 - Four Feathers

Journey 23

On Thursday 23rd August I get an email from Mayen - subject - "The Four Feathers."
This film had come up in one of our chats, from the 23rd July actually, precisely one month previously. As well as dropping the occasional hint that she was not feeling well, losing weight, vomiting etc. Mayen would plant little seeds of ideas that would be used later - she seemed to be experienced enough to sense how things were going to map out.

23rd July chat session:

mayen: i was watching a dvd movie this afternoon
mayen: hehehe
tim: what film?
mayen: the four feathers
tim: What's it about?
mayen: its a story of the british army
mayen: i remember you with the same uniform hehehe red
tim: ah - I may have seen it - I have seen it - the feathers meant he was a coward - because he left someone behind in the battle yah?
mayen: is it true that the 4 feathers symbolizes cowardice in the british army?
tim: and he has to prove himself to a woman
mayen: yeah thta's it.. its really a nice story
tim: was it a red uniform?
mayen: yeah like the one you sent to me red uniform
tim: yah - you know why they're red? So the blood doesn't show. That's true.
mayen: aha
tim: yah
mayen: i like the story its interesting
tim: you up really late yah?
mayen: after that movie i sleep all afternoon
tim: so nice to chat to you though, he, he mWaaaaaaah
mayen: hehehe that's why cant sleep
tim: ah - yeah I know that feeling - in the heat especially
mayen: mwwaaahhh
mayen: how long you stayed in the army?
tim: only 6 years-I joined at 15 - straight from school.
tim: but that was long enough!
mayen: ah but you never sent to a war? hehehe
tim: no - thank goodness - I was a musician - we play horrible music - to frighten the enemy, he,he.
mayen: hehehe
mayen: oh that's really horrible in the battlefield
mayen: huhuhuh
tim: darling I love you - I love you -I love you so much.
mayen: i love you too
mayen: so soo

So having learned that I would respond to accusations of cowardice the email that came focussed almost exclusively on this - and no doubt, the email I had sent to Sir Francis's "close" business associate helped to inform them all that my emotional state was preoccupied with cowardice - just as I had anticipated it would.

timmy,
im fine now, fit enough to leave the hospital.i have already settled the hospital bills. I never expect you to pay for it coz there is no assurance from you. Sir F also has done too much for me. I called up my family in province last saturday to ask for help. they decided to pawn thier inherit property to pay for the hospital bills.I dont want them to involved with this but i have to coz in these times they are the only one i can lean upon on.Its hard to accept the fact that my family is affected with this situation because you are running away your obligations, you are turning away from me. You have seen my family and their situation.Now this is a big mess. Im telling you this not because i want payment from you but because I WANT YOU TO BEAR IN YOUR MIND THAT OUTHERE THERE IS SOMEONE YOU MOCKED, YOU INSULTED AND YOU DEGRADED. i hope you can sleep well with your conscience.
Are you happy doing it to me? are you satisfied?Timmy, i know that your heart knows that im telling the truth and you know it by yourself. But you let yourself MOTIVATED by those DIRTY THOUGHTS. You are WEAK AND COWARD. You are Blind and Deaf.You dont know how to stand in your own decisions. You have no Self confidence. You dont know how to fight. And above all, you are afraid of the Truth.Why dont you listen to yourself? Dont go on with that kind of life Timmy coz you will be a looser. You wont be happy for the rest of your life. Im not afraid to tell you these, coz im in the side of the Truth. And the truth shall prevail. You know the TRUTH but you refused them Because you are ashamed. you wont accept the fact because of the PRIDE you have in Yourself. You hide because you lived with doubts and fears. suspicions and guilt. Your HEART KNOWS ME MORE BUT YOU FORGET ME. YOU FORGET OUR GOOD MEMORIES WE HAD. If you can still remember those, do you think i can do what you accused me? your heart will say NO, cos you know i cant do that. and everytime Timmy you will think of me you will feel guilt. Do you still remember the movie that i told you THE FOUR FEATHERS. Its about the british young soldier who dont want to go to war against the MAHDI because he was afraid, He was doudbtful. there was something in his mind " A FEAR TO HIMSELF". and that's what you are.
Since from the start i never lie to you. I swear to God. I TRUSTED you with all my heart. I respected you. and you let those respect vanished. How many times did you insult me? Can you still remember? But still i forgave you. i forgave you because i love you, because i know that those are testing times how strong we are. But now i doubt if we can pass this test because you are opposite to me, im strong as samson but you are weak. Im trying to save our love but you surrender you gave up. And that's the saddest part.
I know you are thinking that im just after of your money. How much money did you send me? millions? billions? its hundreds timmy... and its a help from you its not an extort.. coz you know my situation. and its a help from you.. can you understand the nature of help? i never thought that everytime you gave me, there is something at the back in your mind a dirty mind. am i extorting money? Timmy your not a duke nor a prince.. i know from the start that you are just a poor musician. Think of it you have no money, you have no wealth. what will i get from you? yes im poor financially, but im young, im strong as samson, im full of love and honesty in my heart, i have real friends, i have a big happy family. and i have so much in life, i have good life ahead. But why i let you enter in my world, despite of our differences?before i can hear the opinions from the people around me but i never listen to them, i still stand in your side, i fight for you. Coz my heart knows you more and that's the most important thing. and i loved you. i accept you as you are. your such a good man to me.But now i dont know you anymore. you are not my Timmy boy anymore. you are not the TIMOTHY ELLIS CUMPER that i knew.
Maybe this had happened to us has a reason..God has a reason..Maybe, HE make a test to prove how strong our love. or maybe he want me to find out your true color. or maybe He dont want me to marry a man like you. I DONT KNOW.. ONLY GOD KNOWS.. No wonder why your not happy with your married life, because you dont know how to fight your own happiness. GOD gave you the chance to be happy but you refused to be . ITs your choice not to be happy anymore. and you are the looser Timmy. and im so sorry for you.
I hope also this will end well timmy.. i hope someday you will realise.. its not the issue of the money its all about the truth and the dignity.. i will remember the happy moments we had and it will remain forever. im still the curly hair you knew from the start and nothing will change to me. promise..

As you can see from my reply - although quite firm in language there are obvious signs of my lingering ambivalence - I still loved her tremendously despite my suspicions - and yes - letters like the four feathers really hit home - like precision guided missiles into my heart.

Hi Darling - nice try - yes I do still have love for Mayen in my heart. But is that the real Mayen? No that is the love in MY heart. I can separate the two. The love in my heart - which I was perfectly prepared to devote to you - but you threw it all away - by giving into avarice - in your case - cupidity would be a far better term - because the arrows of your love were poisoned.
Yes I do still have happy memories - I also have conclusive proof that this was all a scam.
You are quite good at it - a little careless at times though.
It's all online for you to see - in my blog - you're famous - what you've always wanted, eh?
See if you can spot the mistake.
Have a lovely life - and stick to the truth - and the love that's in your own heart.
Timmyboy
mWaaaaaaaaah
XXX

Anyway - I was bluffing - strong suspicions are not the same as conclusive proof.
Sir Francis meanwhile was becoming more and more conspicuous by his absence - in fact the very last email that I was ever to get from him had already been sent. He was leaving it all up to the girls - "his people" - to sort out. Of course he wanted to distance himself as far from this as possible - I was bringing not only his name but the name of the real estate business into the arena of public shame.

On the same day as the email from Mayen stating that she was now out of the hospital and that she had arranged the previous Saturday for her parents to deal with the account, I received another email from the accounts department at the hospital - a copy of the previous one they had sent with the photocopy of a bill attached. I hastily emailed them back:

Thursday August 23rd.
Please confirm payment of this account.

They responded on August 29th with:

Dear Sir,
We havent received yet the payment in our account.
Hoping for your great response.

Also on the 23rd August I decide to broaden my search for help - I write a lengthy email to the Philippine Embassy in London.
They reply with:

Dear Tim,
We shall seek the assistance of our office in Manila in terms of verifying some of the items you raised. As soon as we have this, we shall let you know.
In the meantime, we suggest that you exercise reasonable prudence and diligence.
Best regards,
LEO M. HERRERA-LIM
Consul General
Embassy of the Philippines
9A Palace Green
London W8 4QE

I have kept them up to date with events, but despite receiving this on August 29th:

Tim,
I have not yet received any communication from our office in Manila. This is not totally unusual though.
In the end, I believe it is your call on what perspective you place on certain events. No one told any of us that handling relationships are easy. It never is. But you may wish, as we have advised you earlier, to exercise due diligence and prudence, most especially on what you post in the public space of the internet.
Best regards,
Leo

I fear that this particular line of enquiry has ended - raising questions in my mind as to why.

On Friday 24th August, at 9.40 am - I start thinking about the very first phone call from the hospital - it wasn't Mayen's own cellphone - she told me there was no signal on her phone - I seem to remember that she might have been trying to convince me that she was using a hospital phone.
I decide to phone the number - first time I get through to a woman - who hangs up. I try again - this time a man answers - I start asking questions "Who does this phone belong to?" Eventually the woman comes on the phone again - I say that my name is Tim, from the UK - she realises who I am - the connection with Mayen - and tells me that she is ate Glo - Mayen's new landlady - "Can you tell me about the events of August 10th?" I ask her - and she confirms everything that Mayen had told me - the timings, that she took Mayen to the hospital in her car. I was severely disturbed by this.
I am not used to people telling me lies, right in my ear - could it all be true?

I get a response to my email from Mayen, again referring back to something she had already told me about during one of our chat sessions - I detected a rather sinister warning at the end - Subject - The Instinct of a Woman:

timmy,
i remember,that there was a night that i was really crying.. i cant sleep.. thinking of what will happen. i really had a bad feeling.. thinking what will happen to us. its like im afraid of the distance we had.. afraid that there will be something happen in the future.. im afraid on coz i feel you will be turning away, running away from me. very early in the morning i talked to you and you told me i dont have to be afraid it wont happen. you promised me.. can you still remember that? and this is it.. it happend. you let this happen.. because of the weakness you have in yourself. im trying to save the relationship we have but its already destroyed by you,everything is destroyed. i have no choice but to let you go. YOU ARE A LOSER! and YOU ARE NOTHING! yOU ARE A SORRY FELLOW..
I warn you Timmy, be careful of what you are planning...It wont be good for you.
thank you so much for the good times.

I reply with - A Man's Instinct:

Dear Mayen,
You found a different side to yourself - and it really suits you well.
You really prefer that side - honest, loving, respectful, sincere, loyal - with high regard for truth, God, ethics.
That was what we shared together.
My love for you has never been in question.
Your love, however - because of your situation - has a sting in the tail.
Yes - you're right - it is not about the money - not one little bit.
It is about truth and dignity.
Your truth - and your dignity.
The fact that you can sleep at night means you are perfectly happy doing these things.
You love the thrill of it - it makes you feel special.
Obviously more special than the sincere love that I offered you.
I will love you - no matter what you have done.
But it can only survive with absolute honesty.
It's your choice - Mayen - you were planning this all along - what took you by surprise were your own feelings - and they have illuminated your choice - it should be plain to see.
Timmy boy
XXX

I send another email - wanting to end matters with a poem:

We will meet again
At the very end of time
When all has been stripped away.
Then you will read my heart,
And see your face inscribed
In the book of my life.
We could have found
That heaven on earth,
And put all else aside,
Gathering riches for the soul,
Your lotus bloom
Held proud,
But the cloudy waters
Are rising -
Submerging you.
Can you get free?

Mayen replies again, which I receive on the Saturday 25th August:

timmy,
until this time i really keep asking myself WHY? It HURTS really.. i dont know why you do this to me.. are you angry with me? you tell me... where did i go wrong? why you jump into a conclusion without hearing my side? i want to know.. timmy, i know you are hurt like what i feel.. this is so difficult to move on, the both of us.. we will talk in order to relieve, we are free to express everything.. without hatred and pride in our hearts... you talk to me..
after this.. i will go somewhere else with no computer or any technology.. i want to contemplate.. i want to be peaceful.. i want to be just like before.. i want to move on..
but one thing i will assure you, i never do anything wrong to you.. but if you still insist your side then.. i have nothing to do with it, go on with it and you will never be happy for the rest of your life.. coz God knows.. im waiting for you at YM.
LOVE YOU STILL,
MAYEN

How I wished her words had the slightest grain of truth in them - I was still highly confused - and my optimism clinging on to the love I still felt for her.

I realised that there was an invitation for a chat session, so I signed in to Yahoo Messenger and we had our first chat session since the hospital episode began.
The book that Mayen refers to in our chat is the one that I was reading during my visit - at her request, I had left it with her.
This is going to be stressful - and interesting.

25/08/07

mayen: timmy
mayen: im here now
mayen: we will talk
mayen: you wake up
mayen: this is our problem we will settle this
mayen: you will hear my side and your side i will listen
mayen: i dont want to have a messy life timmy
mayen: TIMMY timmy timmy
mayen: you wake up
mayen: i know you are there
tim: I'm here - I'm so sorry - this is awful - I'm so, so sad - either way
mayen: you tell me why?
mayen: you tell me your anger
tim: there is no real anger
mayen: you tell me everything you want to say to me
mayen: okay.. if there is no anger then why you jump into a conclusion without hearing my side
tim: what is your side?
mayen: you never believe what had happened to me
mayen: am i right?
tim: you're right
mayen: okay
mayen: then.. what do you want from now on?
tim: honesty
mayen: i cant force you to believe in me
tim: I know - that's why I have to find out for myself
mayen: so how can you find out if your hiding from me
tim: I have to find out without asking you - because of how I feel
mayen: i swear i never lie to you
mayen: and that's i will insist
mayen: now.. you think.. you contemplate
tim: don't worry - I have been
mayen: timmy, this is sad
tim: why are you still concerned about me?
mayen: its because i can feel you
mayen: i can feel you are hurt
mayen: we are hurt
tim: yah
tim: I'm sorry
mayen: this is really the worts that ever happend
tim: yah - I know - talaga
mayen: isa this goodbye now?
mayen: from a simple hi to a sad goodbye
tim: no -we will meet again
mayen: i hope it will end with a heart relierf
mayen: relief
tim: for both of us
mayen: yes
mayen: i will go to somewhere else
mayen: no computer
tim: where?
mayen: no celfone
mayen: i want to move on
.........................
[So, Mayen has decided to put her self out of touch. But very soon, emails from the very same IP address and SMS messages will start arriving again.]
........................
tim: from what?
mayen: from this hurt you have done
tim: aha - it is not about money at all
mayen: and when i will come back i want to write a new chapter
mayen: a new life
mayen: a new hope
tim: your words are very powerful
mayen: yes
mayen: you teach me
mayen: why you got the messages in DIA?
tim: what messages? I have erased my profile there
mayen: WHEN I VIVITED THE dia.. your messages was gone
tim: I have disappeared from there
mayen: i suspected you are the one responsible
mayen: but anyway those words are with in me
mayen: even you will erase it it will remain forever
tim: I don't know what happened there - but I have removed my profile - because I am so hurt
mayen: in me
mayen: dont lie timmy i know you
tim: and you will remain with me - that is why it must be resolved
tim: I do not lie to you
mayen: vbut you did
tim: how?
mayen: you wont accept you steal those messages
tim: Please understand - before I erased my profile - long before
tim: I copied the messages - most of it - as proof of relationship - for our marriage
tim: after this last episode - I erased my profile
mayen: do i have to believe
mayen: maybe no
tim: yah
tim: true
mayen: no
tim: I didn't realise that your messages would disappera as well
mayen: you did it
tim: I didn't erase the messages - I cancelled my whole account
tim: I expect that's when they disappeared - but you are still there - I didn't realise that they would vanish completely
mayen: i dont know
tim: that is true - why is it so important?
mayen: yes
mayen: but if you are erasing it nothing will do
mayen: why you circulate those messages?
mayen: to everyone?
tim: because I need to know the truth
tim: and I am a long way away - I needed help
tim: becuase it was pivotal to everything about us - past - present -future
tim absolutely vital that I find the truth
mayen: are you not satisfied with what you have done ?
tim: what have I done?
mayen: you hurt me
mayen: you hurt me
mayen: you hurt me
tim: I am searching for the truth
mayen: okay go on with that truth you want to find
mayen: go on
mayen: someday you will realise
tim: how do you think I feel if it is all a lie?
tim: how will I realise?
tim if nobody helps me find out
mayen: you will realise that you wont be happy doing it
tim: I am not happy - but I need to know
mayen: yourself knows the truth
tim: the whole thing is very sad
tim: all I know is how I feel for you
tim: but that doesn't mean I know you
mayen: i dont have to insist
tim: no you don't
mayen: you are now holding your pride
mayen: its the PRIDE
tim: as opposed to what?
mayen: you have that's why you keep on insisting
tim: because I can't believe that what I felt was so wrong - I was tricked
mayen: its not a trick
mayen: what you feel was true
mayen: but i dont know
tim: from beginning to end - a confidence trick
mayen: why you allow this dirty thoughts
mayen: is it because of insecurity?
tim: they are born of the world these thoughts
mayen: timmy, im youmg
tim: the lotus flower
mayen: all i know about life
mayen: is
mayen: to pursue for happiness
mayen: to fight for happinness
tim: I agree - and what is your sort of happiness?
mayen: not to live with
mayen: doudts
mayen: doubts
mayen: with suspicions
tim: I agree - that is why I fight for the truth
mayen: then what truth your looking for
tim: how long is your scar?
.......................
[Why does Mayen not answer this critical question?]
......................
mayen: telling the whole world
mayen: that im a liar?
mayen: ino timmy
mayen: im not a liar
tim: the truth is the truth
mayen: you know it
mayen: the scar remains forever
tim: you never tell lies?
mayen: no
tim: never?
mayen: nevr
tim: never, ever?
mayen: from the start of our relationship never
mayen: coz i value
mayen: our relationship
tim: what do you want to happen now then Mayen?
tim: Mayen, Mayen, Mayen
mayen: i want you to be brave
mayen: strong
tim: and . . . ?
mayen: and dont possess cowardice
tim: and . . . ?
mayen: because as i have told you you will be a looser
mayen: im trying to save our love
tim: thank you for the warning - how can we save it?
mayen: but all of a sudden it was gone
tim: no - it never went anywhere
tim: it got diverted
mayen: i dont know
mayen: i really dont know
tim: what do you want me to do?
mayen: its only HE KNOWS
mayen: realise evrything
tim: He is taking a long time in telling me
mayen: heal everthing
tim: how?
mayen: its in the book
tim: what book?
mayen: conversation with GOD
tim: quote me then . . .
mayen: its too long to qoute
mayen: all of those pages
tim: he, he
mayen: hehehe
mayen: timmy timmy timmy
tim: mayen, Mayen, Mayen
mayen: even im so emotional but im trying to smile ay you
tim: can we recover from this?
mayen: remembering those
mayen: happy days
tim: yah
mayen: i never thought
mayen: this is all happening
mayen: and they say
mayen: the song
mayen: we have sung before
mayen: what do you get when you fall in love
tim: you get a pin to burst your bubble
....................
[This song keeps on cropping up.]
...................
mayen: hehehe nice song
tim: yah
mayen: it really reminds me of this
tim: can we recover from this?
mayen: yes but it takes a long time
mayen: we will forgive ann forget
mayen: that's the only way
mayen: agree?
tim: agree
tim: I am amazed
mayen: why?
mayen: i feel relieved now timmy
mayen: are you sleeping?
tim: no I'm justed amazzzzzzzzed
mayen: why?
tim: because I do not deserve you to even talk to me
mayen: why you dont deserve?
tim: because according to you - I have deserted you, hurt you, distrusted you
tim: and insulted you
mayen: yes you did
mayen: i know it
tim: and you still can forgive?
mayen: im always forgave you
mayen: since from the start
mayen: i always forgive
tim: yah - and I forgive you even if it is a trick
mayen: coz according to my grandma.. dont let haterd live in your heart
mayen: you wont be happy
tim: no, I know - I have no hatred - none of this is about hatred - truly it isn't
tim: it's about truth
mayen: timmy, you think all what you think.. a trick. a lie. i can never do about it
mayen: coz its in your thinking
mayen: i cant divert it
tim: yah - because everything that happened supported that thinking
mayen: its not
mayen: true
mayen: so that we will not argue
mayen: i have a good suggestion
tim: yah?
mayen: i will stand what i say
tim: yah
mayen: and you will stand in your own
mayen: on you thinking
mayen: coz evrytime we will insist each other's side no one will be humble
mayen: the both of us keep on insisting
tim: true - only while we talk - but the facts are the facts
tim: and they affect everything we say or do from now on
mayen: it wont affect
tim: it's not a small matter - it is crucial
mayen: coz after this talk
mayen: we will not talk
mayen: and the truth shall prevail someday
tim: so who is running away now?
mayen: im not running awy
tim: well stay then - and let the truth prevail
mayen: hehehe.. you know where i got the slogan" the truth shall prevail
tim: where?
mayen: its in the biggest news paper in the philippines .. philippine daily inqiurer
tim: the Motto?
mayen: yes
mayen: the truth shall prevail
mayen: its there motto
tim: it will prevail - at the end of time
mayen: yes
mayen: it will
mayen: any interruptions?
tim: no - Friday night
mayen: ahhhhh
mayen: i thought there is
tim: no one here but me
tim: where are you?
mayen: in the cafe
mayen: im taking rest for a month
mayen: after this talk
mayen: i will go somewhere else
tim: where?
mayen: where no one knows me
tim: why?
mayen: i told you already
mayen: timmy timmy timmy
tim: why do you disappear? Mayen Mayen MAyen
mayen: i will miss you and these technology
mayen: im not disappear
mayen: i will just have to breath a fresh air
mayen: a space for me and for you
tim: I will never ever forget you
tim: but I am getting old
mayen: no i wont forget you
mayen: you are in my tummy
tim: I wanted so much for our happiness
mayen: it will be forever
mayen: it will remain forevr
mayen: i can feel you
mayen: are you crying?
tim: almost - yah
mayen: me too
tim: no - it cannot end
mayen: what?
mayen: you mean?
tim: us
mayen: timmy goodbyes are not forever
tim: true
tim: God be with you
mayen: i will be back as soon as we will be heald
mayen: if there is no pain
mayen: and no broken hearts
mayen: you are crying i know it
mayen: i still can feel you
mayen: timmyboy
tim: yah - you can
tim: buko baby
mayen: hehehe
mayen: mmwwaaah
tim: mWaaaaaaah
mayen: why we feel each other?
tim: it's a mystery
mayen: yes it is
mayen: really a mystery
tim: it is so deep and fragile - that is why it broke
tim: I neede to put my faith in something that I could not see, or hear, or touch
mayen: yes
mayen: go on
tim: it was my secret - my deep secret - so deep that anything could cover it up
mayen: yes
tim: and the doubts came and covered it up
tim: but it is still there
mayen: i hope so
tim: I do not understand
mayen: i hope it will end well my timmyboy
tim: I love you Mayen
mayen: i love you still nothing change
mayen: but we have to move on
tim: yah - we do - I am not writing any more - I have stopped
tim: no more letters
mayen: i want but im afraid you will steal it
tim: my story is my story - and I don't know whether we can write a different ending
tim: steal what sweetheart?
mayen: steal your letters
mayen: back to you
tim: I can send you what I have - but there are bits missing - I didn't copy it all
mayen: thank you
tim: and the poems - I atill have them all
mayen: yes i know
tim: how do you know?
mayen: you give it back to me
mayen: i know you
tim: I will send them - they are all in one very big file
tim: Are you being truthfull to me - for the sake of what we have had - please, please, please - just tell me - I don't care what you say - just tell me the truth - then we can start over.
tim: I have no anger or hatred
tim: for anyone
mayen: what i will tell you
tim: tell me all
mayen: timmy, i tell you the truth
mayen: i was in the hospital
mayen: i never thought it will happen
mayen: it was an ectopic pregnancy
tim: it is very rare - an Ectopic Pregnancy - although I have heard of such scams in Thailand
mayen: timmy
tim: yah?
mayen: i swear to GOD
mayen: i will be going to hell if im telling you lie
tim: ok -carry on please
mayen: you ask me questios
mayen: i will answer you
mayen: everything you have doudts
mayen: everything you suspcted
mayen: you ask me
mayen: i will answer
tim: why could your friends not manage to send me anything convincing from the hospital?
mayen: okay
mayen: i will answer
mayen: marivien is too busy
mayen: they were panic
mayen: they dont know what will they do first
mayen: they talked to the hospital but
mayen: the hospital refused
tim: simply get the accounts office to send me an email
tim: Why they refuse?
mayen: they will ask permission to the office of the director
tim: it was critical
tim: to send an email?
mayen: yes
tim: why?
tim: if I was willing to pay
tim: why not get in touch with me?
tim: that doesn't make sense
mayen: timmy, they told this is a personal problem
mayen: they told that if you boyfriend dont trust you then how could he trust us
mayen: thats the hospitals reason
.................
[The trouble with this is & the reply from the "Legal Counsel" - all about "Patient Confidentiality" - not only had "Dr Leonardo" already spoken to me on the telephone 10/08/07 and told me all about Mayen's situation, but the nurse supervisor that I spoke to on the phone 13/08/07 also got "Confidential" information from the accounts office. So when it suited them - they would tell me information - but when it didn't - they would hide behind this for an excuse. It is transparently all fantasy.]
.................
tim: damn right it was - our problem - and it was urgent on the Monday - desperately urgent
mayen: and 2nd reason
tim: that doesn't make sense - the internet is full of stories of scams - just like this - they advise to deal directly with the hospital
mayen: timmy, if you sound like that then
mayen: there is nothing to ask for
mayen: if your mind is just focused on that
mayen: i told you already.. that this wont work for us
tim: Precisely - but my mind was focussed on getting proof - and you all knew it - why could you not oblige?
mayen: timmy, the hospital sent you the bills
mayen: they sent you
mayen: it was late
tim: a whole week later
mayen: and im angry because they have no action to my request
mayen: they keep on refusing and refusing
tim: and they were'nt the same figures - the details were different - your patient number
tim: we got a dreadful response from Dr Dizon - no response from Dra Leonardo
tim: a liter of blood means you would have been unconscious
mayen: you talked to dra leonardo in the hospital
tim: no - I wrote to her - but no reply
mayen: she told me she never receive any e mail from you
mayen: and also the hospital
mayen: they told me they never recieved
tim: she has one - the same as we sent Dr Dizon
mayen: any e amil
mayen: e amil from you
tim: on the email address that Sir Francis sent me
tim: who did I speak to on the Friday on the phone - just after I spoke with you?
mayen: its dra leonardo
tim: aha - ok
mayen: i really dont know
tim: when did you arrive at the hospital?
mayen: exchanging wrong ideas
mayen: dealing with different people
tim: if you can remember
mayen: be fore luch
tim: ok
mayen: i called up ate glo to help me
tim: that is a long time after the pain started?
mayen: dawn of friday
mayen: friday 4am
tim: yah - but you didn't get to hospital for a long time?
mayen: i thought it was just a stomache
mayen: until 9am
tim: I'm sorry
mayen: im taking medicine
mayen: but the pain never stops
mayen: i texted ate glo
mayen: i ask her for help
mayen: the severe stomache
mayen: she put liniment
mayen: she prepared me tea
mayen: but it never helps
tim: yah - I understand
mayen: until she decided me to bring me to the hospital
mayen: i cant stand
mayen: his son carried me
mayen: to the car
mayen: then
mayen: we arrived at paranaque medical center
mayen: i calles up marivien
mayen: and sir F
mayen: they are the only one who is near to me
mayen: ant then i called you up
mayen: you remember it?
tim: yah - I certainly do -mWaaaaaaaah
...............
[So ate Glo took Mayen to the hospital sometime after 9.00 am (PH time) - the call I received was at 1.30 pm (PH time) and the operation happened at around 3.45 pm (PH time.) That seems to me to be an enormous time scale for an emergency operation.]
..............
tim: why were you so concerned about the money?
mayen: im not concerned
mayen: i was just rattle
mayen: i told you be ready for the hospital bill
mayen: i never thought you make color of it
mayen: im afraid cod the doctor told me
mayen: i will go operation
tim: no - it was never the money - it was trying to find out the truth
mayen: and im thinking how will ipay
mayen: i know i have nothing
mayen: to pay
mayen: and that's it
mayen: that's why i called you
tim: why did you ask me to send the money via Western Union?
mayen: yes
tim: why?
mayen: i do because i want to pay the ate glo for the laboratory
.................
[This does not appear as a "credit" on the bill.]
................
mayen: she was the one who pay for the laboratories and other fees
tim: why was that so important?
mayen: i have nothing to pay
mayen: i called sir F he deposited the hospital
tim: how much?
mayen: 1,.000
mayen: 10 thousand
mayen: pesos
tim: plus . . .?
mayen: plus the advances i have
tim: on the Saturday and Sunday?
mayen: i borrowed him for day to day expenses
mayen: and for the blood transfusion
tim: how much?
mayen: it takes all 4500
mayen: 1 500
mayen: plus 3000
mayen: i dont know
tim: and that all went to the hospital?
mayen: why you are so doubtful
tim: please answer
mayen: what?
tim: the 4500 went to the hospital?
mayen: 1500 for the blood
mayen: the 3thousand is for the expenses
mayen: coz i have no money
mayen: to buy food
mayen: to buy medicine
mayen: and others
mayen: i have nothing
mayen: sister adelaide
mayen: was there
tim: I understand
tim: I spoke to her
mayen: she take over marivien for nursing me
mayen: i ask marivien to contact to you
mayen: to e mail you
mayen: i let her access my computer
tim: yah - she did
mayen: my e mai
mayen: l
tim: why did you let her do that?
mayen: and ym
mayen: i gave her the password
tim: when?
mayen: she 's the only one i can lean on those ting
tim: when did you give her your password?
mayen: on the 2nd day in the hospital
tim: Saturday?
mayen: first day i tell her the password
...............
[The Friday - when I suspect that my activity was being monitored on her Yahoo Messenger, while Mayen herself was quite possibly at the hospital.]
..............
mayen: i dont know if she do it right awy
mayen: im not allowed to talk according to the doctor
mayen: we never talk
tim: why didn't you simply give Marivien my email address?
mayen: i told her.. gurl you email timmy at tim*******@********.com
mayen: but she told me it was wrong
mayen: i keep on insisting that its right e amil
tim: how did she know it was wrong?
mayen: but she insited its wrong
mayen: because when she email there is a message from yahoo
mayen: failed
mayen: then i give her my password
mayen: too make sure
tim: maybe that's because I had blocked it
mayen: and that's it
tim: yah - ok
mayen: on those days in the hospital
mayen: i never thought
mayen: why?
mayen: its happening
tim: I tell you why
mayen: why
tim: I thought I would arrive in Manila on the Wednesday - Sir Francis would have paid the "bill" - you would have disappeared somewhere - or I'd never get to see the scar
tim: I would end up owing him the money - and I would have been prevenred in dealing with the hospital
mayen: i have the scar it will remain forever
tim: I was dealing with a gang - taht also had infiltrated the hospital
mayen: i dont know
mayen: i only know is that they deal with you
tim: where did Marivien get the first lot of figures from that she sent me?
mayen: they try to help me
mayen: i never aks her
mayen: they got the initial bill to the hospiatl
mayen: everyday the hospital bills is growing
mayen: for the room
mayen: im so sorry if you think im concerned of the money
mayen: then maybe you mis interpret it
mayen: but you dont have to pay
mayen: my family settled the bills
mayen: if you are suspecting that im concerned of the money
mayen: and that's the reason why you suspected
mayen: that its a scam
mayen: its the emotions of afraid coz i have nothing to pay
tim: the reason why I was suspicious is because I neede to know the truth - because everything we had done or said or planned depended on us being honest with each other
mayen: im honest to you
mayen: if you have something in your mind that you misinterpret
mayen: then we will clear it up
mayen: and the things you have done, the words you have sent to the gang are very insulting
mayen: and it hurts
mayen: the actuatios
mayen: and everything
tim: yah I know - and I will appologise fully if it turns out to be different
mayen: im trying to build a genuine frienship
tim: but you are all very clever people
mayen: to you and to Sir F and to the people around me but it was ruined
mayen: because of that suspicions
tim: why did you warn me in your email the other day?
mayen: i never warned you
mayen: yes i will admit
mayen: i warn you because im angry
mayen: im really angry
mayen: I WAS ANGRY
tim: warn you Timmy, be careful of what you are planning...It wont be good for you.
mayen: yes
mayen: that's it
tim: what was I planning?
mayen: it wont be good for you because God wont be happy
tim: what was I planning?
mayen: you are the only one who knows
mayen: your plan
tim: you had your idea - tell me
mayen: you did your plan
mayen: you circulate those messages
tim: to get to the truth
mayen: to the whole world
mayen: and that's why i was angry
time: hardly - just one or two select people
mayen: now
tim: 9 or 10
mayen: go on
mayen: i told you this early
tim: if it is all my imagination then I will appologise
mayen: timmy i have express all the anger
mayen: i have for you
tim: yah
mayen: its up to you
tim: yah
mayen: i cant force you to believe in me
tim: no
mayen: its all up to you
mayen: now
mayen: plans?
mayen: what will be next?
mayen: saying goodbye
tim: no
mayen: its hard
mayen: its hard to accept that the person you love, is the person who will not trust you
mayen: who will destroy
mayen: everything the dreams
mayen: the plans
mayen: the wedding
mayen: the coming twins
tim: huhuhuh
mayen: yes
tim: it is very hard
tim: impossible - especially at long distance like this
mayen: yes
mayen: that's why i told you
tim: I tried really hard to explain all the discrepencies
mayen: im afraid of the distance
mayen: its really horrible
mayen: i hope someday we will realise each others mistakes
tim: because it was so critical - I have never lied to you about my love for you - but that was what I felyt because of who you told me you were
tim: you neede me to believe you - whether you were being truthful or not - either way I had to believe you
mayen: its up to you
tim: if you are one sort of person you are not capable of such deceit - but if you are another - you can pretend anything to get what you want
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
tim: yah?
tim: Mayen Mayen Mayen
mayen: how can we heal this broken heart
mayen: this is soooooooooooooo
mayen: worst
tim: we bothe must KNOW the truth
mayen: yes
mayen: someday
mayen: someday
bmayen: outhere
tim: that is the only way - because the truth will prove both of us - whether I allowed something deep and invisible to be swept away by doubt - or whether I was simply being wise and cautious. Did you expect me to be blind?
mayen: yes
mayen: you are
tim: blind?
mayen: because you see me
mayen: you see vevrything
mayen: but
mayen: my family
mayen: friends
tim: I feel love in my heart for you - but that is my love
mayen: but still you never open it
tim: but what do confidence tricksters do?
tim: they gain my confidence
mayen: timmy, dont say bad words against me
tim: and then my love -
tim: and once they are certain - / . . .
mayen: no
mayen: they are not
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
tim: Mayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
mayen: have to eat my mangoes
mayen: imhungry
mayen: i remember eating mangoes all day
tim: we are talking in unsubstantive terms - we are talking about invisible forces - what I need is concrete unequivocal proof
mayen: i just want to have a break
tim: for my eyes to believe - the heart is too ambiguous
tim: ok
mayen: you want
mayen: mango
tim: mmmmmmm masarap
mayen: heheh
tim: enjoy - have you got one there?
mayen: yes
mayen: ihave here
mayen: my sister buoght
mayen: how's oscar
tim: he's as hungry as you are -all the time
tim: he he
mayen: hehehe
mayen: really
tim: yah - got a "thing" inside him
mayen: maybe you never feed him
mayen: i saw a cat in here
mayen: its brown
tim: always - he opens the cupboards - tries to feed himself
tim: in the cafe?
mayen: yes
mayen: the owner bring him
mayen: hehehe he is alone
mayen: poor cat
tim: meaowwww
mayen: hehehe
mayen: i miss those daily conversation
tim: yah
mayen: but this day is really different
tim: so do I - it is sad
tim: why?
mayen: our conversation is like in the court with a lawyer
mayen: hehehe
tim: yes Me ludd
tim: would the prisoner please rise . . .
mayen: hehehe
mayen: i remember my father he wants me to be a lawyer
mayen: but i dont like
mayen: you want mangoes?
tim: yah - please - I miss them
mayen: are we friends now?
tim: I feel we are always friends - it is strange - always - no matter what
mayen: yes
mayen: friends
tim: huhuhuhuh
tim: I wanted more than that
mayen: it hurts
tim: it does
mayen: really hurts
mayen: like a song
mayen: i like it
mayen: the way we used to sing
tim: yah
mayen: so what's your plan
mayen: after this
tim: I have work coming soon - Mrs T and I are still at war
mayen: aha
mayen: would you still go on with your divorce?
mayen: not anymore?
tim: I think so
tim: we are still planning it
mayen: i wish you are free
tim: yah - so do I
mayen: no mess
tim: he he
mayen: no interruptions
mayen: hehehe
tim: peace
mayen: do i have to wait?
mayen: or not anymore?
tim: wow - a big question - I still want you - but am I mad?
mayen: yes
tim: I am mad?
mayen: sometimes stupid
mayen: but
tim: yah
mayen: and that's what you are
tim: yah - that's who I am
mayen: yes
mayen: you never answer me?
tim: aha
mayen: do i still have to wait?
tim: here comes the answer
mayen: hehehe
mayen: what?
mayen: not anymore?
tim: sorry - Mrs T on the phone
tim: she wants an answer as well
tim: she knows I'm chatiing with you
mayen: okay
tim: she says " Is it all over?" meaning me and her - I said yes -
tim: now I have to answer you
mayen: do i have to wait?
mayen: are you worth waiting?
tim: only you can answer that
mayen: i will wait
mayen: promise
tim: mWaaaaaaaah
tim: I am amazed
mayen: but
tim: but?
mayen: we will have to think everything
tim: yah
mayen: this is not easy
tim: no
tim: very hard
mayen: yes
mayen: really
mayen: hard
mayen: i read your e mail before
tim: yah
tim: which one?
mayen: it goes like this
mayen: that i tell you
mayen: before GOD
mayen: AS MY WITNESS
mayen: I DO LOVE YOU
mayen: I DO MARRY YOU
mayen: HAVE A FAMILY WITH YOU
mayen: A HOME TOGETHER
mayen: ALL THE THINGS WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT
mayen: ARE TRUE
mayen: this was august 10
mayen: the day i was in the hospital
tim: yah - the very same day
mayen: yes
mayen: here it goes
mayen: I AM INVESTING ALL MY TRUST IN YOU MY HEART
mayen: MY WORLDLY POSSESSIONS
mayen: MY FUTURE
mayen: I AM TRUSTING YOU WITH EVERYTHING
mayen: i dont know if i have to believe in this
mayen: it hurts
tim: and what did you do with that trust?
mayen: you are the one who never trust me
tim: blindly?
tim: you want to marry someone who is blind?
tim: stupid?
mayen: its hard
tim: sends money out just because his heart says so?
mayen: the money you sent me is a help
tim: that can only happen if we both have trust
tim: yah - I know - but help for genuine situations
mayen: and that's what you are doing
mayen: but i never thought
tim: well then - all I need to prove is that it's genuine
mayen: this give a color
mayen: green color
mayen: you cant prove it in a distance
tim: it is very hard to prove 6,000 miles away - and as our future depends on it - I need to get to the truth
mayen: its the truth
tim: exactly - but that is why it is such a perfect vehicle for a scam
mayen: no not a scam
tim: he he - we go round in circles
mayen: hehehe
mayen: yes
mayen: do you know why
mayen: we go roundin circles
tim: round and round - and that's what I've been doing - going round and round
tim: why?
mayen: be cause you are insisting your side
mayen: and me too on my side
mayen: no will be humble
mayen: no will accept
tim: no - the reason is - because the whole situation depends on my love for you
tim: and I need to know if that love is being abused
mayen: im not abusing
mayen: im not that kind of a person
tim: you are a clever person Mayen
tim: I cannot see into the depths of your heart
mayen: if i will do it, why to you?
mayen: why not to the millionaires
tim: because I was there
tim: that's no excuse
mayen: i know your financial status timmy
tim: I have a lot of money potentially coming
mayen: its only coming
tim: enough to make us happy
mayen: but not the very same day that it happend
tim: no - not yet
mayen: i never abuse you
mayen: and if you think i will do it
tim: but only you know that
mayen: then what for we are talking in here
tim: because my love for you is so strong - and it is important
mayen: its not strong timmy
mayen: its not
tim: it's not blind
tim: it's not stupid
tim: it's cautious - in an environment where caution is needed
mayen: i dont know
tim: the Internet -
mayen: i dont know
mayen: i dont know
tim: I hate distrusting you - I hate it - it's not how I wanted it at all
mayen: timmy, if you only knows
mayen: if you only know
mayen: that i never lie to you
mayen: but if you keep on insisting then
mayen: no reason
mayen: at all
tim: the only reason I sent out the letters was because of the passion I felt about it
tim: the same passion I feel for you
tim: it's energy
mayen: its not passion
tim: it propels me
mayen: you are accusing me
mayen: and that is the worst
tim: I am in a position of severe doubt - which - if I am right can only mean one thing - OK - I am premature - I will hide my writing from now - until I am finished with this.
mayen: you are taking away your messages from DIA
tim: that was an accident
mayen: an accident?
tim: I didn't realise yours would disappear
tim: when I deleted my profile
mayen: its un acceptable
mayen: timmy timmy timmy
tim: why?deleting my profile?
mayen: my file
mayen: the messages
tim: I only deleted my profile
mayen: okay
mayen: dont have to argue
tim: no
tim: it was unknown what would happen when I deleted my profile
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy timmy
tim: Mayen Mayen Mayen
mayen: dont know
mayen: why is thris happening
mayen: why is this happening
tim: it is a very big question
mayen: yes
mayen: GOD KNOWS THE REASON
tim: I have been asking Him for so much help
mayen: but how will you hear
mayen: you are deaf
mayen: he whisper you
mayen: but you never hear
mayen: HIM
tim: there was a whispering
mayen: okay you want mangoes
mayen: break
tim: yah masarap
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
tim: Mayen Mayen Mayen
mayen: i will ask you
tim: yah
mayen: why, we are still here
mayen: when we know it wont work
tim: he he - in the face of all reason - because we want to be here
mayen: hehehe
mayen: sounds funny
mayen: yes im thinking
mayen: why
mayen: hehehe
mayen: my friends told me
mayen: MAYEN DONT TALK TO TIMMY ANYMORE
tim: what?
mayen: but i still did
tim: I understand
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmyt
mayen: timmy
tim: Mayen Mayen Mayen
mayen: i think i have to go now
tim: you have to go? Where?
mayen: in my provine
mayen: there its peaceful
tim: yah
tim: it is
mayen: no computer
mayen: no celfone
tim: nope
tim: nope
mayen: yes
mayen: bye
tim: God be with you
mayen: are you still there
tim: yah I think so
mayen: hehehe
tim: i'll check
mayen: heheh
tim: no I've gone
tim: he he
mayen: now what will we do now
mayen: staring in the computer screen
tim: maybe you should go for a rest - to province - the truth is the truth - it will not cahnge
tim: and I shall get closer to it
tim: as to what sort of truth it is
tim: have you still got the ring?
mayen: yes
mayen: i have it
tim: really?
mayen: yes
mayen: i will keep it
mayen: i will give it back to you
tim: keep it safe
mayen: its yours
mayen: are you busy?
tim: phone again
mayen: aha
tim: won't be long
mayen: okay
tim: guess what?
mayen: what?
tim:Mrs T again, she says that tonight someone told her a very sad tale
mayen: what
tim: a boy - crying
tim: about his girlfriend
mayen: ah fortune telling?
tim: no
mayen: what
tim: she was in the Philippines
mayen: aha
tim: he sent her a lot of money
mayen: ah
mayen: then
tim: you know why?
mayen: why
time: you know why
mayen: why
tim: you know why
mayen: this is crazy
tim: she had an Ectopic Pregnancy
mayen: aha
tim: and they are so rare
mayen: aha
mayen: so okay
mayen: if you keep on believing on that
mayen: then
mayen: i told you
mayen: you go on with that thinking
mayen: yes
mayen: i do admit that the philippine
tim: we were talking about getting a message from God
mayen: has some knid of cases like also in tother asian country
mayen: but if you keep on basing on that
mayen: then
mayen: nothing to do with it
tim: you are very clever
tim: but I think God has the edge
mayen: dont insult me
mayen: it is not true
tim: it's true - you are clever
mayen: my case is different from those you based from
mayen: our story is different
tim: how?
mayen: you know the truth
tim: the truth cannot be spoken
tim: it is
mayen: i have the truth
mayen: now again
tim: yah you are the truth
mayen: go round in circles
mayen: you keep on insisting
mayen: listining to the people around you
mayen: and how about me
tim: and so so you - that what my heart says is true - but my heart is free - it just says love
mayen: you hear the truth
mayen: now
mayen: im not afraid
tim: what is the truth - you cannot speak the truth - it is - and it will always be - it doesn't need speaking
mayen: timmy go on
mayen: go on
tim: the truth doesn't require any pressure to be believed
mayen: im not pressuring you
tim: it speaks for itself
mayen: i was get angry because you keep on insulting me
mayen: yes
mayen: you are right
mayen: truth speaks for itself
time: and will always be there
mayen: yes
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
mayen: timmy
tim: Mayen Mayen Mayeeeeeeen
mayen: i have deleted my account in DIA
tim: yah?
mayen: we have talked
tim: we have - yah
mayen: and i think
tim: yah?
mayen: we just keep on round in circle
tim: it appears that way
mayen: yes
tim: you see had it been true - it would have been so easy to prove
mayen: its not easy
mayen: computer
mayen: internet
mayen: its so hard to believe
tim: but nobody even tried
mayen: have to go now
mayen: i hope someday
tim: God be with you
mayen: you will realise

That was it I thought - perhaps the last time we would ever chat. I didn't want to lose touch - I needed to find the truth.
My sensation during the chat however - I don't know whatever one can sense across the internet - was that she was lying - and still trying to manipulate me into removing my blog, on Sir Francis's bidding - trying to work me round - even trying to forge an artificial truce at some points in her conversation.
I was surprised to have the chat at all. If we did have a genuine relationship and the operation was all true, then Mayen was a real gem of a girl - such compassion - such a capacity for forgiveness. On the other hand, the alternative interpretation of events made her even more sinister - with her compulsive lies that flowed so readily - and her incessant manipulation of my emotions to satisfy her single purpose - obtaining money.
If there were no scar for me to ever see - in the flesh - so to speak - it is unlikely that I would ever see her again - so any of her hinting about a possible future together had to be complete fantasy.
In her mind, I'm sure, all that she was able to rely on, the only tool in her toolbox, so to speak, was my desire for her - the stereotypical male response to her - hence she would always be appealing to that side of me - never the logical side, the side that needed honesty - the rest of the chat speaks for itself.

Straight after the chat she fired off a quick email to me.

timmy,
this is so hard. but have to move on.. you keep on insulting me.. someday you will realise.. the truth is there but you refused them. now i cant bear it.
have to go.. be safe always and you will remain forever in me..

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 25 - Closure

Journey 24

The trouble for me was that the default image I had of Mayen, the Mayen who I felt in my being, the one left as my residual reality, after my brain had quietened down - was always the good Mayen - the girl that I had fallen in love with.
No matter how much suspicion entered my head, no matter how much seemingly incriminating evidence came my way - if it was only circumstantial and not irrefutable - I would always be left with the glow of this good Mayen in my heart.

Admittedly, this image was no doubt due to a combination of wish fulfilment on my part and Chameleon-like behaviour by her - which resulted in the creation of a Mayen that felt perfect for me - but that was the image that had developed from the start of our relationship - it was through the veil of that image that I met and spent ten days with her - in the flesh.
The bad Mayen had no tangible reality as far as I was concerned - even though it was starting to look as if this version were nearer to the truth than the good Mayen.
So, in my mind, I would try to combine bits of the bad Mayen with the bulk of the good Mayen - in search for possible explanations - trying to make my shade of grey from the black and the white - but I just didn't know enough about her.

I don't think that we can easily contend with only partial impressions of people - it's as if we need, as soon as possible and often prematurely, to create a real, whole person out of the tiny fragments of information we receive - especially when hope is involved. I think Mayen was experienced enough to know that I would do most of the work in creating her as my perfect beloved. Our early communications certainly bear that out.

So - Mayen had taken herself off to the province - the paradise we had visited together in June. Perhaps on instructions to bait me away from Sir Francis, to deflect the heat from him - perhaps to get herself out of the spotlight - the only real proof was to be found on her stomach.

How different it all seemed now.
From my initial ignorance about the Philippines - with my vague notions of sun and surf, coconut trees and beautiful young women - I was now being educated - my exploration online had uncovered a Philippines of a different colour - corruption, cronyism, racketeering, bribery and of course the extent of the crippling poverty that gives birth to all these darker characteristics.
I felt I'd had enough - more than a gutful of this. I suppose the eyes eventually get used to the dark - the nose accustomed to the smell - but I had barely scratched the surface and I felt I'd had enough. Uncovering the extent of this network of corruption - how easy it must be to purchase people's honesty - whether by threat, by favour or by pesos - wherever we turned - the fog of lies rose up in clouds ahead of us - concealing the truth.
How simple it is - the temptation to turn to the internet - why marry one husband when you can promise marriage to a hundred - and reap the rewards.

Mayen told me that she had done two years of a graduate course in Mass Communications in a college in Surigao. Now I don't suppose they studied the art of letter writing or telephone manners - no - I'm sure the main thrust of the course was in becoming internet savvy. Mayen told me that she felt great shame at not finishing the course - that she felt indebted to her parents who had paid for this education.
Well - that seems to fit the pattern perfectly - and accounts for my treatment by her family - as no more than a cash cow - the golden goose - a fish on a hook.

There was a sudden flurry of SMS between us - I can't recall who started it -
it could well have been me - but I ended up, after toying very briefly with the idea of continuing in a romantic vein, listening to the voice of reason - I just couldn't dislodge my suspicions.

SMS from Mayen 10.38 27/08/07
timmy, go on w/wat u r doing .. go on w/wat u r planing &
after dat ask urself . . Am i hapi? i luv u but it hurts. someday
u wil realised hw much u hurt me.

SMS from Mayen 11:04
I am now in province, w/my family.ill be back when evrything heals.
I thought i cn 4get u. but evrytime I
cn see d big swimmingpool we were swimming, it hurts.

SMS from Mayen 11.21
i dnt knw if i wil belive in u. u broke ur words once.
r u worth believing?
i dnt knw . . im afraid2 trust u again. its realy hard

SMS from Mayen 11.50
timmy wat ur planing? r u not satisfied
of accusing me? why? please dnt hurt me
anymore. for Gods sake..

SMS from Mayen 12.16
watever u r planing timmy, its up to u . . one day
u wil realise.. God knows evryth!ng..

What was I planning? A lot depended on the evidence that came in, if anyone I had asked for help came up with something that could be seen as conclusive. Only then could I turn either way - to apologising profusely to all I had insulted with my insinuations and cursing at my stupid overcautiousness that resulted in losing Mayen - that would haunt me for a long time to come.
Or - setting to work exposing the whole team that had corroborated in this despicable extortion - in an effort to warn others and make it difficult for this particular group of people to be able to continue.

I was getting very tired - this was all having an impact on my life - sleep patterns disrupted - not feeling my old self at all.
Jim and I were in constant communication - sifting every newly arrived email or text for inconsistencies - illogicalities - or emotional responses that didn't ring true, given the "alleged" situation.

On Tuesday 28th August I wrote an email to Sir Francis - inviting an explanation - that we patch up our relationship by a candid acceptance of the truth - no blame, no shame attached - simply truth for truth's sake.

Dear Sir Francis,
May I refer you to my very first email to you in which I state in the clearest possible terms that I was willing to honour my obligations to Mayen - provided I had unequivocal proof that I was not being cheated or lied to.
It is blatantly obvious from all the evidence that I have been sent, all the SMS messages, emails etc. that you, in collusion with the hospital and with Mayen's consent and full knowledge - have been trying to extort money from me.
With this in mind - I must re-evaluate the trust and friendship that I gave you all.
If this is how you conduct yourself when dealing with people from the west then everything I have written in my journal of events will stand tall - as a warning to others.
How can you be so incompetent to make a simple event appear like a scam? - because you were trying to stretch the truth - and you tripped yourself up in the process.
This simple fact casts doubt over everything - I have lost my trust in you, the hospital system in the Philippines, in Mayen.
If there are any scars resulting from this event - then they be on your conscience.
Through your deviousness in trying to make more money from me - blatantly taking advantage of a highly emotional situation - through your bullying approach, complete lack of understanding - total lack of effort in getting the truth to me over the distance between us - a beautiful relationship has come to an end.
I was sincere in everything regarding Mayen.
Through your greed and avarice and despicable behaviour - you have destroyed any future we might have had.
This whole event is a metaphor for relationships with the Philippines and the west.
You have not done yourself proud - nor have you been a shining example to your country.
Unless I am informed of the absolute truth - including motives, reasons, dates, names, facts, figures - of the events that have happened - the investigation that is under way will continue - it is out of my hands - and my words will remain as a reminder of what you have done.
Absolute honesty - and I mean absolute - could restore my trust - my faith in humanity.
I will not extend my hand with this opportunity again.
Yours in sincerity and truth.
Tim Cumper

Needless to say - I received no reply - Sir Francis had exited the arena.
Mayen however had obviously got word of the email I had sent - I imagine that it
sent Sir Francis into a rage.
She sent me an SMS.

SMS from Mayen 15:35 28/08/07 (Tuesday pm)
I dnt knw why is ds hapening.I want 2 hav peace of mind..
I told u b4 but u nvr listen 2 me..
I wil try 2 stop h!m..oh my goodness timothy.

I followed up with a letter of closure to Sir Francis.

Wednesday 29th August

Dear Sir Francis,
I offered you an honest hand - it was not shaken.
It is therefore time to draw this whole business to a close - it has been a costly business - the price I have paid emotionally being the highest. To have lost the most sublime and glorious love that I have ever felt in my life.
With that cost came the financial expense of it all - and considering that I was lured into the whole affair with false pretences from the beginning - perhaps our costs more or less balance out at the end of the day. There was the first flight in June - £675.00 - my spending money for the trip - which was eaten away by flights to Tacloban, cab drives to Pintuyan and back, all the presents, paying for the food in restaurants and at the barangay, Mayen's new cellphone, the fact that she used my cellphone all the time I was over there to receive her other business calls and SMS, the cost of the Grami Hotel - we cleared about £1,400.00 between us. Then there is the £100.00 sent via Western Union for the health checkup 09/07/07- the £160.00 sent via Western Union for Mayen's new rooms 02/08/07 - the £480.00 sent via Western Union for our pre-engagement ring 08/08/07 - the 2nd Flight £625.30 - which was a complete waste of money, my cellphone calls and landline calls to the Philippines - my time (which is priceless) - the longstanding help given to me by my people, setting up the Tierra Maria UK website £20.00 for the domain name and hosting for the short duration, the cost of having all those wonderful photographs developed and put on to CD's £75.00.
A grand total of £3535.30 if my sums are correct.
I think you can see - the overall loss is already mine - and enough is enough for all concerned.
Ah well - faint heart never won fair lady - is the saying we use over here, nothing ventured - nothing gained.
I would love Mayen to send me a photograph of the scar, if she would take the trouble - as a lasting reminder of my ungallant behaviour - I wouldn't want to make the same mistake again.
I shall put the whole episode down as one of life's myriad of experiences - and learn from it - and now consider the whole journey closed.
You will hear no more from me.
One positive note - I have discovered a strength of sincerity, honesty and loyalty in my beautiful wife that I had not realised - and perhaps that relationship is being re-kindled.
Yours in sincerity and truth.
Tim Cumper

I didn't mention the £300.00 lost because of the exchange rate when cashing in the travellers cheques from the aborted second trip, the international telephone calls - over £300.00 - the interest on the bank loan that I took out, anticipating the sale of the house.

Again - as expected no reply.

But - I didn't really want to lose touch, I was still desperate for the truth. It was only by keeping track of the little inconsistencies, as they appeared, that we could detect that there was a great deal of make-believe going on - so - yes - I did stoop to a rather low level here - did you spot it?
There is a bogus entry - the £480.00 sent by Western Union - allegedly two days before the hospital business occured.
I was interested to know if this might torment someone into resuming contact at some time. They would think that all they needed was the transaction number - to allow them to collect the money from the WU office in the Philippines.

Fortunately - as it happened - on reading through the final chat session we had before the hospital fiasco - I had made a point of asking her to check her email on the Thursday 9th August. I also had a telephone engineer visiting that day - I mentioned it because we were having trouble at home with the telephone and internet service - so I would possibly not be available for a chat session that day.
Both those facts gave some credibility to me sending the money and for her not receiving my email with the transaction number (and wishes for her to buy a pre-engagement ring - and be wearing it when we were to have met again - on the following Wednesday.)

Apart from chasing up various loose ends in the UK - things went very quiet - I began to adjust my life.
Yes - I missed the emails - the chats - having Mayen there to focus my love - someone to dream about - to weave my fantasies about - but I started to accept that life would probably not have been the glorious technicolour dream that I might have hoped - even if our relationship had continued and all of our plans been realised - I had read the Philippine Family Code - all two hundred and fifty seven acts - in many more paragraphs - dealing with everything from the ownership of buried treasure to how to share the family herd of goats - and of course the acts on prenuptial agreements and communal property. I had read the Philippine tax laws, all the protocols and red tape required for immigration, marriage, purchasing property, investing money, banking etc. It is a fact - virtually every conceivable transaction or completion of paperwork requires a payment of some kind. Hidden costs in the Philippines probably amount to more than the advertised ones.

I started to breath a sigh of relief - but nevertheless - a sigh that still had the unmistakable pain of an aching heart.

On Thursday 30th August I despatched four emails to members of the board at the Medical Center Paranaque - not holding much hope that they would actually get through the narrow opening into what had begun to resemble an impenetrable fortress.

Respected Sirs,
I am writing to you as the outcome of three weeks of severe emotional trauma and anxiety as a result of the gross unprofessionalism of some members of staff in your hospital.
I am humbly pressing you to urgently look in to this matter in search of an explanation.

[I went on to list all the events that had or hadn't happened, concluding with:]

It was the duty of the hospital to get in touch with me urgently on the Monday 13th August.
They failed to do so - and as a direct result of this inaction, they corroborated the evidence that there was a fraud taking place, preventing me from flying to the Philippines.
How dare that same hospital detain the patient further than was necessary simply as a consequence of their own inaction.
Words cannot express my displeasure nor express the frustration I have experienced due to the behaviour of the people concerned.
I cannot tell you how grieved I am to have had a beautiful relationship destroyed through the hospital's apathy - complete lack of understanding or concern for the wellbeing of one of your patient's and myself who accepted responsibility for her at this time.
I have been in a living hell for 3 weeks trying to get to the bottom of this, trying to get honest answers from honest men - it seems I have not found any yet - which is why I am hoping that writing to you may bring a change to my fortune in that respect.
I shall take this much further - to the highest authority - to get a satisfactory answer.
I sincerely hope that you treat my questions with respect and ensure that each of them is answered honestly - with full knowledge of all the facts.
Yours in urgent need of a thorough explanation.
Mr Timothy E Cumper.
UK

I had given up expecting any reply - when on September 10th I received this - as an MS Word attachment to an email sent using the hospital's email account - no means of reply to the actual "Legal Counsel" himself - I wondered whether he knew himself that he had written it.

September 6, 2007
Dear Mr. Cumper:
We write as Legal Counsel for Medical Center Parañaque (MCP) of which your e-mails have been very critical.
At the very outset, to the hospital, you were and still are a complete stranger. It dealt with Ms. Ma Ana Samson Betita as a patient. It was not at liberty to circulate information about her; the hospital treats its data in confidence. That explains the brevity of its messages to you. For whatever it might be worth, your name has not been mentioned in her medical records, let alone the reason for you as the source of payment for her hospital bills.
Moreover, most of the matters you have e-mailed are personal among Ms. Betita, your colleagues and you. The hospital is absolutely alien thereto and has understandably nothing to do therewith, i.e., your intended migration, marriage and travel which, after all, you could cancel at will.
Most importantly, Medical Center Parañaque is a humanitarian endeavor, not a vehicle for the illicit gain that you suspected. The Philippines , while not as advanced and as upright as your country, also has regulatory bodies that do not countenance the practice that you have concluded. Throughout the three (3) decades of its existence, MCP has not engaged in any unlawful financial scheme whatsoever. And it is definitely an illusion that it could prey upon a stranger like you who is half the globe away and whose funds are not within the country's shores. The hospital is run by doctors who seek to heal, not to steal.
It might interest you to know that the hospital let go of Ms. Betita even despite her non-payment of a substantial portion of her bills.
This writer is a lawyer and, by the culture in his milieu, encourages those who have been wronged to air their grievances before appropriate fora where, in your case, you might ventilate your "three weeks of severe emotional trauma and anxiety as a result of the gross unprofessionalism of some members of staff in your hospital."
Thank you.
Very truly yours,
EFREN C. CARAG

You will notice that this letter was not sent to me straight away - obviously it took four days to collect approval. There is no address to reply to, identifying the firm of lawyers - and more importantly - what lawyer worth his salt would ever expect an unsigned "official" letter to be convincing? There was ample time in that four days to scan the image and sign it - they didn't even bother.

I discovered that Efren C Carag writes articles for The Philippine Enquirer amongst other newspapers and found him registered with various Philippine Bar Chapters - and I asked at one of them if they would forward an email to him, urging a personal exchange between us, bypassing the hospital, but nothing came of it - no email address was forthcoming - although I was given his work "street address" - but that I had already unearthed online.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 26 - From Surigao

Journey 25

Picking up the pieces at home was not easy - in the severely disturbed atmosphere that I had created around my marriage - my wife's side of the family had all turned their backs on me.
The events since I revealed to my wife that I was considering divorce - June 11th it was - by a cruelly unintentional coincidence, our wedding anniversary - had certainly brought our problems to the surface - but now we were constantly tripping over them.
Recently we have managed a few laughs over it all - particularly when my wife told me that the reason she became suspicious and immediately jumped to the conclusion that I had found someone else - was that I started off by saying "I have been thinking of decorating the house ."

Ten days passed without me hearing a word from the Philippines.
Then - out of the blue - thinking it was all sliding into the past I received an email from Mayen - subject - from Surigao, a city on Mindanao - a short ferry trip from where her parents are in Pintuyan. Surigao was where Mayen had lived during her school years - staying with her sister. We had planned on visiting Surigao on my second trip.
Our discovery later on that the IP address on all these "post-hospital" emails are the same, indicates that Mayen is only pretending to be in Surigao, but I fall for it at the time.

Friday September 7th.
timmy,
hi how are you? sorry for e mailing you.. i just remember you .. passing by this internet cafe in town. im here in my sister's place in surigao.. she invited me.. i dont know what to say..
it feels so strange..knowing that before we are used to it..chatting, e mailing.. and sharing ideas and more.. now it feels awkward.. feels like crying..it seems that there is a blocking..
but i still hope you are doing fine..
sorry to tell you this but i have to..
i missed you.. and i everytime i feel it i have here your book..
i just read it..and imagining you are talking to me..
sounds funny but its true..
have to go now.. sister is waiting.. we will buy mangoes..
you tell me,how can i forget you timmyboy....its really hard....

My heart skips a few beats - what is going on now?
Mayen has no doubt just been informed that I am still on my quest for truth - word has leaked from the hospital that I have been writing to the hospital board for an explanation. I expect that my emails were intercepted before they reached their intended recipients - although quite how far the rot of corruption has spread inside this hospital is difficult to gauge.
As far as Mayen and her cohorts were concerned though, why would I have been writing to the hospital unless I believed it all to be true? Perhaps there was still a chance that I could be finally convinced - finally steered back on course by Mayen's powers of persuasion.

In a split second, the last, faint glowing embers of love in my heart turn to consuming flames again. I reply to Mayen.

Mayen - Mayen - Mayen,

Your message came
Like a bolt from the blue,
Not deserving or expecting
A word from you,
Yet . . . I cannot forget,
And often my heart
Finds need to cry.
Still torn apart
By a love so deep,
A fear so high,
And sadness
Drains my well
Bone dry.
I have no home
On either shore,
My soul,
Drifting,
Evermore,
Until in heaven
I see your smile.
Strange, today
Our twisting clay
Will find the same advisors,
Who steer us clear away -
What spell that ties us?
We hear them say.
Yet, come what will,
I ache inside -
And cannot hide
That April's seed
Is growing still.

And on the same day another lengthy email I sent to Mayen - obviously - the pent up emotions of the previous ten days surfacing. Was she feeling the same way?

Mayen - Mayen - Mayen,
Thank you so much for getting in touch - I'm so glad that you haven't changed your email or anything - you know - hardly a single moment goes by without me thinking of you - true - talaga - wondering - hurting.
I cannot expect you to forgive me - but you know - I can't help loving you still.
I really can't - deep down.
Ignore anything I might have written in anger - please - I was angry - and so confused - and really, really scared.
Perhaps now - now that I know I cannot hurt you any more than I have - and you know that I can never hurt you like that again - I can tell you the truth about everything I was feeling.
Please forgive me - it's all down to my insecurity - not trusting you - and it got way, way out of hand.
I simply cannot help believing that meeting you was simply too good to be true - I cannot believe how deeply I feel for you - I cannot believe that you were willing to return that love - simply - for love's sake. That is very unkind of me, I know - please be brave - I know that you are - listen to what I have to say without flinching - because it is important that I say these things.
If I look back over our relationship - including the visit - I find it impossible to believe that you would be genuinely interested in an "old" man like me - truth - I cannot imagine anybody like you - young, beautiful, bright - so much fun to be with - as you say - with the whole of your life ahead of you - I just find it really hard to believe that you did actually try to make it happen with me - just for love's sake - although if you felt at all like I did - it was a compulsion - and I do know that we had a very strong connection.
My crazy, stupid, doubting, suspicious mind - full of words that I am hearing, reading, thinking - started to think that you were simply trying to get money from me. My dearest Mayen - we were planning to be married - all I have would become yours - willingly - as long as it is respected and not abused.
The love I feel for you is so deep - so powerful - when it turns upside down through the slightest fear - I see a frightening inverse - a really scary picture.
That picture - and I have to tell you this - to get it out of my system - was that you would have perhaps started a relationship with anyone - that I was not particularly special to you - I was snapped up by someone waiting for that purpose - remember - my picture wasn't even on my profile when you contacted me - and that I was being groomed for a visit - which was just a holiday for you - just a spending spree for you and your family - that visit allowed us to make love - initiated by you - and on my return - the requests for money started, the pregnancy health check - the money for your new rooms - ending up with the hospital. I was completely willing to send you money - it was my greatest pleasure to help you my darling Mayen - but you know times are hard for me at the moment - but on my side, it was never about the money - but about trust and respect.
The hospital episode - coming when it did - just before my visit - just raised my suspicions to that point of no return.
a) Because unfortunately an Ectopic Pregnancy is the perfect vehicle for scamming money.
b) The timing was such that I would arrive in Manila with a lot of cash. You could have disappeared somewhere. Obviously all your work colleagues and family were involved - plus some people at the hospital.
c) I would end up being in debt perhaps to Sir Francis - being refrained from checking things at the hospital - being refrained from daring to look to see if there was a scar.
d) Not getting any contact from the hospital at all - only the email from Marivien with the figures on - seemed so suspicious - and I needed to have verification before I left - hardly any time at all.
e) Nothing followed - from anyone - that could not be interpreted as part of a scam.
So everything turned upside down - I have spent hours and hours trying to get some truth from people - I am still trying.
Yet I am haunted by the possibility that it is true.
But I could not trust a word from you or Sir Francis or the hospital - and I could not listen to the sound of your voice - I feared it - I feared being turned around again - to face someone I had no real idea about - I do not know you well enough - all I know is that I love you and want you - but I could not trust even my love for you - fearing that it was simply a fantasy - that my heart had been cunningly turned to your direction - all for the sake of this final scam.
Part of the truth is, unfortunately, that these things do go on - and are well documented.
The other truth is - that I lost faith in the love I felt - it appeared to have been built on sand.
I know all along it has been a test of my faith - and I failed at this point - but I was really, really scared for my life - not knowing what I would find in Manila on my arrival.
But that just proves that I did not put you first - even the slightest possibility that it was true and I should have flown to be with you - but my fear got the better of me and held me back.
I need to know you for a lot longer - we need to communicate - your letter is so wonderful - I wish you would write more - I need to know you inside out.
You know me now - weak, a moral coward - unable, at the end, to stand up to his own fears - to stick by his own faith in what he felt - through suspicion and doubt.
I am a fool - because I will never find another you - never - ever.
I was so sincere with my love for you - all our plans and everything. Maybe you were right - it was the separation and the distance that caused me to forget and get so scared - I really want to see you again at some time - I cannot live without resolving this situation between us.
Darling, darling Mayen - I am so, so sorry to have hurt you that way.
I want to put things right between us - and between me and all the people I have hurt and written about.
It is hard - very hard - distance - time - culture.
I had a faith in what I felt for you - it felt so divine, so divine - and I am so hollow now, having turned my back on that faith.
It might be hard for you to understand - it is crazy - and sounds hypocritical - but this only happened because of my feelings for you - the brighter the light - the darker the shadow.
I was so scared that my love for you was no more than a manipulation - by someone who is so clever - so clever - at seeing into my soul.
Please - please - please - keep in touch - my days and nights are empty without you - so empty - but only keep in touch with the pure, bright, shining truth.
I would rather us be silent than be dishonest.
I would rather slowly try to forget than to live with an illusion.
I don't ever want to hide anything from you.
You're right - it is about happiness - and I am not happy here.
Please forgive me - for my inaction - for my horrid words - could I beg you for a chance to try and put things right?
We must take our time - we must communicate - from the heart - in absolute honesty.
We are still at war here, despite the lies I wrote to Sir Francis about me and Mrs T - it is not working for us - that was my twisted anger. I will apologise. Big time.
I want that hope back again - that happy future to beckon me - our plans - we must take our time - but I will try to put things right - all round - if you will only allow it.
I could not conceal my love under a cloak of simple friendship - after all we have been through.
I can only leave it up to you - perhaps you understand a little.
Quite simply - it is hell being apart from you - but I am still wanting you so badly - badly enough to make cautious plans.
Maybe our story is not over?
Can we write another chapter?
Timmyboy
Please write again.
Tell me everything - everything - honestly - I am desperate for the truth. Desperate.
How can I beg you not to lie to me - please - for the slightest respect - do not do that.
Please just tell me your story - right from the start - please, please, please.
Abolish my doubts with your rays of light - please - on my knees?

XXX

Mayen replies - all this on Friday 7th September.

timmy,
all that im saying to you was true.. from the moment i saw you in DIA and from the last word i say to you all is true.. i dont have to waste my time chatting with you, giving you my time and giving myself to you if i was just playing.. i told you my past, about my family and my friends and my lifestyle.. and everything.. was it not enough? i let you see everything to me so that all your doubts and worries will gone and you yourself witnessed.. think of it, do you think all was fake? on that day that i have you, i decided to marry you because i know you by heart and i know you that you are such a good man to me.. my ideal man.. it doesnt matter about our age gap, differences and culture its all about the feeling that i have for you. i have no intention to fool anybody, or to you.. its not my nature.. i grew up from a poor but a happy, loving family and they teach me how to respect and have dignity in my own.. yes i am very ambitious gurl i admit it, but doing such things you were accusing me is not a way of having my ambitions.. i believe its not a way.. its hardwork and perseverance..and that's what my grandpa taught me.... i loved you as you are, and i respected you, i chose you to be my future husband but it really hurt, it turned down because you distrusting me.. and its really very hard for you and for me to have it back..
evrything that had happened to me timmy was really true.. that case ectopic pregnancy is rare but it happened to me..even me i'd never expect that it could happened to me. you remember before i told u i was not always feeling well, i always vomit i loose my appetite and blah.. blah... you told me to go for check up, and yet i did.. the doctor told me it was negative result.. but there are symptoms of pregnancy.. and i have to go back again on the 27th of july for check up.. to confirmed what's really going on.. but on the 27th i never come back.. coz i feel fine..then august 2, 2007, my monthly period was came and i told you im not pregnantcoz i have a monthly period.. but i was wondering why its too early.. i know i have it every 2nd week or 3rd week of a month.. i thought it was just changing cycle.. then after few days i decided to visit my sister adelaide in quezon city novaliches.. we had a long chat i cant forget it..and when i returned home in water fun, august 10, 4:30. i really have a severe pain in my tummy, i cant help it.. its really very painful, i thought it was just a stomach trouble but its different. i never experience a pain all my life.. on the morning i ask ate glo for help.. she told me i will bring you to the hospital.. iwas really crying.. im worried on that time.. how to pay the hospital.. then ate glo brought me to medical center of paranaque. then as they examined me, the laboratory test said i was pregnant the doctor told me i should undergo operation because the baby is in the tube not in my womb.. and its really very risky, i might die.. i was worried, im thinking how i will pay the hospital? what will happened to me? i was rattled, dont know what to do plus shouting of the severe pain..really hard.. i called you up i told you be ready for the hospital bills..but you misinterpreted it.. im so sorry.. i called sir F coz he is the only one who can help me, he came then he pay for the deposit for my operation. then i called marivien to e mail you.. coz i do believe that she's the only one i can lean on communicating with you.. and that's how i will trust a person timmy... but what did you do? you suspected her, and even sir F, and ate glo.. they help me on those times but you suspected them.. timmy.. that was the time i needed you most,the time that i thoughtyou will be there.. i was waiting for you on your arrival..but you never came.. those days and nights in the hospital was really a hell for me..
thinking how to pay for my operation, the hospital bills and evrything.. plus you hurting me, you distrusting me.. you were accusing me... its really very painful.. that was the worst thing that ever happened to me.but i was really stronger then.. until my family was the last who help me..it was not a show timmy, it was real.. and its really hard for you to believe but its true.. The hospital failed to e mail you because they told me, its a personal problem.. they told me " if he never trust you mayen, that he saw you before, you encounterd each other, how can he trust us, he dont know us.. that's what they say..i was really ashamed.. i beg them to e mail you.. they did but its too late..
timmy, i could not make you believe...its only on your self.. you are the one who told me, you are in fear..and yet you really are in fear.. its in your book that i read, HOW COULD YOU TRUST OTHER PEOPLE WHEN YOU,,,,YOU NEVER TRUST YOURSELF..
and that's what you are timmy..THE SCAR in my tummy, it will remain forever.. its really hard to forget you coz evry moment of my life i can feel it, i can see it.. and it reminds me of you... and our little angel.. i supposed to name him as TIMMYBOY, if he was a boy.. but he was gone..
timmy, timmy, timmy.......... if you only know what i'd been through? if you were only here with me.. and tell you that all is true..im true to you.. but dont know if you can make it again.. maybe you can make it if you are stronger, braver enough as me.. im trying to understand you.. i dont want to live in hatred its hard for me to move on.. so timmy, dont be scared..dont.. coz if you will always scared, doudbtful, and suspicious you wont be happy for the rest of your life.. i assure you..
missed you really.. hope your safe always.. im praying for you too..
regards to oscar...

Oh my goodness - I think to myself - what have I done? Can she really be this wonderful person? I cannot let her go. My love for her grows and grows.
Yet - still - on the other side - there is so much doubt - surely these two people cannot exist in the same body?
Confusion returns - but of course, maybe the answer will come.
Mayen is trying to regain my trust - and doing everything right with that regard.
We have a few recriminations still - and I don't pretend to give up easily - but I gently accommodate myself to her version of the truth. I want her to reveal her true colours.

I checked in my diary when I was actually told by Mayen that the pregnancy was a false alarm - my entry on Monday 21st July reads ". . . I have had news that the baby was a false alarm - we are now talking about wanting twins . I feel sad but relieved, coming so soon, it certainly would have been a strain. "

On 9th September we are having a chat session - another bombshell is dropped.

tim: what does Sir Francis say about me? Can you repeat it?
tim: is it censored?
mayen: dont contact with them
mayen: i lost my job
tim: what?
tim: why?
mayen: his wife was angry with me
tim: why?
mayen: coz of what had happened
tim: why she angry at you?
mayen: she blame me for the mess
tim: that's not fair at all
tim: what mess?
mayen: like what you did
mayen: sending all the messages
tim: yes but as far as she was concerned - what mess?
tim: ah - my messages for help?
mayen: to the company to the hospital
mayen: and everything
mayen: i lost them all
tim: oh my goodeness - I'm so sorry Mayen - so sorry.
mayen: are you happy doing it to me timmy?
tim: oh my goodness
mayen: why?
time: no I'm not happy at all - trust me on that
mayen: why
mayen: why
mayen: if you only knew
mayen: how i feel
mayen: losing you
mayen: losing my job
tim: but it was not your fault - why you lose the job? That doesn't make any sense
mayen: losing the friendship
time: but why they blame you at all - it was a tragedy
mayen: dont know
tim: I'm so sorry - talaga - totoo
tim: so sorry
mayen: its easy for you to say that
mayen: sorry mayen
tim: I mean it though
mayen: hope your happy timmy
tim: when did this happen?
mayen: doing it to me
tim: I'm not happy at all
tim: when did it happen?
mayen: thats why im here in province
tim: when did they tell you?
mayen: tell me whata
tim: goodbye to the job
mayen: after i released in the hospital
tim: you went straight to Province?
mayen: yes
mayen: huh
mayen: timmy
mayen: dont know why
tim: Mayen - Mayen -buko baby - I'm lost for words - how sad this is
mayen: you did it to me
mayen: now happy?

All in all, this chat session was very profound, we dug deep - the conversation covered God, Pride, Mayen's married friends, the promises I had made to her family before I left the province - generally putting me to shame - oh yes, and forbidding me to make any contact with the gang - even if I were to revisit the Philippines.
The most odd thing about it was the disclosure that Mayen had lost her job - been fired - and because of Sir Francis's wife?

Monday 10th September - the same day I received the reply from the hospital "Legal Counsel" - I send this email to Mayen.
We have started chatting again on Yahoo Messenger - I detect a great many hints about her "old school friends . . . now married . . . with families . . ."

Mayen, Mayen, Mayen - it was so good to chat again yesterday - if we continue to exchange - letting our rivers run their course - we shall see if we join together - just by sharing our lives - honestly - openly - we will grow in understanding - and go where our lives, our feelings take us - just as we did before.
We are still the same people - I have shown you my cautious side - and also my determination to reach the truth about something that was so critically important - the truth about us - as the whole of my future depended on knowing - that is why I did what I did - which has offended and made people angry - I was so frustrated at not getting any response.
A response from your friends, a response from the hospital - I could not speak to you - the sound of your voice renders me incapable of thinking clearly - you know that - I had to give myself a chance.
You are an excellent mirror for me to learn about myself - it seems that you are teaching me on a very deep level about really important things I should know about myself.
I have no idea if I have any similar value to you - in your life.
It is a mystery to me - that you are still communicating at all - no mystery as to why I am - I am so attracted to you - your wildness - your strength - your beauty - your youth - your voice (he he) - your wisdom - your good heart - your brightness - just totally - you, you, you.
It would be such a powerful chapter to our story - if we managed to start over - if we could still find a lasting joy together - the simple, happy life that we had planned.
As always - and even more so now - I have no right whatsoever to try to influence your state of mind - don't worry, my darling Mayen - s-l-o-w - I'm going really slowly now.
A lasting devotion to you is still within my heart - despite my inactions - and despite my shame - nothing has changed how I feel for you.
I hope you are feeling well and having a relaxing time with your sister - you deserve a good rest after your terrible ordeal.
I was so shocked to learn that you were asked to leave your job - that seems so unfair - to put that on top of the pile of your troubles - when none of it was your fault at all.
I really feel like writing to Sir Francis - despite saying to him I wouldn't be in touch again - and asking him for his explanation.
But you have forbidden me to write - so I won't - without your express permission.
I do need to apologise - sometime - I really do - but that can wait for the future.
I have a great deal of work planned up until February - and really need to get earning a wage - I have had a lot of expenses this summer - one way or another - I still have the bills to pay while I have the house - despite sharing it with a mad-woman - it is my home at the moment.
I shall absorb myself in my work - and hopefully - keep in constant communication with you, my sweetheart, still - the only woman I truly love - and just keep a finger on the pulse.
If you read this early Monday - I might still be online - if you would care for a chat.
mWaaaaaaah - my buko-baby
Godbless you - get well and return to joy again soon.

Love you still - totoo - want you still - talaga.
Timmyboy
XXX

Mayen replies - by the way, the remark I made about the knifing is nowhere near as dramatic an incident as it may sound, but things at home were obviously all in turmoil again now the "relationship" seemed to be back on at times - although I think doubt and suspicion now held the majority of votes - I was pursuing the truth much more than I was striving for a relationship.

timmy,timmy timmy....im afraid of what you told, about your wife.. she might knifed you.. so scary.. oh my goodness! its really funny but scary as well.
i always get in touch with you, just like before.. as i have said the pain i have for now will pass away.. it will just take time.i'm praying we could be as close as before, not as strange as we feel right now.. its awful, really..
i want to understand you like before, practicing my patience.. and be strong..
but sometimes i cant hide the fear.. you might hurt me again..but i hope it wont happened again.
timmy, again i have to tell you this thousands time.. i never lie to you..i'm always true and sincere about our relationship. i want you to be happy, like me very happy especially when i'm with you. the people around me might tell, IM CRAZY, IM A FOOL, A STUPID, but i cant help my self longing and loving you.. i hope i can forgive you someday.. and im sure i can. slowly as i'm healed.
the plans we had, and everything, we dream,hope it will come true.. not just a dream but in reality..
I advise you not to keep in touch with sir F or to any of those people you have hurt.. even me i never keep in touch with them.. because i want them not to be reminded of what you did.. if you will write them, they wont believe you anymore..
so just let those things passed and someday evrything will be fine.. i hope so..
be safe always..im praying for you.. hope to talk to you everyday..
mahal kita..
mayen

A theme that Mayen was constantly stressing was that I was on no account to communicate with any of her old gang in Manila - Sir Francis especially. I kept saying I would write and apologise - but she would tell me that they wouldn't believe me anyway. What on earth was going on - what was she up to? I could sense all this working towards either another squeeze or the realisation that here was a remarkable woman indeed - one I would be so lucky to continue my relationship with.

Maybe we were both simply lost in the maze, the hall of mirrors - enchanted by our own reflections. Each of us had created our very own phantom - neither of us could see the other clearly at all - but were both obstinately persevering - chasing the original dreams we had woven - whatever they might have been.
Yes - I was still mightily confused by it all.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 27 - Webcam

Journey 26

More and more interesting stuff was being revealed every time we had a chat.
Here are some extracts from 11th September:

mayen: dont you know that sir f was really angry
mayen: with you
mayen: i have to tell you this
tim: how you know?
mayen: coz the last time we talk
mayen: he told me
mayen: that he was angry with you
tim: on the phone?
mayen: before i fly to leyte
tim: or did he tell you in hospital?
mayen: we met all of the gang
mayen: have dinner
mayen: he told me he disappointed with you
mayen: he want to tell the embassy about it
mayen: im scared
mayen: i told him not to do it
tim: yah - he told me to contact the Embassy - and he said that he would
mayen: yes
mayen: yes
mayen: he was angry because of being unreasonable
mayen: he want to file a libel case against you
mayen: really
mayen: but i told him not to
mayen: i dont want to be on that
mayen: oh my goodness
mayen: now i dont have contact with him
mayen: anymore
mayen: dont know what happened
tim: no excuse for me - huhuhuh
tim: just madness
mayen: yeah he told me
mayen: mayen forget him
mayen: he is mad
mayen: hehehe
mayen: really
.......................
[The last time she talked to Sir Francis? How did she know about the penultimate email I sent him then?
Anyway - so Sir Francis and the gang are all out for a meal, discussing a libel case against me, in support of Mayen - and then he sacks her?]
.......................
mayen: how's your friend?
tim: we are at odds now
tim: he's given up on me
tim: can't believe I don't go along with his ideas any more
tim: it's too far fetched
tim: there comes a point when it is just too unbelievable
mayen: timmy, he is still your friend
tim: I just simply want to believe in my beloved Mayen -
mayen: i understand of his ideas because it happened to him
tim: yah - but he'll know the truth soon enough
tim: I don't resent him trying to help
tim: but we agree to disagree
tim: yah - but he did influence me a lot
mayen: yes
mayen: really
tim: if I hadn't gone to him after the church I would have flown
mayen: yes
mayen: you know what
tim: and met Marivien at the airport
tim: what?
mayen: when i was in the hospital
tim: yah?
mayen: i have an instinct that you will fly
tim: yah - I was going to
mayen: but im scared you will pass to a friend
mayen: and tell anything to you
tim: really? how weird is that?
mayen: and it would be a reason you will not come home to me
tim: and that's just what happened
mayen: really i was crying
mayen: and the moment you told me that
mayen: i believe
tim: oh darling - I am so sad - so sorry for it all
mayen: i really have an instinct
tim: yah - you have
tim: all your dreams and visions have been correct yah?
mayen: yes
mayen: the time i cant sleep thinking and crying
tim: so you know it will all work out ok?
tim: have another dream quick
mayen: no before
tim: dream a happy ending for us
mayen: hope so
tim: yah quick - zzzzzzzz
mayen: life is ot a fairyale
mayen: sir F told me mayen life is not a bed of roses
tim: no it's real
tim: yah he wrote that to me - he said we had made a bed of nails
mayen: there are times you will sleep in the bed of nails
tim: yah
mayen: yah and thats it
mayen: hehehe
tim: well - it was a very unfortunate accident of nature
mayen: it really hurts
mayen: but it happened we can never turn it back
tim: very unfortunate - but I did not think at the time -
tim: I just wanted to bring new life out of our love
mayen: it happened 5 days of your arrival
....................
[There is one detail that is clearly remembered - insemination day.]
...................
tim: yah -and I should have believed that the miracle was true
mayen: yes
mayen: it happened to me
mayen: my second life
tim: I should have had strength in that belief
mayen: this is really a miracle
tim: how do you mean - your 2nd life?
mayen: yes
mayen: this is my second life
mayen: coz
tim: after when?
mayen: the operation
mayen: i thought i might die
mayen: really
mayen: but its miracle
tim: during it?
mayen: i have life again
mayen: yes
mayen: august 10
tim: yah - were you out cold?
mayen: huhuhuh
mayen: yes
tim: and did you dream?
mayen: yah
mayen: i dreamt
tim: did you float about?
mayen: yes
mayen: i dreamt of nowhere
mayen: just white clouds
mayen: and a voice
mayen: told me
mayen: to go back
mayen: to life
mayen: really
mayen: cant believe
tim: wow - yah - I believe
mayen: i told mama about it
mayen: shes crying
mayen: she thought she will loss another child
.....................
[Talking now about the Dr at the hospital.]
.....................
tim: but did she say if there was any particular reason why you had Ectopic?
mayen: yes
tim: any underlying cause?
mayen: yes
tim: what was it? [A big pause here . . . & then . . . ]
mayen: it may cause of pelvic inflammatory disease
tim: the common cause - yah
mayen: thats the most
mayen: coomon cause
tim: on the increase as well
mayen: yah
tim: apparantly
mayen: and the liitle angel was not in the womb
mayen: he stayed in the tube
mayen: huhuhu
tim: what did she say about future pregnancies?
tim: yah - poor angel
mayen: i have to be careful then
tim: be careful? get yoourself monitored?
mayen: she told me to avoid pregnancy as early as possible
mayen: maybe yeard
tim: yah
mayen: years
tim: yah
mayen: to heal operation as well
tim: yah
mayen: its really threatening
tim: did they remove the tube?
mayen: no they get the blood
mayen: and clean everything
mayen: she told me im so lucky to know it as early
mayen: if not they will remove my tube
tim: so it hadn't ruptured?
mayen: huhuhu and its imposiible to have a baby again
tim: you have another tube
mayen: yah
mayen: no more twins timmmy
mayen: heheheh
tim: had it ruptured?
mayen: what ruptured?
tim: the tube?
mayen: the word ruptured cant understand
tim: exploded
mayen: yes
tim: aha
mayen: thats why i have severe pain
tim: yah
mayen: really i never felt it all my life
tim: you were lucky to survive
mayen: yah
mayen: on that day from my sisters visit
mayen: on the dawn i felt severe pain
..................
[It is usual to remove the Fallopian tube once it has ruptured.]
.................
tim: curly hair
tim: mwaaaaaaaah
mayen: im still curly
mayen: yes
tim: yah - luscious and curly
mayen: no more date in asia
mayen: huhuhu
tim: no need - is Miss Ann still there/
tim: we can join again if you want?
mayen: maybe still working
mayen: no
tim: in DIA
tim: she's gone as well?
mayen: miss ann is still there i think
mayen: dont have contact with her
tim: no - don't worry - i won't
tim: you are really concerned about that aren't you? me contacting them
mayen: no
tim: it seems like it
mayen: i told you i dont have contact with them
mayen: to miss ann
tim: I know - I said I won't
mayen: hehehe
tim: don't worry - I have no need to contact them
tim: just thought I'd tell them how much I love you
mayen: we will work on our own
tim: he he
tim: yah
mayen: yes
tim: yah ok
mayen: ok
tim: ok
mayen: mmwwah
tim: mwaaaaaaah
mayen: what time is there now/
tim: 8:04 am
.......................
[Miss Ann - one of Mayen's work colleagues - could Mayen have unwittingly suggested that Miss Ann considers DIA to be work?]
......................
mayen: sir f IS CALLING
mayen: huhuhu
tim: yah you said
tim: you speak to him?
mayen: yes
tim: what he say?
mayen: he told me the lawyer is ready
mayen: huhuhu
mayen: oh my godness
tim: what lawyer?
mayen: i have to tell you this
tim: yah
mayen: i told you sir F wants to file a libel case againts you
mayen: and i told him not to
tim: yah
mayen: he ask me if i have contact wiht you
tim: yah
mayen: i told him no
tim: maybe he will email me then
mayen: he told me to ask a letter from my family
tim: yah saying what?
mayen: and sent it to embassy to ask for help
mayen: to bring back the damages
tim: help for what?
mayen: you made
tim: what damages?
mayen: this is really crazy
tim: what damages?
mayen: you know already the same
mayen: shame
mayen: you did
tim: no I don't - what damages?
mayen: he thought you turn away
mayen: ypur obligations
tim: from what?
mayen: wht had happened
mayen: to me
tim: no I always told him I would pay - that is a lie
mayen: to the hospital
mayen: blah
mayen: blah
mayen: blah
mayen: timmy
tim: I told him from our first phone call and in my first email I would pay
mayen: i want to be peaceful
tim: I just needed proof from the hospital
tim: yah me too
mayen: so i think i have to change fone number
mayen: so that he cant call me
mayen: keep on asking and asking
mayen: aarggggghhhhh
tim: no - keep in touch with him
mayen: what i will do
mayen: he is decided
tim: why doesn't he get in touch with me if it's so urgent?
mayen: but its up to me
mayen: if i will write a lteer to the embassy
tim: saying what?
mayen: asking the shame you did huhuhu
mayen: really cant belive this
tim: asking the shame?
tim: bring it on that's what I say - I've got nothing to hide
tim: I asked for help - none came
mayen: i know
tim: waht was I supposed to think?
mayen: i want to end this up
tim: let him try and sue me - do it - go ahead with your letter
mayen: no
tim: I want it brought out in the open
mayen: why should i it will just make a mess
mayen: a hard times again
tim: I've already written to the Embassy about it anyway
mayen: the most important is that we talked already
tim: yah
mayen: thats it
tim: yah
mayen: i dont want to make it bigger
mayen: and bigger
tim: we talk - we air all our dirty laundry
mayen: heheh
mayen: its not good
tim: I ask Sir F to do the same - to talk to me to write to me with answers - he was very cold - full of blame
mayen: i told sir f not to.. just leave it all behind
tim: I am not worried at all
mayen: so better not to contact him
tim: well if he wants to sue me - he had better contact me
mayen: that's the one of the reasons why her wife is angry with me
mayen: involving those nonsense thing
mayen: are you still ther
tim: yah - well there is no doubt - it could have all gone a whole lot smoother than it did
mayen: so i do suggest not to contact him anymore
mayen: you or me
tim: ok -I'm happy with that
tim: but you are going back to Manila sometime
mayen: yes i will be back not to them
tim: but they know where you live
tim: and you work in the same sphere
mayen: i will be back to them if i can pay what i owe
tim: aha
mayen: its okay
mayen: I WANT TO BE PEACEFUL
mayen: aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
tim: so generous Sir Francis gave you the sack because you owe him money for a tragic accident of nature?
mayen: he never ask me to pay wht i owe
mayen: but still i want to return it back
tim: And he did not help me in getting help to you - by getting things organised swiftly and efficiently to ensure
that I had the infromation I needed from the correct sources.
mayen: its because the both of you are hot
mayen: exchanging words
mayen: you dont believe in him
mayen: he dont believe in you
mayen: so tired of it
mayen: blaming
mayen: blaming
mayen: blaming
tim: Well he didn't come across as very sympathetic- calling it "A mess that we had got ourselves into" "The trouble - come and sort out the trouble" Calling me "an animal of the worst kind" - when all I needed was some genuine help.
tim: Simply because I had some suspicions - he was insulted - he didn't deal with it rationally at all.
mayen: timmy enough
time: basta
mayen: okay
tim: basta
mayen: please
timel: yah I stop
tim: .
mayen: good
timel: .
mayen: hehehe
tim: stop
mayen: please
time: . full stop - red light
mayen: we will be in peacce
mayen: hehehe
tim: yah
mayen: id better change number
tim: then I can't SMS you unless you tell me the new one?
mayen: i will tell you
time: salamat po
mayen: here
tim: you have it already?
mayen: ***********
mayen: yes
mayen: this is our simcard we bought it
mayen: remember
tim: aha with the phone - yah
mayen: yes
mayen: only you knows it
mayen: so i will activate this
mayen: after we chat
tim: he he - I noticed your phone number has disappeared from your emails
mayen: hehehe
tim: your old phone number in purple
mayen: yes
mayen: a new beginning
.......................
[So it's clear now - they want my blog removed. Weeks later - an hour after posting the final piece of incriminating evidence on my blog & it being made public again - my account is hacked into - and deleted.]
......................
mayen: what will you do after this
tim: go to bed and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
mayen: ahhhhhhh
mayen: oaky
mayen: busy tommorow?
tim: Wednesday - I might have to start having someone here to work in the studio - a big slab of work - quite a few months - need the money
tim: it will mean morning starts - so chatting at this sort of time will be hard - huhuhuhuhuh
tim: we'll work something out - I will write anyway
mayen: okay
tim: but I can't stay up to the early hours - and work as well - maybe I could get up about this time and brave the wrath of Mrs T
mayen: okay
tim: she is normally asleep anyway - that might work - just before your lunch time
mayen: okay
tim: but I will email you regularly as clockwork - no problem
tim: we go with de flow - yah?
mayen: yes
mayen: yes
mayen: have to go now
tim: yah yah yah
time: OK my sweetheart - enjoy the rest of the day
tim: and the fiesta fun
mayen: okay
mayen: love you
tim: go eat
time: I love you too mWaaaaaaaaaah
tim: thank you for the time - we cleared up a lot yah?
mayen: yes
mayen: sms me
tim: yah - good stuff
mayen: in my new number
tim: yah I will on the new Number
tim: he he
mayen: you try it now
mayen: have you tried?
mayen: bye
mayen: have to go
tim: ok
time: it failed
mayen: why?
tim: *********** is that right?
mayen: no
tim: aha what should it be?
mayen: ***********
mayen: okay have to go
mayen: bye
mayen: mmwwwahhhhhh
tim: mwaaaaaaah I'll sort it out
tim: bye for now
mayen: love yu
tim: love you too mWaaaaaaaaah

So I send a text message to the new number - I'd got the international code wrong before - that's why the first one failed.

Despite telling Mayen I was going straight to bed - I decide to do some browsing - still searching for answers.
I feel madly in love while I'm actually chatting to Mayen - but as soon as we close the session - my feet are nailed to the floor again as the doubts set in.
These doubts prompt me to test Mayen's statement that she had changed the SIM card in her phone. I knew that she had two phones - the excuse for buying the new one was that the old phone was failing - but I only had her word for that.
So - about an hour later, using Skype - she wouldn't be certain who it was calling her - I decided to ring her old number.
On connection I could hear nothing - in fact none of the usual Skype sounds - then realising my mistake I hastily flicked the switch from loudspeakers to headset - and heard a very anxious voice - Mayen - "Hello? . . . Hello? . . . Hello? . . ."
Followed about an hour later - as I was on the phone to Jim talking about the possible lie I had uncovered - I received this:

SMS from Mayen 17:56 11/09/07
Timmyboy just activate d sim . . finish eating . .
hope u have a nice day ahead . . love u . mwaahh.sms me f u
will be online.

One simple question comes to mind - why? She thought I was in bed - what is she so anxious to prove? She was obviously extremely worried that I might have caught her out - and the mistakes keep coming.

Having previously told me that she had flown to Leyte . . .

On 13th September:

tim: how was your flight - did you get ear trouble again?
mayen: no i took ship
tim: aha all the way?
mayen: yah
mayen : via surigao
tim: how long that take?
mayen: superfery
mayen : 2 days and 3nights
tim: aha
mayen: yah
mayen: its too long
tim: comfortable?
mayen : not so
tim: how was the sea?
mayen: tired
mayen : wavy
tim: he he
mayen : yah
tim: like your hair

Marivien has apparantly contacted Mayen about my blog on MySpace - the whole story from A to Z - well actually from A - W. It's still going on, but I have suspended writing for the time being.
I had presumed that Mayen already knew about the blog from when I first sent them all the URL - in one of my many - "This is going to be the final communication" emails.
This news broke in one of our chat sessions.

I write to Mayen - my true feelings - perhaps a set back in our regaining trust with each other - because I have to explain my motives again.

Thursday 13th September
Mayen-Mayen-Mayen,
Thank you for your email - that is all good to hear - I got your offline message as well.
I thought you knew all about my blog on MySpace.
It was based on the journal I was writing during my first visit to see you.
It started out as just my private, personal story - a true love story - of me and you - how we met - including poems I wrote to you - photos of the trip.
It was so beautiful - I made it available for my friends to read - I wanted them to know what was happening to me - I was very proud and happy about it.
Then - on Friday 10th August - when it all started to go wrong - I kept on writing.
I wrote exactly as it appeared to me - I wasn't going to stop the story just because it seemed to be heading for a sad ending.
If I was being mis-treated - in the cause of love - something that was so beautiful turning really bad - I wanted people to know what it felt like - how these emotional extortions worked - how deceptive people could be - how devastating the results of it can be, financially, emotionally.
I wanted to warn people - so I kept writing - I attached all the messages - all the information I received to demonstrate just how haphazard - how amateurish it all seemed - it just seemed so incompetent that either way - true or false - it came across as being a scam.
I sent the URL to you, Marivien and Sir Francis in an email - I thought you would have read it by now.
The story has been up there all the time - sometimes private for just my friends - and sometimes public - for anyone that is interested to read and be warned.
So there it is - it's private right now.
Now remember, by the time I was at the end of the story - I was mad - really mad and angry at being treated like that - I thought that I was the victim of a despicable emotional extortion -"The HoneyTrap" - a classic scenario to extract money from a loving boyfriend by creating an artificial, emotional event - like an Ectopic Pregnancy.
As far as I could read it - as far as I could see - everything pointed to that being the case - and all the "sweetness" and "happiness" that led up to the event was simply a grooming process - gaining my confidence.
My confidence was gained - was that the object of the excercise - or was it pure and simply a beautiful tale of romance and innocence?
I can tell you - it's impossible to know - which is why I didn't fly.
My whole future depended on whether you were truthful to me - whether or not I could trust that I had a deep respect from you - not a pretend respect.
How can one tell? It's impossible.
I am perfectly in my rights to publicise and warn people about being careful.
Emotional scams only work if there is trust involved - I had to trust you implicitly to enable it to work - I had to believe you - blindly.
That is why I refused to do so - and tried to find out the truth for myself.
How was I to know that it hadn't been planned all along?
I've told you before - I don't know your deep motivations - I know you have love in your heart - but my insecurity has always led me to be cautious.
LOVE - is just a word on a screen - it can mean anything - it can mean trust me - fall in love with me - help me whenever I am in need.
I do not know you well enough to know your deep motivations - and they are camouflaged by our cultural differences - and by the disguise of the internet.
I only met you and your family and friends for ten days - is that enough?
This sort of behaviour does happen - and like it or not - I was determined that it was not going to happen to me.
Unfortunately this all reflects on you and your friends.
If we are to proceed - I have to know the truth - I have to restore my trust in you completely - it has to be restored to a level where I am absolutely certain of your deep inner motives - your real reasons for wanting this relationship - whatever they may be.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with you - I have to be sure that there is real respect there.
You could say anything you want to me - if the long term is not really what you want - you could make all sorts of empty promises - keeping things sweet - keeping my belief, my trust in line with what it is you really want - which leaves me vulnerable to be abused, disrespected.
It is a very serious point that has to be resolved - just saying "trust me" is not enough - especially with all the inconsistencies that have been happening recently.
So our story is there - perhaps we can write another chapter - I will continue with it - keep it up to date - if and when a change happens - only when I get final, unequivocal proof that what you have said happened really did happen.
The sooner people understand how it all appears to be at the receiving end of those messages - those events - from my point of view - then they might start to see why it all went wrong.
So - how do people suspected of deception ever succeed in being believed again when they do tell the truth? It's the story of "The boy who cried wolf."
Did he manage to be believed in the end?
Certainly it is extremely hard over the internet.
I was in a restaurant in Brighton - long before we met. One of the waiters told me that he used to own half the business before - but sold his half of the business to send some money to a girl he was in love with - a girl he had met while in Thailand.
He had met her family - signed a pledge promising to marry the girl - he bought her a promise ring.
He returned home.
He received word from the family that she was in hospital with an Ectopic Pregnancy - would he send money for the hospital fees.
He sent the money.
There were other requests for money.
Finally - he was asked to send some money for a deposit on a home for when he got married to the girl.
He sent money.
Eventually he was free to visit Thailand for the final time.
THEY HAD ALL DISAPPEARED - WITH ALL HIS MONEY - HE WAS TAKEN IN BY IT ALL.
He came back to England and now works as a waiter in the restaurant he used to own.
I am never going to deny that I love you.
I will never deny that I want a future with you.
Out of the two of us - only you know the truth.
ONLY YOU KNOW THE TRUTH - because - whatever it was - it happened to you.
BUT ONLY YOU KNOW.
Don't give me all that nonsense about cowardly behaviour, being weak, hiding, trying to make me feel guilty - that is simply playing on the emotions - which if it is a scam - IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT - playing on the emotions - twisting my heart to get the desired result.
That sort of behaviour convinces me even more that it is a scam - don't you see?
What was needed, was PROOF - a difficult task - but nobody tried.
I needed hard evidence - urgently.
I didn't get anything at all that looked remotely official - just excuses for why it couldn't be done.
I am resolved to get to the truth - the reason being because my love for you is so strong.
I have never given you cause to distrust me - you have nothing that I require, nothing that I need, nothing that I desire - except one thing - your genuine love and respect - a genuine wish to marry me and find a genuine happiness together - no matter what life may throw at us.
My love for you will always be there - the same - but we can only build together practically if I am satisfied on this issue.
Is your love for me strong enough to bare itself in honesty - reveal to me that it was a scam?
I can hardly expect that can I?
So whatever - I will always get the same story from you.
I am perfectly prepared to retract all I have said, all I have written - to apologise to all concerned - to pay for my obligations.
I have never, ever said I would refuse to pay.
I just need proof that I am not being cheated or lied to - simple as that - or as hard as that.
I needed help to get that proof - I still do - nobody has offered that help.
All I got were threats, emotional blackmail, silence and suspicious looking emails - nobody took it seriously at all.
Our story is there to remind us all of why it went wrong.
To remind people that I still require proof.
I have said that they are my own conclusions in the story - I have only written down what actually happened.
Can we write another chapter?
A happy ending?
I will never give up - until I die - it is of such importance to me - to know the truth.
So my plans haven't changed - they are simply on hold - my hopes and prayers are still the same regarding you - I have the same love for you as I've always had - supreme.
But it cannot move anywhere until we have resolution.
Hope to maybe chat briefly - but I will no doubt be disturbed at home here - I could go to town to be online at 5.00 pm your time.
I don't want a war either - I want peace - but a peace that is achieved through truth.
I would like nothing better than to resume - where we left off - with all the fun and love we used to feel - chatting to you - making plans - but it cannot happen just by wishing it to happen.
I am not going to make plans that are an illusion - just my fantasy - built on misleading signs from you - that is impossible - unrealistic and foolish to expect.
So please - practical suggestions only - he he.
God bless you Mayen - have a lovely day - enjoy life as I know you can.
Thanks for your email - please write again.
I do love you like no other.
mWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Timmyboy
XXX

Mayen replies with:

timmy, timmy timmy,
i understand how you feel.. but how about the people concerned? sir F, marivien?
me? for you its okay.. but how about them? we have different views in what you were doing.. but as i hear you.. i now understand how you feel..Timmy, as i have said to you, money scam might happened over the internet.. or to certain places.. to certain people.. but i will STILL INSIST THAT I CAN NEVER DO THAT TO YOU.. THAT ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME WAS TRUE...I SWEAR TO GOD....but as i have said its all up to you.. if you will believe or not..someday you will find the truth.. and satisfied yourself..
i wont stop communicating to you.. i wont hide and disappear.. i will just be here.
i want to prove to you that all what had happened was true and im real and sincere in our relationship.. i just hope and pray..that the both of us wont get tired..and im dreaming that we will have a happy ending..
chat later 5pm my time.. sms me.. okay.. sleepwell timmyboy
love ,
MAYEN

In a chat around this time . . .

mayen: yes you will come home
mayen: and why do i have to extort money from you
mayen: i will never ever do that
mayen: not in my mind
mayen: nor in my heart
mayen: i can never do that
tim: it does go on though
mayen: id rather live in my life i used to be that doing that

. . . and I have no idea what she meant by that last line.

Here's an interesting, but scary extract from a chat we had 18th September:

tim: Aha - yah I read about that island
tim: there are some strange cult people on it
mayen: yah
mayen: but they are nice cult
tim: are they?
mayen: yah
tim: you know of them?
mayen: yah
mayen: i was their before
mayen: the name of their cult is PBMA
mayen: philippine benevolent missionary
mayen: if im not mistaken thier leader is ECLEO
mayen: my classmates before in college are member of that cult
tim: I read something about a statue being built in one of the towns
tim: What do they believe in then?
mayen: they believe thier master ecleo
mayen: can i have what you read
tim: he has visions and stuff - he apparantly can appear in different places at the same time
mayen: maybe but i dont believe
tim: it was some time ago - I'll try and find it again - but not now - it will take time to find
mayen: okay
tim: he he
mayen: dinagat island is so nice
mayen: rich in sea foods
mayen: fresh
mayen: frm the sea
tim: I'm sure it is - very wild - there are not many towns

Now - on looking up the Ecleos, PBMA - and Dinagat Island again - I am confused and scared by Mayen's description of them as a "nice cult."
Jim reckons she mentioned this simply to scare me. Well - it worked - and matched the scary sensations I have felt on quite a few occasions since April 14th - spectres of strange dark forces - warriors - spirits of ancestors - strange carvings - gotesque masks - shadows cast by great black birds flying overhead.

These items were in the news in 2002.

QUOTE - Twenty-three people died in a night of violence as police went to arrest the politically well-connected leader of the cultist group Philippine Benevolent Missionaries Association (PBMA) last Tuesday on an island off Surigao del Norte.
Ruben Ecleo Jr., 47, finally surrendered yesterday after a night of bloody fighting between law enforcers and armed PBMA followers on the island of Dinagat, Caraga police director Chief Superintendent Alberto Olario said.
The shootout erupted as a joint team of Philippine National Police (PNP) and soldiers of the Army's 20th Infantry Battalion - with air support from two MG-520 helicopters - tried to serve Ecleo a warrant of arrest in connection with the murder of his wife, fourth-year medical student Alona Bacolod Ecleo, in Cebu City last Jan. 6. - UNQUOTE

QUOTE - Ecleo Sr. built for himself and his family a "kingdom" on impoverished Dinagat, a small, irregular and typhoon-prone island mass off the northeastern tip of Mindanao.
Since it was chartered in 1965, the late cult leader's PBMA virtually turned the entire island into an "Ecleo Country." The cult also became a powerful political machinery that it created, wittingly or unwittingly, a dynasty for the Ecleos.
Ecleo's elder brother, Moises, became a governor of Surigao del Norte. His wife, the former Glenda Oliveros Buray of Gitagum, Misamis Oriental, is now a representative of Surigao del Norte to the Lower House while his son Ruben Jr. was one-time mayor of San Jose town. Another Ecleo son, Allan II, is presently mayor of the same town where the PBMA solidified its base.
On San Jose now stand four multimillion-peso PBMA land­marks — the "Divine Master's Shrine," "Master's Mansion," "Comet House" and the cult's administration building.
The San Jose edifices are indications that the PBMA has grown into a multimillion-peso, if not a billionaire establishment. - UNQUOTE

The emails I received from Mayen in this period were truly lovely, but a double edged sword that cut right to my heart - if only - I thought to myself - if only I could guarantee that her words were true and as innocent as they appeared on my screen. I would not hesitate in flying to be by her side for the rest of my days.
Our chat sessions were full of fun, humour and what seemed to be a genuine warmth. I kept forgetting that I had stirred up a hornet's nest - and I was being stung by Mayen's affections - the only power she had to keep me in abeyance. The moment that her pretence of loving me stopped - I would be converted to my suspicions again and become a loose canon - dangerous as far as they were concerned - particularly at this time.
Tierra Maria were about to launch a big publicity drive - they had just contracted a high profile celebrity to endorse them - also it appears that they are recruiting for more "Mayens."

Here is a quote from their newly vamped website:

Tierra Maria Estates recently signed up Chin Chin Gutierrez, an environmental advocate to be its endorser and promote organic agricultural practices. Starting October, 2007, TME will launch a multi-million PR campaign complimented by many events and other marketing activities. In line with these, we are currently in the look out for more sales people to help promote and sell Tierra Maria and boost sales together with our current networks of Real Estate Brokerages.

It was so confusing - so wearying for my soul to be constantly vascillating between such a grand love and such ignoble doubt.
It was obviously hard for Mayen to get anywhere near the subject of the money still waiting at Western Union without raising my suspicions - hence only the subtlest of hints had been used as attempts to prod me in that direction.

On September 19th during a chat I became fed up with waiting any longer and popped the subject into the conversation myself, after all - she might doubt that it was true if I were never to bring it up.
The initial confusion in the chat arose because Mayen presumed that I was talking about my wedding ring - which I had left with her on my visit. Or maybe she just latched on very quickly to what was about to come from me and didn't want me to suspect that she already knew about the "engagement ring money" from my email to Sir Francis - however soon after her return to the arena, Mayen had made a direct reference to the part of that same email which mentioned my relationship at home possibly showing signs of being rekindled.
The dye cast upstream had already surfaced.

tim: I want to see the sparkly ring on your finger
mayen: really
tim: yah - engagement ring
mayen: i have here your ring
tim: you got it? I was waiting for you to tell me - he he -is it nice?
mayen: hehehe
mayen: yah its nice
tim: what's it like - describe it
mayen: just plain ring
mayen: hehehe gold
mayen: not my size
mayen: i almost lost it
mayen: huhuhu
mayen: lost typo
mayen: heheh
tim: not an engagement ring? you not buy one?
mayen: no
mayen: why shoul i buy
tim: because I send you the money for one - you not buy it yet?
mayen: i mean its your ring
mayen: i have it
tim: aha - no not my wedding ring
mayen: yah
mayen: your money you sent i spent it for our chat
mayen: before
tim: all of that?
mayen: yah.. the first you sent..
mayen: then the second time it was paid in the water fun
mayen: all
tim: no not the first lot - the last lot - about 44,600 PH
mayen: hah?
tim: where is it?
mayen: not 44 600 its 14 thpousand
tim: for a ring - I sent you an email? after we chat at your sister in Quezon city?
mayen: hah?
mayen: i never received
mayen: are you dreaming?
tim: you remember me -I ask you to chack your email on the Thursday I sent it to you?
tim: The day I had the telephone man here?
mayen: what date?
mayen: i never erase any e mail from you
tim: it was the 9th August - about 4-5 oclock
mayen: timmy i'll check my e mail
mayen: wait
tim: yah - I'm sure it was 9th August
mayen: i have here your e mail
mayen: august 9th
tim: just before the one you quoted the other day "I invest everything in you"
mayen: its subjct is back online rtight?
tim: no it's Surprise
mayen: no
tim: before back online
mayen: nothing
tim: sure?9 th August?
mayen: yah
mayen: no
mayen: i swear to GOD timmy
mayen: NO
mayen: I NEVER RECIEVED
tim: with the MTCN number and I ask you to choose a ring and wear it on the Wednesday?
mayen: i never erase any e amil from you i never received
mayen: maybe you are dreaming
tim: I never got a message from Yahoo - or anything saying it failed
tim: no -I'm not dreaming - honestly
mayen: timmy look i swear to God i nevr recieved
mayen: i swear
tim: I wonder if the phones had something to do with it - the flood in the phone cables? mayne - I have to check with WU - see what on earth happened to it
mayen: you only sent money twice
tim: no - this I sent on the 8th from WU
mayen: timmy
mayen: no i swear i never received
mayen: you only sent me twice
tim: huhuhuhuh - I wanted to surprise you - I knew about it when we caht when you were in Quezon - that's why I said check your email - huhhuhuhuh
mayen: the 9 thousand pesos and the 14 thousand
mayen: thats it no other
tim: no - this was much more - about 44,600
mayen: no i never recieved
mayen: if i recieved i shoul tell you
tim: I chack with the WU office - Mrs T has all my receipts - I'll go to town later in the day
tim: I was wondering - didn't want to ask - I wasn't sure how you felt about me
tim: huhuhuhuh
mayen: no TIMMY I SWEAR I NEVER RECIEVED
TIM: when did you look at your email after the hospital?
tim: when did you leave the hospital - what day?
mayen: i have here the e mail 9th of uagust
mayen: its entitled im back online
tim: no - it's before that - that was the next one I sent you
tim: what day did you leave the hospital?
mayen: no i never received
mayen: 22 think
tim: when did you check your email?
mayen: 23
mayen: i sent you the email the four feathers
tim: from Paranaque?
mayen: and thats it
tim: yah
mayen: i neevr received
mayen: i swear
tim: well - don't worry - I'll check with the WU office - it will still be there - but I have to tell them the date, amont etc - get the MTCN number again - don't worry
mayen: okay
tim: amount - typo
mayen: i thought you were dreaming
mayen: i was wondering you
mayen: huhuhu
tim: nope - definitely sent the money - don't know where the email is though
tim: I wantd to surprise you - but instead - you surprised me - on the Friday - he he
mayen: hehehe
mayen: yah
tim: huhuhuhuhuh
mayen: its really bad
mayen: i never expect it
mayen: really
tim: yah - bad syrprise
mayen: yah
mayen: now i understand you more
tim: future
mayen: why you were mad
tim: yah
mayen: at those timed
mayen: yah
mayen: yah
tim: it was scary
tim: for me
mayen: yah
tim: the things - basta -basta
mayen: but i tell you i never lie timmy

A part of me felt dreadful for playing this trick on Mayen, but so bad was my need to find out the truth of the Ectopic Pregnancy - I would have done anything.
Mayen lost no ground however, once the subject had been broached, in reminding me to check with the WU office, but conveniently using it to her advantage - to prove that she never lied to me.

Her email from later on that day - September 19th:

timmmyboy,
i have to go eat my dinner.. and dream of you.. its now a routine chatting with you.
cant live without it.. huhuhuh please dont forget to write me everyday.. i miss you everyday.
but i have to be patient and understand everyway.. but now after this chat.. i understand you more... your madness.. your feeling on that august 10.. its really very scary for you..i understand you.... investing your money and almost everything is the proof how much you care about me.. and i really appreciate it..again i tell you i never received any money from you on that august 9.. so better check your western union there.. its a proof that i nver lie to you.. and that tragic event that had happened to me is really terrible.. the fate on those times was not on our side..just now i realize its reasons.. a test how strong is our foundation of our relationship.. really, the fate was playing to us.. now we prove we are still here..loving each other.. patiently waiting for the right time for the both of us..i love you more each day timmyboy.. really.. and i promise you that i will be here waiting for you..
please be safe and dont forget me.. mwwwaaahhhhhhh and GOD will bless us..
loving you so,
mayen

Sunday 23rd September - my sister had visited from Portugal - she was very intrigued to read all about this incident - she waded through the whole story, with the pictures that was on my blog. Her opinion about what was happening matched everybody elses - highly suspicious - but she backed me all the way in continuing to try find out the truth.
This cast a shadow over my next email to Mayen - again - the trust that was developing took a step backwards.

My darling Mayen,
I have no doubts at all in my mind about how I have felt for you, or my intentions - since we first met on DIA.
You have come to represent my ideal lover.
How is this?
I hardly know anything about you at all - in truth - the girl I met and spent 10 days with, is now starting to appear through the veil of my fantasy - the ideal lover that was, more than anything else, my own wish fulfilment.
I seriously feel that more time is needed before either of us make any further commitment - more time must be spent in revealing communications, more visits - marriage is not to be taken lightly - that promise that we will make to each other.
This may sound like I have had a change of mind - a change of heart - that I maybe backing away in some respect.
Well, I think "in some respect" is a good term to use - out of respect for both of us - I think we owe it to each other not to become rash or hasty.
As you know - I have been totally confused by events - completely thrown off balance, off course - by an interpretation of these events that revealed our relationship in a whole new light - an interpretation that I must say, generally appears to be obvious to anyone who hears the facts.
I am not prepared to allow my trust to be an implicit part of my own wish fulfilment - in other words - simply because I want more than anything for our relationship to work - I am no longer prepared, as I was, to be blinded by my love for you.
Indescrepencies, emotional responses to situations, the timing of events, an overall paucity of cooperation - have produced a whole string of irregularities which do not ring true - making it impossible for me to shed my suspicions as to the motives and reasons for these events.
As we both are painfully aware - words are completely inadequate in bearing the truth - perhaps words and time in combination might prove to be a more successful formula.
I am not retracting my promise of our engagement or our marriage - for I do consider you as a very special, beautiful person - I am simply pleading for more time - for us both to prove each other more thoroughly.
My sister was intruiged immensely by our story - and in all honesty - has many doubts - and is very aware of the scars that remain - from the day that our embryonic love died - certainly whether physical or emotional - one is a metaphor of the other.
However there remains a phantom - a haunting - from the depths of my soul - because the seed of my love for you was planted there, tended and nourished - nurtured with all of my care. Can that phantom survive to be reborn?
Only time will tell.
If we are both willing to give it time - desire it strongly enough - and subject ourselves to the bright searchlight of truth in our sincere desire to continue the relationship - then perhaps it may survive - and may live into the future - with renewed hope and vigour.
For truth, honesty, trust and respect - as we both admitted to each other on out first night's encounter - form the only fertile ground in which love's seeds will thrive - and without which - a relationship such as ours - conducted over the internet, long distance - does not stand the slightest chance.
I feel we both have it within us.
I'm sure I can count on your continued understanding.
All my love - God bless you and take care of you.
Timmyboy
mWaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
XXX

Mayen's reply:

Timmy timmy timmy...
Yah you make me cry again.. seems like you are not certain at all.. because of some doubts in your mind..and of course the opinion of the people around you has really influenced you fully.. it really hurts in my part because i thought no one will hinder to our relationship..and its you who will decide for yourself..but as always you are affected by the opinion of others..well i can never twist your mind.. as i have said to you.. ITS ALL UP TO YOU.. as i promised you, i have to understand evry situation we will encounter, i have to understand and respect your decision as i can.. because I LOVE YOU.
The distance between us is the most scary thing for me.. and you know that.. Im afraid you cannot stand and hold on.. im afraid you will get tired.. because im not near to you.. yah i understand we have to take time to know each other more..and your feelings for me.. it seems you are not really certain.. after those 10 days we have shared, we seem to be strangers again..and thats the saddest part..
if only you were here for me..and if only im there near you..and cast all your doubts and fears you have in your heart..but i can never do that.. its just you who can help it and overcome it.. sometimes those feelings are hard to fight coz it rooted from within. from the inner part of you soul..and its ONLY you who an deal it, who can cast IT away..
But, still i love you.. and no matter what.. i will always love you.. im sure and certain of what i feel for you..no doubts no fears.. and again I will tell you.. I NEVER EVER LIE TO YOU AND GOD KNOWS MY INTENTIONS.. ITS ONLY TO LOVE YOU AND ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE..
Be safe always,
mayen

Tuesday 25th September - early in the morning.
Whether it was the closeness to the possibility of getting the money from the Western Union I do not know - but Mayen decides to use a webcam for the very first time ever in our relationship.

Oh my goodness - what an effect that has on me - to see her again - happy, carefree in her own environment. She has her friend with her in the internet cafe with a young daughter. I observe Mayen's love for the little girl - I am just filling up inside - my love, my desire to be with Mayen is intensified to a point of discomfort.
My doubts and suspicions are in for a real battering - surely not - this beautiful girl - the Mayen I met and spent 10 days with - she's just how I remember her to be - fun, bright, so attractive to me - in every way - we just felt so comfortable with each other. I cannot believe in the alternative at all.
Here, surely, is the reality of the Mayen I know and love - bad Mayen had almost entirely evaporated. Mayen is certainly playing her trump cards - I almost fold completely.

It almost seems too insulting, too hurtful for me to contemplate - but here is a golden opportunity for the truth to be revealed. Dare I ask Mayen to show me the scar? How would she respond? This is a highly critical moment.

As usual - at highly critical moments - I was constantly being interrupted during the first part of our chat session - by the telephone. Yes - it was early in the morning - but my wife was staying out with her other man and had been drinking beer all night - having nothing better to do, decided to pester me on the phone.
Aware as I was of the importance of the chat I was trying to have with Mayen on the webcam - I started to get angry on the telephone. She kept on ringing back.
In the end, I slammed the phone down really hard - this caused the phone system in the house to go into a seizure - they all rang constantly all the time - not the intermittent ring, ring - pause - ring, ring - no - one long deafening ring. I hastily went around the phone points disconnecting them, I turned off my mobile.
I went to disconnect the broadband phoneline as well to stop any more interruptions - but instead I disconnected the computer line - it all went dead - I hadn't understood what I had done at first - but as soon as I did, I sent an SMS to Mayen asking her to hang on - I'd be back online as soon as I could.
Eventually - after a complete re-boot we were resuming the second part of our chat session.

After a while I felt compelled to make my request:

mayen: i dont know what to do with this problem
mayen: really dont know
tim: I don't want to insult you any more - I don't want to hurt you any more - I want to start the long road to recovery
mayen: but how?
tim: I want things to become better than before
mayen: everytime we chat you keep on brininging back the issues
mayen: and insult me
mayen: and you dont believe in me
mayen: how can we start
tim: OK then - there is one thing you can do - then it is all cleared up
mayen: what/
tim: you are not going to like this
mayen: what you mean?
tim: I want you to show me something
mayen: okay what
mayen: my scar?
tim: your tummy
tim: yah
mayen: yah i can
mayen: do that
mayen: im not alone in here
tim: yah
tim: it's difficult
mayen: yah its not private
mayen: but i can show you
tim: yah I understand
mayen: how? i will tell the people here to go out?
mayen: suggest
mayen: now
tim: shout FIRE FIRE
mayen: hehehe
mayen: hehehe
tim: or TIMMY TIMMY
mayen: sillyman
tim: thatt will scare them
mayen: hehehe
tim: he he
mayen: oh my goodness
mayen: there are 2 of us here
tim: yah
mayen: how cxan i?
mayen: can
mayen: show you
tim: no - don't
tim: I understand -
tim: but I feel you would if you could
mayen: yah i will for my own sake
tim: no -you don't have to
mayen: i will.. i have to go to a friends hauz who has computer
tim: please - no
mayen: and i will show you
mayen: she hs webcam also
mayen: why?
mayen: you cant talk
tim: I can talk
tim: yah
tim: because I feel awful having to ask this from you
mayen: i understand
mayen: i want to clear this up
mayen: also
mayen: finish
mayen: everything
tim: I would rather just go on trust - but I am facing such a big change of my life - to come and be with you
tim: such a big change
mayen: no its just words from you
tim: it is scary - because of all the unknowns
tim: aren't you sacred about me at all?
tim: scared
mayen: no im not scared.. coz i know you..
tim: you know me - I will know you - again
tim: I have to
mayen: yah you have to
mayen: coz.. your unceratin
tim: I cannot go on without knowing the truth - I am sorry it is all my fault - that I gave in to doubts
time: it is all my fault - but this is such a hard way of finding out truth
tim: over the internet
tim: it is impossible
mayen: yah..
mayen: but first i have to show you my scar
tim: so that is why things have remained at a standstill
mayen: then the WU you follow up.. its a proof also
mayen: and then its you who will decide
tim: that is all I need yah
mayen: to go here or not
tim: yah
tim: yah
tim: I will be sure - and seeing you again - I think I already know
tim: do you understand
tim: I think I already know the truth
mayen: i will do it.. find private internet
tim: it is an enormous lesson for me to learn
mayen: yah maybe
.................................

tim: Mayen Mayen
mayen: what?
mayen: what
tim: please show me - today
tim: sometime
tim: please
mayen: what?
mayen: what you mean?
tim: what I need to see
mayen: is the scar?
tim: yah
tim: please
mayen: yah
mayen: its not private in her
tim: I know
mayen: kids are playing
tim: I know
mayen: suggest?
tim: you say you have a friend?
mayen: yah
mayen: i will
mayen: find way
tim: salamat po
mayen: what your thinking
tim: only of you
mayen: aside from that
tim: I am a man - can only think of one thing at a time
mayen: heheeh
mayen: yahh
tim: yah
mayen: i will find way to show you
tim: salamat po
mayen: and you have to follow up the western union
mayen: its really a one of a proof
mayen: to clear this up
tim: yah - I am waiting for them to call me back - I will ring them again
mayen: then the scar
tim: yah - and then we go forward
mayen: yah
tim: life can begin again
mayen: okay
mayen: yah
tim: yah
mayen: oaky
mayen: dont forget
tim: I won't forget darling Mayen
mayen: you always forget
mayen: are you busy thes weeekdays?
tim: what I forget?
mayen: forget mme
tim: not too busy - no
mayen: me
tim: I never forget you
mayen: okay mi will find way
tim: never
mayen: oaky
time: ok - salamat po - it is important
MAYEN: yah
mayen: oaky
mayen: next time we chat
mayen: okay
tim: what day?
tim: today?
mayen: scar
time: toady?
mayen: cant get
tim: today?
mayen: you want urgent?
tim: yah
mayen: cant get you
mayen: okay
mayen: okay tonite
mayen: can you
tim: what time for you?
mayen: ill sms you
mayen: i have to talk to the owner
mayen: to use it privately
tim: ok - it will be before I have to go out anyway
mayen: if i cant
mayen: i have to go to a friends hauz
mayen: i'll sms you
tim: OK salamat po
mayen: oaky
tim: then I will know - for sure
mayen: what else?
tim: and we can pick up the pieces
tim: nothing is more urgent than that - really - truly -
mayen: yah
mayen: okay
mayen: i will show you
tim: mWaaaaaaaaaaaah
mayen: and sms you
mayen: have to go now
mayen: pinky is sleeping
tim: OK - I leave my phone on LOUD
mayen: i'll be back
mayen: smsms you
tim: salamat po - I'll leave the YM on as well
mayen: yah
mayen: bye
mayen: later
mayen: okay
tim: you go?
mayen: yah
tim: later then - God bless you Mayen
mayen: pinky is sleeping
mayen: bye
tim: bye for now mWaaaaaaaaaaah
mayen: why your crying
mayen: joke hehe
mayen: brother also is waitng
tim: I cry because of your pain
mayen: okay
mayen: bye
mayen: brother is waiting
tim: bye for now - ok
tim: later my sweetheart
.............................................

Oh my goodness - here it comes - the moment of truth - the moment I had been dreading yet praying for. A resolution at last. Soon I will know.

Click the flags to read about all the alarm bells.

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Tierra Maria Estates Scam - 28 - Revelation day

Journey 27

Later on that day Mayen and I have a quick exchange of SMS - she is obviously well aware of the critical nature of revealing the scar - critical that I believe once and for all that it is all true - the Ectopic Pregnancy, the operation, the hospital stay - this would leave her, Sir Francis and her work colleagues in the clear.
I don't know how I would possibly evaluate our relationship afterwards - that is a whole other subject - was I getting cold feet about it all, looking for the easy way out that proving it to be all a scam would provide?

SMS from Mayen 16:27 25/09.07
darling i have talk d cafe owner, she told me
2morrow 7am my time i can use d cafe privately.
i hav no choice but 2 wait 4 2 morrow.
hope u will b thr luv u timmyboy

SMS from Mayen 17:05 25/09/07
timmyboy u nvr reply.cn u make it 7 am my time
2morrow? I luv u really mWahhhhh be safe
always

I send a text reply back to Mayen asking her what had happened to the idea of visiting a friend's house, that day.

SMS from Mayen 19:03 25/09/07
yah I tried im here in thr hauz, computer trouble,
thr sumth!ng wrong with hercomputer . .
no choice 2morrow il b going 2 d cafe
7 am will u b thr?

SMS from Mayen 19:16 25/09/07
yah want 2 finish all these blocks.7am my time 2 mrow
th!nking of u ryt now.cn u call me? if u cnt its okay,
I luv u. mwaahh

Now on reading these carefully - I came to the conclusion that Mayen was padding for a bit more time - for some reason. The first SMS arrived about an hour after we closed the chat session. I expect she made her plans there and then and talked to the internet cafe owner before she left, making arrangements for the following morning. The emphasis on the computer at her friend's house having something wrong with it makes it seem like a lie - besides she had already made the arrangements for the following morning.

I did phone Mayen - I was so tearful at hearing her voice again - I really broke down - she was crying as well - we both tried to pull ourselves together. After a long time on my cellphone talking - we decided to continue with a chat session - so Mayen headed out to the cafe again and we had a very loving exchange - on webcam for only the second time ever. Nothing was mentioned about the scar until we were about to sign off for the night, it was getting late in the Philippines.
I was feeling emotionally drained - full of shame and remorse - and an indescribable sadness at what I had possibly done - hurting this girl so much - the girl that I truly adored. Was I nothing but a sadistic hypocrite, putting her through all of this torture for the sake of my own guilt, purely because I lacked the sincere unconditional trust that should be implicit in such a deep love?
Well - Mayen would like me to have thought that - 100% - but I was still confused, ambivalent - changing my mind constantly from one interpretation to the other.

A pivotal moment was about to happen - the following morning.
The revelation of the scar. Everything hinged on this moment - and how I reacted, how I sincerely felt about it.
It would fly past - the webcam chat session - and then be gone for ever. I would have to make a very rapid assessment.
Unless - I wonder - is there any way I could record the webcam, allowing me to study the video later on - at liesure - in great detail?

I set to - scouring the internet for such a piece of software to allow me to do that.
Eurika - I found one - downloaded it.
I needed to test it out - see if it worked - become familiar with it so that I didn't mess up when the crucial moment arrived.
I phoned a friend who had a short webcam session with me - yes, it worked alright - but the free version only recorded for sixty seconds. I could do multiple recordings I suppose - but might miss some crucial frames. I coaxed my wife into letting me purchase the full version using her credit card - bless her for that.

7.00 am in the Philippines is midnight here in the UK. Way before midnight arrived I was ready - nervous, excited, emotional and full of considerable dread at what was about to happen.

mayen: timmy wake up
mayen: faster
mayen: timmy boy
mayen: good morning
tim: what - he he good morning my darling Mayen - sleep well? dream well?
mayen: yah sleep well
mayen: i"ll be here for an hour
mayen: only
tim: yah -and then?
mayen: go to the bus terminal
mayen: for manila
tim: wow- early ride - I hope your journey goes smoothly for you both
mayen: yah
mayen: hehehe
tim: are you alone there?
mayen: yah ahamed because i woke the owner
mayen: i called her hehehe shes still asleep
mayen: i awake her
tim: owwwwwww - you an early riser - I have not slept yet at all
mayen: aha
mayen: yah i wake up early
tim: yah with the cockerels
mayen: see me
tim: yah I do -see me?
mayen: yah
time: tahts better you stopped moving for a while
mayen: hehehe
tim: he he - you look beautiful as ever
mayen: salamat po
mayen: see you my scar
tim: please
tim: what are the other little marks on you darling?
mayen: what marks?
tim: litle marks above the big scar
tim: is that laporoscopy?
mayen: AHA i scrath them because its itchy
mayen: specailly at cold
tim: aha - nothing to do with the op then
tim: oh darling - oh oh oh oh oh
tim: what can I say -
mayen: really its a line
tim: I can say nothing except thank you for doing that
mayen: and until now its not yet heald inside
tim: yah a line
time: inside not yet?
tim: how can you tell?
mayen: yah coz sometimes its swollen
tim: oh my goodness
tim: oh darling I am so so so sorry
tim: I am completely lost for words
mayen: yah..
mayen: i never lie to you
tim: yah - I am
tim: yah
tim: yah
tim: yah
mayen: I never lei
tim: I go and get the gun
mayen: lie
mayen: no
tim: I could easily - but that is not the way
mayen: yah
tim: we are adult - well you are
mayen: yah
tim: I am relieved - shocked - stunned
mayen: dont know
tim: I am
tim: I am
mayen: if i have to believe
tim: I am
mayen: its you
mayen: up to you
tim: i am never felt anything like this before
mayen: im doing this to finish those blocks in your mind
tim: I am full of shame
tim: yah
tim: darling I am so sorry
tim: so sorry for my behaviour - I start to put it right
tim: from NOW
mayen: i hope so
tim: fromNow
mayen: i hope so
mayen: i hope so
tim: yah -you are so special - so special
mayen: salaamat po
tim: waht am I? a big JERK
tim: a big JERK
mayen: yah
tim: A big JErk
mayen: yah
tim: stupid jerk
mayen: yah
time: oh my God what have I done
time: well I start undoing that now
mayen: your pride will eat your whole being
tim: yah -I can't be proud now
tim: not ever again after this
mayen: yah you cant
time: I will need to seriously pray when we finish
mayen: yah
tim: Oh my God -forgive my stupid pride - for not believing in my heart
mayen: dont hurt me again timmy
mayen: please
mayen: dont do it again
mayen: WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT
mayen: timmy i told you
mayen: i never ever lie to you
tim: yes you told me all along
time: yes yes yes
tim: right - ok
mayen: if you only fly on the august 15 you will witness wht i'd been through
tim: form now - I need a bit of time to recover please while you are on your journey
tim: yah
mayen: its really very tragic
time: I know - I should have been there
mayen: the baby was ruptured
mayen: in my tube
mayen: really i never expect it
mayen: will happenn
tim: no - no one would expect that
mayen: the people around me is helping me
mayen: but you did?
mayen: you insult them
tim: nothing except create havoc
tim: yah
mayen: yah sir F was right you create a havoc
mayen: by giving us false hope that you will come home
mayen: and save me
mayen: but it happened already
mayen: we cant do it
mayen: we have to move on
mayen: make a brand new start
tim: my goodness Mayen - you astonish me
tim: you really do - i am beyond help with this now -
mayen: what i will say
mayen: i will say nothing
mayen: i have done all of those just to save our love
mayen: all of thses
tim: nothing darling I expect nothing at all - I can only thank you for showing me -salamat po salamat po
tim: yah - you have -an enormous sacrifice
mayen: yah
tim: I am moved like never before
mayen: yah
mayen: so please dont do it again okay
mayen: please
tim: no way
mayen: yah
mayen: salalmt po
tim: no way
tim: I go and soak this all up
tim: absorb it all
mayen: yah
mayen: yah
tim: oh Mayen - I will put things as right as I can
tim: I start NOW
tim: NOW
tim: NOW
mayen: hope so
tim: YAH
tim: YAH
tim: YAH
tim: resolve
mayen: hope sao
mayen: so
tim: while you are on the bus - I will go and pray and sleep
mayen: now you sleep well
mayen: yah
tim: and absorb all this now
mayen: yah
mayen: yah
mayen: you go to the vicar
tim: you have a good journey - you super special person
mayen: and ask for some advices
tim: yah I should go yet again
tim: yah yah yah
mayen: yah
tim: I will go
mayen: i will back to manila
mayen: huhuhu
mayen: find job.. hard to start
mayen: huhuhu
tim: a new beginning
tim: I will face everyone eventually
tim: and start to say sorry
mayen: no..
mayen: not yet
tim: staring of course with you
tim: not yet - I start with you
mayen: dont disturb there calmness right now
mayen: hehehe
tim: and you don't want words
mayen: no words
mayen: please
time: no words - only deeds
tim: yah yah yah
mayen: if you will write them they dont velieve
mayen: anymore
tim: I try to redeem a bit of myself somwhere
mayen: yah
tim: oh my goodness
tim: oh my goodness
mayen: you pray you will be at peace
mayen: and accept everything
tim: I don't know how
tim: I accept
tim: I have to
tim: it is all soaking down
mayen: yah
tim: so a new life all round - thank you for bringing this chapter to a close
mayen: yah
mayen: because i love you
mayen: i do
tim: I am amazed - totally
mayen: and im certain to what i feel
mayen: for you
tim: I love you - respect you more than I could ever imagine
tim: for this Mayen
tim: and I do not deserve you one bit
time: I will try to please you
tim: try
mayen: try?
mayen: NO DO IT PLEASE ME
tim: I have a big job ahead of me
mayen: HEHEHE
time: yah - not try - DO IT
mayen: timmy i want as like before
mayen: okay
mayen: no doubts
tim: in time - yah
tim: we be just US
tim: jUSt us
mayen: no suspiscions
mayen: just us
tim: yah
tim: yah
mayen: just you and me
mayen: no one will didtate
mayen: dictate
tim: yah just you and me my darling gUrl
tim: no - especially not in this house - he he
tim: Oh my goodness
tim: back to plan A
tim: he he
mayen: hehehe
time: or plan B
mayen: heeheh whatever plan
tim: or maybe C
mayen: its up to us
mayen: heheh
time: have I told you about plan C?
mayen: no
tim: maybe another day
mayen: hehehe
tim: when I've thought of it
tim: he he
mayen: hehe
mayen: timmy timmy timm
mayen: y
time: Mayen Mayen Mayen
tim: it is not such a bad world after all - thank heaven for that
tim: thank heaven for that
mayen: not all are bad
mayen: not all
mayen: maybe there are but not all
time: yah - I have many bad parts to see to
tim: I see now
mayen: fist
mayen: first
mayen: what?
tim: it is a shock - but I need to know this - thank you Mayen thank you
mayen: do you know
tim: what to do?
mayen: no your bad parts
tim: my wavering faith in what I originally believed in
mayen: yah
tim: my wanting perhaps to see an easy way out
tim: easy to write it all off as a scam
tim: but I tried to keep balanced - which is why I can accept this outcome
tim: now I have seen
tim: with my own eyes
mayen: yah
mayen: i hope it wont happen again
mayen: and i dont want to happen it again
time: goodness so do I
mayen: please dont do it.. its really not good
tim: I totally understand mayen my goodness
tim: but I will speak my mind - tell you what I feel and think -I am no longer afraid
mayen: im so sorry if i ask money for the hospital..
mayen: i thought it can help
mayen: but it doesnt
tim: we have such a bond - a tragic bond - but it is something unique to just us
mayen: it just create you doubts
tim: well - it was on top of everything else
tim: and my lack of sleep
tim: and home situation I expect
mayen: yah
mayen: maybe
mayen: but no excuse hehehe
tim: nope<BR>tim: excuses
mayen: yah
mayen: hehehe
tim: I have you
tim: I don't need excuses
mayen: hehehe
mayen: yah
tim: you have a good trip yah? where you stay tonight?
mayen: at the bus
mayen: huhuhuh
tim: on the bus?
mayen: yah
tim: really a long trip
mayen: 2 days and 1 nyt
mayen: i think
tim: you arrive when?
mayen: yah
mayen: tomorrow afternoon
mayen: i think
tim: wow - time for me to pick myself up again
mayen: hehe
mayen: yah
tim: knee
mayen: yah
mayen: hehehe
tim: handy for propping head up
mayen: yah
tim: you so special
tim: you have to go soon yah?
mayen: yah
mayen: so you will sleep after this
tim: yah - but I will go to bed
tim: yah
tim: yah
tim: and pray to the Lord to hear me
tim: and to keep you safe - I remove the mote from my eye
mayen: hehee
tim: first I try and get that out
tim: I hope to chat agian as soon as you feel ready
mayen: yah
...................
mayen: when i"l arrive manila tomorrow we will chat ok
tim: he he
tim: tomorrow being Thursday?
tim: or Friday?
mayen: if you dont have work
mayen: yah tomorrow night
tim: Thursday?
tim: Thursday night for you?
mayen: yah
tim: that is Thursday morning for me - OK I go to town for 5:00 pm your time?
tim: Thursday 5:00 pm
mayen: what day today?
tim: its just going into Wednesday over here
tim: 1:08 am
mayen: aha
mayen: yah
mayen: thursday %pm my time
mayen: 5
mayen: PM
tim: yah he he
tim: % o clock
tim: he he
mayen: HEHEHE
mayen: just typo
tim: mWaaaaaaaaaaaah
tim: I know I know I know
mayen: mwwaaahhhhhhhhh
mayen: love you
tim: mWaaaaaaaaaah - I love you m darling gurl

Wow - oh my goodness - I was gutted - destroyed by the sight of that scar. It looked so gruesome, so macabre - a great dark gash about four or five inches long just above her pubic hair - exactly on the indentation caused by the waist band of her knickers.
I was wrecked emotionally - hollowed out - there was little left inside of me - except a sort of grief - a feeling of self loathing.

Seeing the beautiful girl again who had totally won my heart - to whom I had made all sorts of loving promises - to see her stomach - her navel - parts of her body that I had intimately known - carressed - kissed - tasted. It was all too much for me.
No wonder Mayen saw me bury my head in my hands in total shock - saw me weep openly before her through the webcam.
I was relieved at last to know the truth - a final resolution - irrespective of how I judged it - I needed to be able to put an end to my haunting of guilt.
After we finished the chat session - I completely broke down and cried and cried - letting it all out - those weeks of tension - jumbled up, confused sensations of love - it all came flooding out. I announced what had happened at home - that I would have to face up to my responsibilities - perhaps accept the destiny of marrying Mayen, now convinced that she was a supremely wonderful woman - with such a power of forgiveness and compassion.

I sent Mayen the following email Wednesday 26th September - revelation day.

Darling Mayen - I have never in my entire life had to face up to the feelings inside me that I have now.
I feel the deepest shame for myself.
I feel so disgusted with myself.
I am so bitterly saddened that my own actions have caused such dreadful pain to you.
I have suspected, insulted you, your friends, family and colleagues as a direct result of my doubts and my lack of trust.
For all this - I am truly, truly so sorry - that I can assure you.
I am so amazed and humbled by your attitude - the result being that I have such an overwhelming respect for you which deepens the love that I have always felt.
You are truly a very special woman - and there is no man alive who would not feel enormous pride and happiness to be in a relationship with you.
In my circumstances, in my position now, I am humbled to a microscopic size - that you consider still journeying into the future with me - it is truly a further miracle to come my way - and is really unbelievable.
You have proved your beauty through and through - both inside and out - you are a shining example of humanity.
We need to start over - with God's blessing - and our willingness - our desire to do so.
It would be a loss that I don't think I could recover from, knowing you now, if we ever had to say goodbye.
Despite all that has happened - all the turmoil - I have always hoped beyond hope that you would somehow still be there - I would miss you catastrophically - terminally - were you to disappear from my life.
I know just how much I love you - I know the burning desire that you instill in me to be with you - forever - to have you as my wife - I would be so very happy to be able to know you for the rest of my life - closely, intimately, sharing everything - as close as two people can be.
I have never felt these extremes before - this compulsion.
It is all because of you - and how I react to you.
I think we both have a far deeper understanding of each other now - the road we have been forced to travel has shown us many things - some good - some bad.
We are both newcomers to this scene - the hellish world of long distance, internet based relationships - and the more serious the relationship becomes - the more treacherous these waters are to sail upon.
Y